Her Daughter's Dream Blog Tour with Francine Rivers

Many of you have been long-awaiting, with me, the next book in the Francine Rivers compelling series--Marta's Legacy. We all read Her Mother's Hope and if you're like me, you couldn't wait to read what would come of Hildemara and Marta.

Francine Rivers does not disappoint in Her Daughter's Dream as she continues this "rich and deeply moving story about the silent sorrows that can tear a family apart and the grace and forgiveness that can heal even the deepest wounds" (Tyndale House Publishers).

It is with great joy and honor that I share in the Her Daughter's Dream Blog Tour with Francine Rivers.

Book Description

Her Daughter's Dream by Francine Rivers (Tyndale House Publishers, September 2010)

In the dramatic conclusion to the New York Times best seller Her Mother’s Hope, Francine Rivers delivers a rich and deeply moving story about the silent sorrows that can tear a family apart and the grace and forgiveness that can heal even the deepest wounds.

Growing up isn’t easy for little Carolyn Arundel. With her mother, Hildemara, quarantined to her room with tuberculosis, Carolyn forms a special bond with her oma Marta, who moves in to care for the household. But as tensions between Hildie and Marta escalate, Carolyn believes she is to blame. When Hildie returns to work and Marta leaves, Carolyn and her brother grow up as latchkey kids in a world gripped by the fear of the Cold War.

College offers Carolyn the chance to find herself, but a family tragedy shatters her newfound independence. Rather than return home, she cuts all ties and disappears into the heady counterculture of San Francisco. When she reemerges two years later, more lost than ever, she reluctantly turns to her family to help rebuild a life for her and her own daughter, May Flower Dawn.

Just like Carolyn, May Flower Dawn develops a closer bond with her grandmother, Hildie, than with her mother, causing yet another rift between generations. But as Dawn struggles to avoid the mistakes of those who went before her, she vows that somehow she will be a bridge between the women in her family rather than the wall that separates them forever.

Spanning from the 1950s to present day, Her Daughter’s Dream is the emotional final chapter of an unforgettable family saga about the sacrifices every mother makes for her daughter—and the very nature of unconditional love.

How has exploring the relationship between your mother and grandmother helped you understand yourself?

This is a question I would love readers to ask themselves at the end of Her Mother’s Hope. I realized early in the story that I have many of my grandmother and mother’s character traits, both good and bad. They both had tempers. So do I. They both had low self-esteem. I’m always striving to “measure up”. They both chose spouses who respected them. So did I. Both women had strong faith and servants’ hearts, something they encouraged in me. My mother extended grace to others -- a trait I want to cultivate to the end of my days. By holding onto her anger, Grandma lacked the peace and joy she could have had in her last years. I tend to relive past hurts. Writing about Marta made me decide to let go, forgive and move on. For whatever reason, Grandma couldn’t and missed out on so much joy in her last years. Sometimes people deeply hurt as children take offense where none was intended. Holding a grudge causes suffering, especially for the one who won’t let go. Jesus said to forgive one another as He has forgiven us. Forgiveness frees us, even if the other person refuses to join in the process of reconciliation. As I examine my own life, I see how much I’ve been forgiven. How can I not extend God’s grace to others? The best way to experience the fullness of God’s presence in my life is to surrender it to Him. And in that surrender, we are made more complete and joy-filled.

Mother-daughter relationships are often complicated and fraught with emotional land mines. What was your approach to exploring the complexity of those relationships in a fictional setting?

Questions, lots of questions! Every time I told someone I was working on a book about mother-daughter relationships, people wanted to share their family stories. As I wrote Her Mother’s Hope, I wanted readers to see through each woman’s eyes, and understand how the past shaped each in the way she responded to her mother. Hildemara doesn’t believe her mother loves her, but it is out of Marta’s pain and loss that tough-love techniques were forged. Marta wants to strengthen her daughter for whatever lies ahead. Sometimes what we view as rejection can actually be an act of sacrificial love. We seldom know the experiences that shaped our mothers, the deep hurts, traumatic events, broken relationships. I hope women who read this book will want to share those things with one another.

Writing a novel is not for the faint of heart. What was the most difficult part of writing this family saga? What came the most naturally to you?

The most difficult part of writing any novel is getting out of my own way. I have to get rid of preconceived notions about themes and characters and plot. The first draft of this novel came in at over 1000 pages and was too biographical. I wanted the story to shift back and forth from present to past, trying to show what happened to create the rifts and valleys between Hildemara, Carolyn and May Flower Dawn. I was too cautious, too afraid to harm to my grandmother and mother’s memory.

A wonderful editor wrote me an insightful letter in which she listed what she wanted to know about each the characters. Her letter got my creative juices flowing. She helped me look at the story in a new way. I set the first manuscript aside and started over. I found it better to move from one generation to the next in a linear story. This time the characters followed my grandmother and mother’s timeline, but took on a life of their own. They became unique individuals rather than the shadow of real people.

After readers finish this series what do you want them to remember? What questions and feelings do you want it to provoke on a spiritual and emotional level?

I hope and pray readers who have had difficult relationships with their mothers or daughters will let go of the pain and anger and allow God to work in their lives. God can work all things together for good for those who trust and love Him. Following Jesus’ example changes the way we see people. It changes the way we relate to one another. Even when the chasm is too deep to cross, we can decide to forgive. Some people wear grievances like a dirty coat. With God’s strength, we can strip it off and be free. When people finish reading Her Daughter’s Dream, I hope they will want to extend God’s grace and forgiveness. I hope they will tear down their walls and use their life experiences to begin building a bridge.

Where may we connect with you further or to purchase a copy of HER DAUGHTER'S DREAM?

I would love for you to visit my web site at www.FrancinceRivers.com, browse through the various events and other resources available, as well as sign up for my mailing list. You may also join me on my Facebook page, please click here.

Book Trailer for Her Daughter's Dream:

READ THE FIRST TWO CHAPTERS NOW

To participate in Her Daughter's Dream book give-aways, please visit:

CSS Blog (please see blog posts for details)

CSS Virtual Blog Tour (please see EVENTS pages for details)

PLEASE NOTE: A complimentary copy of this book was provided to the me as a blog tour host by Tyndale House Publishers in exchange for posting this interview on my blog. Please visit Christian Speaker Services for more information about blog tour management services.

Mama T is in the house!

Thelma Wells' Ready to Win Blog Tour Interview
"Don't Give In...God Wants YOU to win!"
May 31-June 14, 2009

WELCOME Mama T!  Thank you for visiting Partners In Prayer for Our Prodigals!  

I’m delighted to be here today to visit with you and your readers, and share about a topic that is dear to my heart.

Thelma, you have had a successful banking and corporate career. You’ve spoken all over the country and around the world, done a lot of radio interviews, had your own television show, and written a lot of books. Many of our readers will be familiar with you from the Women of Faith conferences. It seems you’ve “done it all.” So when you left Women of Faith in February 2008, what was it that you were leaving them to do?

Actually, I really did not fully understand what I was going to do. I was simply following the very clear instructions of God that it was time to go. I had a few speaking engagements on my calendar but certainly not enough to make ends meet. My total dependence was on God and waiting to see what He had in store for me.

Your new book, Don’t Give In…God Wants YOU to Win!, is based on a real life experience. Will you tell us a little of that story?

I was in elementary school when one of my friends told people she was going to beat me up. I could not understand why but it was real. After school for two days I faced a crowd hungry to see a fight and a girl who I thought was my friend hit me and frighten me to tears. One the second day of my fighting ordeal my great grandmother who raised me gave me some strong advice, “Thelma, the only way to deal with a bully is to fight them. You better fight her tomorrow and beat her up. If not, you’re going to get a whipping when you get home. That was the determining factor. My Granny who had taught me that ladies don’t fight had just reversed the instruction to “fight the bully.”

I did fight her the third day and hit her hard, so she ran home, not me. I learned that when we are faced with the bully, the adversary, the enemy of our souls, the devil himself, the only way to win is to fight him with all the ammunition we have, the Whole Armor of God.

This book is about spiritual warfare, demons, the Holy Spirit, and some pretty heavy-duty areas. Why write on this topic?

In this day and age when all around us seems to failing like our economic system, the government, relationships, health, self-worth, business and workplace situations, the church, wayward children, divorce and so much more, it is imperative that people have something sturdy and reliable to hold on to. Everyday we are fighting some kind of battle small, great or tremendous. When we don’t know how to fight against the disappoint, heartache, confusion, depression, and all the emotional and spiritual fall out from these issues, we become desperate, violent, vicious and vile. John 10:10 tells us that the thief comes to kill, steal and destroy us. But, Jesus has come to give us life and that life more abundantly than the feelings of no hope. This book teaches about the only hope we have and how to use that hope physically, emotionally and spiritually with a guarantee that we are winners when we do.

Will you share with us the chapter titles?

Introduction: Time for Questions
Chapter One: Know How to Fight, but Never Start One
Chapter Two: Fight or Flight?
Chapter Three: Breakdown for a Blessing
Chapter Four: Weeds in the Garden 

Chapter Five: Thelma’s Untold Rituals 

Chapter Six: The Dynamic Duo
Chapter Seven: The Battle Is Not Yours

Chapter Eight: Winning Weapons 

Chapter Nine: Fix Your Hair! 

Chapter Ten: Pad Your Bra! 

Chapter Eleven: Tighten Your Girdle! 

Chapter Twelve: Put On Your Stomping Shoes! 

Something Extra: More Winning Weapons

You’ve been known as the BEE lady, but it seems you’re evolving into more than that? Where do you see your ministry heading in the future?

God has so many surprises for me that my heart is overflowing. I have a teaching and preaching anointing that has made my ministry one of integrity and worth. God is doing great things in my life and reinventing some vital things that will be seen by everybody in a few weeks. He has guaranteed me that the international travel I’ve done over the past thirty years, the seeds I’ve sown over my lifetime, the barriers and tough times I’ve overcome are about to pay off in many different ways. He has put Christian people in my life that have and are changing the course of my life in great and wonderful ways. I will be taking a group to Israel next November, on other Ready to Win tours throughout the world, working with World Vision in their child sponsorship program, presenting mini Ready To Win Conferences throughout the world, and whatever else the Lord assigns me to do.

Congratulations on your first Ready to Win Conference. We heard you had an awesome weekend in Garland, TX with a great group of speakers, musical artists, and attendees. Having done so many conferences in the past, why do another conference?

This is not just another conference. This Ready To Win Conference does not just excite people or create positive thinking, it gives everyone, saved and unsaved, the winning weapons to fight off all the wicked in this world. People are not only encouraged to win the war against the evil one, they are given easy to understand tools that they have reported are so vivid in their minds that they can apply every day in every situation. Coming together in a group and learning these tried and true skills is so much easier to understand than writing it in a book or seeing it on DVD. The reports have been that this works because they were able to see it, hear it, feel it, and use it instantly and forever. In today’s world, another conference is not what we are about. We are about people joining together from different denominations, ethnicities, geographic locations, languages, and thought systems and getting insight and instruction that can bring people of all walks of life together to become a mighty army against the forces of evil.

As a follow up, how can people get the Ready to Win Conference to their area?

People all over the world can contact me at contact us@thelmawells.com and we will get back with them with the details of how the Ready To Win Conference can come to their area.

In your book, Don’t Give In…God Wants YOU to Win!, you talk about doing rituals as it relates to fighting the good fight of faith. Will you explain that word to us and give us an example?

The word ritual is used on to denote the routines we have in our daily lives like fixing our hair, dressing ourselves, and being prepared for the day. It means nothing more than that and nothing mysterious that would attract any evil forces.
Spiritual warfare and putting on the armor of God is a daily activity for you. Is this because you’re a nationally known Christian speaker and author, or is this something that everyone should be aware of?

Spiritual warfare is the state of our lives whatever and whoever you are. We fight against anger, gluttony, smoking, frustration, and everything else that can make us less than our best. The warfare that we are in daily is because we live in a fallen world where Satan thinks he has power. Each and everyday he tries to confuse us into thinking that things are unfixable, out of control, etc. He is the greatest liar of all times and he lays tricks in our minds, if we let him. From the moment we were born until the day we die we will be fighting spiritual warfare. However, the good news is…people who have accepted Jesus as their Savior never have to fight alone. The end of the story is that Jesus and His people win and the devil is a number one loser!

Thelma, this book was released at a perfect time. So many people are struggling just to survive. They’ve lost jobs, money, health, marriages, and more. Many just want to give up! What can we do if we are in those situations to prepare for victory in the battle of life?

When you’re in a battle these are the things that must be done in order to win:

• Put on the helmet of salvation to cover your thought life. 

• Put on the breastplate of righteousness to guard your heart against devil and sin. 

• Put on the girdle of Truth so that you will be able to understand what real truth is and be able to use the Sword of the Spirit (The Word of God – the Bible) in every situation as Jesus did when He was tempted by the devil in the mountain. 

• Put on the shoes that have prepared you with the preparation of peace so you can march and stay fit as you tell other people about the goodness and the gospel of Jesus Christ.

• Hold up the shield of faith believing that God will keep every Promise He made for our good. • Pray for each other and for ourselves by asking God for what we need, seeking His perfect will in all we do and knocking continually until we know God has answered our prayers. We must realize that God does not answer all our prayers the way we want Him to but whatever way He answers them, they are for our good and for His glory. 

• Praise God with thanksgiving for all He has done and will do for us. The worship of God brings us into an atmosphere of being able to fight the good fight of faith and WIN.

Where/how does “submitting to God and the devil will flee from you” fit into spiritual warfare?

God asks us to do a simple thing, trust Him enough to give Him all of us. That’s hard to do when you try to control your life yourself. It really amounts to us (you and me) worshipping ourselves instead of worshipping God. When we live in humble submission to God, Satan will try to attack but God is our Protector. This is not a one-time submission to God. Everyday and sometimes during the day we must ask Him to lead us not into temptation and to protect us from evil because evil is always near. We are told to pray without ceasing. This means that we must stay in the attitude of prayer 24/7. It’s simple but it presents a challenge for us because we are so distracted by our day, our desires, our dreams, our relationships, etc. that we often forget that none of this would be possible were it not for the Lord who grants it. Submission means to let God be the driving force and the guiding force in our lives and trust Him that He will do exceedingly abundantly over and above what we can ask or think according to His power that works in us. The most peaceful, contented condition of my life is when I actually and earnestly turned my entire life over to the direction of God. I can now recognize when Satan tries to tempt me, confuse me, and drive me into doing or saying things I should not. It has come about with trust in God and practice of His word. Satan will attack but God will counter-act.

Most of us are familiar with the list of spiritual weapons available for us to use as listed in Ephesians 6. You have a way to remember these that might be more relevant to today’s woman – as a mom, wife, business woman, etc. Will you share these five things with us that you do daily when you’re getting “dressed” in the morning?











Thelma, it seems you are all over the Internet these days. Anyone can find you on your web site, Facebook, Twitter, web casts, a blog tour, the You Go Girl Network, and other cutting edge things with technology. Why is it important for you to use all these various methods to spread your message?

Technology is the way God planned for us to get His message to the world according to Matthew 28:19.

How did you get the name, Mama T?

A young lady in my church named me that because she thought that was a fitting name for me and it has become a loving name for the ladies in my mentoring groups.

So what’s next for the Mama T and Ready to Win?

My website (ThelmaWells.com) is being reinvented to a teaching tool for people to learn more and more about how to win the battles of life. There will be powerful tools available, I will be personally speaking with people and many other changes that will enlighten, encourage, inform, influence and empower people to fight the good fight and win.
Where can our readers buy your new book and register for the webcast?

On my web site, which is ThelmaWells.com. They can click on the July RTW On-line Web cast button to learn more or register for the next series of web casts that start on July 7. You can also watch this video to learn more…click here.

My new book, Don’t Give In – God Wants YOU To Win! is also available online and at local bookstores such as, Family Christian Stores, Lifeway Christian Stores, Amazon.com, Barnes and Noble Book Stores, Mardel’s, Anchor Distributors, Christianbook.com, and many other stores and vendors throughout American and the United Kingdom.
Is there anything that we didn’t ask that you’d like to share with us?

In all we’ve said, we need to remember that Jesus loves YOU and has a plan for your life. This plan includes you living a life free from worry and anxiety. God is in control of everything. When we trust in Him, give Him our lives to guide, seek the will of the Father, ask Jesus to be the Lord and Master of our lives, and accept the guidance of the Holy Spirit, we are winners and nobody or nothing can take that away from us! Thank you, darling, for having me today on your blog. I hope you and your readers will visit my web site at ThelmaWells.com. And remember always be READY TO WIN!

THE CALLING: A Voice in the Dead Woods

Occasionally, at Partners in Prayer for Our Prodigals, I participate in Blog Tours. Often, the authors I have chosen to highlight have written books that offer strength and hope for each of us as we stand in the gap for our prodigals. Most fall in the category of non-fiction writing with applicable tools and spiritual enlightenment for our prayer journey.

"THE CALLING" caught my eye the moment I unwrapped the book. Written by Jacob Israel, I was immediately intrigued by the book cover as well as the author's pen name.

Jacob Israel is unlike many authors we meet today. His compelling writing style brings the reader along a fantastic journey that may stay with them for many years to come. I was excited to spotlight him here and I believe you will find, like his book, there is more to Jacob Israel than meets the eye.

For the readers who don't know you, tell us a bit about yourself.

I'm a father to three amazing children and a husband to a wife I adore. I'm someone that has been through a lot in life and grateful for every moment of it. The good, the bad, the beautiful, and the ugly, all paved the way to become who I am.

Professionally, I'm an Emmy, Telly, and N.R.B. Award winning television writer and producer, who has been blessed with a steady creative career since graduating university. However, that is not who I am.

Most my life, I was one of those people who wore a mask to fit in. I felt very alone, alienated from those around me. Looking back, I understand why. Everything I've endured had great purpose. Never meeting my biological father, coping with a severe case of Crohn's disease, suffering abuse and abandonment, losing everything, it all played its part to humble me and get me where I am today. I spent the majority of my life questioning the meaning of it, learning that it is better to love than to hate, to give rather than receive, to be content and compassionate.

As a young adult, I was most comfortable on stage. I won a dramatic scholarship to university and that is where I found my love for the written word. It would be years, and many performances of my originals works later, that would I actually dare pursue a career in writing.

Today, I couldn't be happier with that career choice, I am constantly challenged and rewarded by it. There is nothing better than sitting down to write something that, you pray, will make a difference in someone's life. This was the impetus for my novel.

Let's talk about that, why did you write THE CALLING?

I wanted desperately to share a story of how love and forgiveness can overcome all things, even the most horrible. I had to write THE CALLING. I believe I was meant to write it. I had the seed of the story burning inside me most my life, but it wasn't until devastating circumstances in my life about four years ago made it possible for me to sit down and write it.

It was a very dark and hard time, but a lot of beauty rose from those ashes, and I would not trade that experience for anything. It's the reason I chose such a dark and fearful cover. There are too many things in life keeping us from following after our dreams and finding peace. Fear is the enemy of joy. It destroys relationships, hopes, families… it destroys lives. Allegorically, that is why the woods in THE CALLING are dead.

I wanted to write something that would provoke thought and encourage readers to move past fear and into faith, to seek the life I believe we're meant to live while keeping them guessing and entertained along the way.

You mentioned allegory, some have compared your novel to The Shack and Pilgrim's Progress; is that a fair comparison?

Well, I hope it is. I can only pray it has a positive impact on those who read it. As far comparing it, that wouldn't really be up to me. But, yes, there is a story beneath the story that is told. So, in that aspect, sure, there are similarities.

For years, I have studied scripture as well as many other philosophies and religious texts. Of course, the Bible has been my biggest creative influence, not to mention the spiritual. I love the revelation one receives when the heavens of our understanding open up and we finally understand what that verse (that we couldn't understand) finally means. "It is glory of God to conceal a thing, and honor of Kings to seek out the matter.”

In my novel, there are many hidden treasures for those with "eyes to see" if you will. Although, there is no need to look deeper, because I believe the message, intrigue, and suspense are loud and clear. It still is very rewarding, I think, to find the more veiled spiritual meaning but that's up to the reader. From anagrams, to events, locations, names, to the title of the book, and even (clears throat) the author's name, there is a reason for it all. Like, for examples sake, if one were to string every chapter title together, it might be cool if there were a hidden message there, wink, wink, nudge, nudge.

What does the title of the book mean?

Well, I believe all of us have a calling on our lives, a purpose we are to carry out. Thomas James, the lead character in the novel is no different. His purpose is a bit grander than most, however. He doesn't truly understand the significance of what he is called to do. The novel documents the first eighteen years of the boy’s life. He's haunted by nightmares of what may come, visited by strange messengers, abused, alienated, and abandoned, yet despite his circumstances he has an uncanny ability to love and forgive. Thomas is ever questioning the role he is to play and his circumstances. Perhaps, Thomas was "called" to be that "voice in the dead woods" the title speaks of, calling people out of the deep sleep that keeps them from finding out who they truly are.

You mention the first eighteen years of Thomas's life, the book does lend to a sequel; will we hear from Thomas again?

Sure, THE CALLING is the first novel in a series. Before the Prologue you'll find two pages with two peculiar quotes. One states, "Your life is not what it appears to be, what will happen when the truth is poured out on a world that is deceived?"

What is interesting about this passage is, it is credited to "The Book Of Thomas James" in the year 2012.

Most may skim past passages like this, but like I said, there's a reason for everything. So keep your eyes peeled for the next book in the series to released in the next year or two.

Who will this book appeal to?

First of all, let's talk age appropriate. I am excited to hear how varied the ages are of those who love the book. I'm most surprise with those age twelve and up. I wanted the book to appeal to a large demographic. So, to have a younger generation also excited about an allegorical fiction with a mature spiritual message and theme is a dream come true.

As far as, what type of person should read THE CALLING, I believe anyone who is not fulfilled in life, who wants more from entertainment than just escape, anyone who has suffered, or experienced great loss and didn't understand why. I think, whole heartedly this is the book for you. You will relate with Thomas's struggle, you will be encouraged by what comes out of it, and inspired by how anything is possible with faith and love.

So, Jacob--what exactly is THE CALLING: A VOICE IN THE DEAD WOODS about?

THE CALLING is an inspirational thriller about a twelve-year boy named Thomas James, whose extraordinary insight and purpose changes the lives of those he meets, and sets the world on its edge.

The self absorbed, greedy, and arrogant residents of Bethel begin to despise young Thomas James for the honest words he speaks. His peers torment him, strange messengers visit him, and an evil presence fights to destroy him every step along the way.

Thomas suffers from prophetic nightmares and visions he does not understand. The loss of his family is almost more than he can take. His internal struggle to make sense of his circumstances leads him down a perilous road, where nothing is as it seems.

Soon, the startling revelation of who Thomas James truly is will confound the masses and inspire all those he sets free.

You have to find out what is in us all that makes us heed the "Calling".

Where is the book available and how do we find out more about it?

You know my website is a great place to start. It is http://www.jacobisrael.org/ and it has video trailers, a synopsis, sample chapters, reviews, links to purchase it online and general info about upcoming events, news, etc. I also do a bi-weekly video journal posted in the author section. Like the book, I hid messages, inspirational poetry, and lots of other fun stuff to find on the web site. The book is available everywhere books are sold, if you can't find it at your local bookstore, see if they can order it for you, and if not, all the major online retailers, from amazon.com to target.com carry it as well.

In closing, what do you want the readers of THE CALLING to take away from this book?

Obviously, I hope they enjoy it and are entertained. However, the most important thing to me is that, those who read it will find that even in the hardest, and most difficult of times, there is hope. Hope…that is what I want people to take away from this book.

As the Deer panteth

MONDAY'S MUSINGS

As I stumbled to my window early this morning and pulled up the blinds, it was difficult to NOT stand in awe as I watched my backyard neighbors! I love when this happens!

Upon hearing the noise at my bedroom window, this deer lifted it's head from grazing to see what was goin' on!

On the first day of this week, there is a lot goin' on!

"Say, what? You've got somethin' goin' on?"

Well, in fact.....I do!

Following Allison Bottke's two-part interview last week with Dr. James Dobson on Focus on the Family, the Setting Boundaries team has been busy, busy, busy. :)

The Setting Boundaries team is thrilled to help so many parents in pain discover the 6 Steps to SANITY that can (and will) change their lives!

In addition to the interview, Focus on the Family hosted a Parent Community online Forum with Allison. Thousands parents in pain have viewed the Question and Answer Forum with Allison as she replied to each question on the online forum.
(Doesn't she look pregnant???)

The two SANITY Support Groups that I have facilitated over the past 12 weeks have decided to "birth" another SANITY Support Group! It has been such a blessing to walk through the six steps to SANITY with 35 parents on each Tuesday and Thursday evening! What joy they will bring as they share the SANITY message with other parents in pain--there IS HOPE and there IS HEALING!

Our online Forum Communities have lit up with comments and questions from parents in pain around the nation. I'd love to have you visit and register to be part of this dynamic online conversation! Please leave a word of encouragement to other parents who are trying to find their way out of the "gerbil wheel" of insanity!

Partners in Prayer for Our Prodigals has had great response to our new guest blogging event: "First Friday's With Val." This Friday, April 3rd, please join come back for Val's second post; and if you have a question for Val, please leave it in the comment section and I will forward it to Val.

Don't be shy! You are not alone in your journey. It is my prayer that you will find comfort in knowing there are others on this journey with you.

I am thrilled to share with you the news of an upcoming webcast, featuring Allison Bottke speaking on "Setting Strong Boundaries in a Shaky Economy." Please check this out--you can watch this webcast from the comfort of your own home (couch, maybe ;) ) and learn how to unleash the power of SANITY choices to take back your life.

So as we begin this very busy week, will you join me in taking a moment to focus on Psalm 42: 1

"As the deer panteth after the water brooks, so panteth my soul after thee, O God."

Who are you seeking in the busy-ness of your week? May we be faithful to remember that God:
"...alone is our strength, our shield
To God alone may our spirits yield.
God alone is our heart's desire
and we long to worship Him."

To hear this beautiful song, please click here. Have a great Monday!

Friday's Wrap Up....on Saturday! ;)

Allison Bottke, author of Setting Boundaries With Your Adult Children: Six Steps to Hope and Healing for Struggling Parents, recently had the pleasure of holding a heart-to-heart conversation with Dr. James Dobson on his daily Focus on the Family radio show. It was an amazing two-part interview that has generated tons of interest in the SANITY Support Group Network.

I would like to share the links to this interview with anyone facing the day to day crisis of dealing with an adult child. Please pass this on to other hurting parents and grandparents who are struggling with the issues of adult children causing chaos in their lives.

Part 1 of 2 - March 23, 2009
http://listen.family.org/daily/A000001866.cfm

Part 2 of 2 - March 24, 2009
http://listen.family.org/daily/A000001867.cfm

You can also order a CD with both part by visiting http://family.christianbook.com/Christian/Books/product?item_no=5014673&p=1143722&event=ORC

If you are interested in starting a SANITY Support Group in your Church or Community, please let me know! The response to Allison's interview with Dr. Dobson has been significant and we have been busy this week communicating with parents in pain who want to share this message of HOPE and HEALING with other hurting parents. We are not alone in this journey!

SANITY IS making a comeback! There IS hope and healing...let's join together and spread the SANITY message!

I am here to help you...don't be shy! Join the other parents who are discovering the freedom that happens when you begin to Set Boundaries with your adult children!

And, don't forget to leave a question for Val; "First Friday's with Val" will be posted on Friday, April 3rd. If you have a question you would like to submit, please leave a comment and I'll be sure to forward it to our guest blogger! She would love to hear from you!

Have a blessed weekend!

TURN YOUR RADIO ON!

SPECIAL INTERVIEW WITH DR. JAMES DOBSON 

FOCUS ON THE FAMILY RADIO SHOW 

U.S. Air Date:  Monday, THAT's MONDAY, March 23, 2009 

Help for Parents of Adult Prodigal Children (Part 1 of 2) 

U.S. Air Date:  Tuesday, March 24, 2009 

Help for Parents of Adult Prodigal Children (Part 2 of 2) 

Allison Bottke and James Dobson have a heart to heart discussion about dealing with your Adult Prodigal Children.  This is a two part interview airing with Part 1 on Monday (TODAY!!!!) and Part 2 on Tuesday. 

Then again, on Tuesday, March 24, 11 a.m.-1:00 p.m. (EST), Allison will be LIVE, online, to answer your parenting questions.  Do you have a question for Allison?  This is a great opportunity for you to post your question and meet Allison online, on Tuesday, for the answer!  

Click here to find your local channels and air times for this very important interview.  Remember, if the Focus on the Family Radio Show is not available in your area, you can listen to the interview online  :)   at Focus on the Family.com, Listen to the Daily Broadcast, right next to Dr. Dobson's photo. 

MONDAY'S MUSING

Monday's Musing

The high for today....

.....are you ready?

A better question might be: Am I ready!

-1

Yup! I'm not teasing; that would be minus 1 Fahrenheit.

A good day to stay in and read my new FAVORITE Devotional.

Rick Renner's Sparkling Gems from the Greek is a 365 Word Study for Every day of the Year to sharpen your understanding of God's Word.

Yet, it's so much more than that!

There is something very special about studying Greek words; reading the
Words of Jesus understanding each word used, bringing His original intent to Scripture.

Renner brings the gospel alive each day and I honestly feel as though I have sat with Jesus and his disciples as I read each devotional each morning.

An excerpt from December 15th: (Romans 12:11):

"Paul also says that we should be "...fervent in spirit..." The word "fervent" is the Greek word zeo, which originally meant to boil. This is the picture of a person so enthusiastic about his task that he can hardly contain his excitement. The desire to do his job with excellence and enthusiasm is constantly boiling inside the person who is diligent about his assignment. In fact, the Greek tense used here would be better translated, "...Be constantly fervent in spirit..." The word "spirit" does not refer to the Holy Spirit, but to the attitude of this believer. It means, "...Be constantly fervent in your attitude..."

Then Paul takes it another step by saying that we are to be "...fervent in spirit; serving the Lord." It is very plan what Paul is declaring here: A right attitude is one of the most effective ways for a person to serve the Lord. You see, when a believer does his job right and with an awesome attitude, it is a testimony to the name of Jesus. But when a believer does his work shabbily, he projects a sorry image of who Jesus is. This is exactly what happened in the case of that foreign head of government who asked me if all Christians were as mediocre as the ones he had encountered." (Renner, 2003, 956)

Knowing that Rick Renner and his wife Denise live and minister in Russia where they are bringing the Light of Jesus to "a world filled with intrigue, interest, historical happenings, and exceedingly unusual developments...a world where spiritual darkness prevailed, but which is now being penetrated by the Light of the Gospel"--does this change the tone of Romans 12:11 for you?

I have been convicted.

Does the busy-ness of this Holiday Season render me "slothful?" Does the sub-zero weather cause me to complain and become complacent as I sit before my fireplace, toasty warm, knowing it is too cold to go outside? The things that cause our Western Society to become apathetic, indifferent or luke-warm pale in comparison to the struggles of the Romans who received this Pauline letter or to the Russians who Rick Renner ministers to.

Renner says, "The word "slothful" is the Greek word okneros, a word that means lazy or idle. It carries the idea of a person who has a do-nothing, lethargic, lackadaisical, apathetic, indifferent, lukewarm attitude toward life."

And then, there's the challenge: "When people look at my life, do they come away with a positive idea of what a Christian is like, or does my example leave people unimpressed with Jesus Christ?"

OUCH!

My Prayer for Today:

"Lord, I am very convicted by what I have read today. I don't want to allow any area of my life to be a bad testimony of who Jesus is. Therefore, I am asking You to open my eyes and show me those areas of my life that need to come up to a higher leve. Please forgive me for being tolerant of low standards that are not compatible with the excellence of Jesus' wonderful name. Starting today, I want to move up higher. Holy Spirit, please help me as I start taking steps toward making serious changes in my life, my attitudes, and my actions."

Though the windchill may plunge--my spirit must rise!

And beginning each day with Sparkling Gems from the Greek....is a great way to heat up my spirit: I want to be "constantly fervent," how about you?

A Letter....

A Letter from my future daughter-in-law

For more than a decade, we have prayed for our MIP. Over the last few months, we have all experienced a calm--a peace if you will, that has created a renewed confidence. I have posted that we are sitting in the lap of God. I shared with you how I said NO...and survived. And, when my MIP announced he was getting married, I knew I had prayed for his fiance since before I knew her name.

Now, this morning, as if my joy were not large enough, I received a letter from my future daughter-in-law. It was a sweet letter, a letter of thankfulness. And yet, as dear as her words of gratitude were, the words that have blessed my heart to overflowing were, "if Curt and I are going to make it as a family, we must have God in our lives, not just as one, but as a whole. My mission this week is to get Curt to church!"

Dear Mothers (and fathers) of prodigals, (MIP's!)--God hears our prayers. While you are standing in the gap for your loved one, it may feel as though your efforts as a watch(wo)men are in vain. They! Are! Not!

In this email of gratitude, my heart is filled with a Hallejah-gratitude.....for God is so faithful.

Yes, when we love a prodigal, our soul cries out to the Lord, "I wait for the LORD, my soul waits, and in his word I put my hope. My soul waits for the LORD more than watchmen wait for the morning more than watchmen wait for the morning" (Psalm 130: 5-6). Days, weeks, months, yes, even years go by as we stand in the gap for our loved one. And then, one day, as though our wait was just for a moment, we begin to see God's handiwork.

No matter where our prodigals journey, God can use their circumstances to bring them home. No distance can separate them from the love of God. No enemy too strong, no temptation too big--God our Savior is the hope of all the ends of the earth and of the farthest seas, He formed the mountains [with His] power having armed [Himself] with strength, [He stills the roaring of the seas, the roaring of their waves, and the turmoil of the nations." Psalm 65: 5-7

Our God is able.

He has brought a young woman into my MIP's life who believes that God is important to their future happiness.

Our hope is not in vain. He sustains me according to His promise! (Psalm 119:116) And I will praise Him forever for what He has done and IS doing. In His name I will place my hope, for His name is good. (Psalm 52: 9)

My future daughter-in-law is on a mission! Much like the mission of a watchman standing in the gap. Folks--this is HUGE!

HOPE in our LORD, is never in vain. And though we may tire and grow weary, our hope in the LORD "will renew [our] strength. [We] will soar on wings like eagles; [we] will run and not grow weary, [we] will walk and not be faint." (Isaiah 40: 31)

As for my reply to my future daughter-in-law's email...I am going to tell her what a gift from God she truly is. And, I'm going to ask her to help me plan the banquet. As for God, "I will praise [Him] forever for what [He] has done; in [His] name I will hope, for [His] name if good. I will praise [Him] in the presence of [His] saints." (Psalm 52:9)

And, for my dear blogging friends who stand in the gap with me for my MIP and your own, please hear what cannot be contained: We "rise before dawn and cry for help; I have put my hope in your word. My eyes stay open through the watches of the night, that I may meditate on your promises." (Psalm 119: 146-148). "The Lord delights [...] in those who put their hope in his unfailing love." (Psalm 147:11). "There IS hope for your future, declares the LORD. Your children will return to their own land."

That's some letter!

FRIDAY SHOW N TELL

NATIONAL ADOPTION MONTH

Did you know about BlogRadioTalk? Me neither; not until last night, that is, when a friend from FaceBook posted that she was getting ready to do her radio show in 30 minutes. Well, off I went to www.blogtalkradio.com/GodUnplugged and I sat in the comfort of my new office (!) and listened as Amy Hammond Hagberg interviewed an amazing (that's AMAZING) young man, Nate Huss. Where have I been? I haven't heard about blog-radio...and I hadn't heard Nate Huss's voice yet?!?!?

This young man not only has an outstanding voice and musical ability, he has a love for the Lord that would make any mother proud. ;)

Adopted at birth, Nate's song, "Your Own" has been chosen by FOCUS on the Family to highlight their November ministry campaign in support of Christian Adoption. After hearing his song, it is not difficult to understand why it was chosen.

Please...sit back in your chair, click on the video, turn up the volume...and just focus on the lyrics to this song. His interview tonight on Blogtalkradio....was just as compelling. I think I'm going to send him a list of questions and do a Blog interview. Remember those....old fashioned things!

I can't think of a better thing to share this Show N Tell day!

Be blessed!

My God Box--Blog Tour

(Tackle It Tuesday: Making a difference!)

Margaret Iuculano has made a difference. Her recently released book, My God Box, is the compelling story of her journey through foster care; "a topic that desperately needs to be addressed and has reached epidemic proportions--500,000 children" go to bed every night in the US in the Foster Care system.

Margaret is a much needed voice for these children who find themselves in an " overloaded Foster Care System with children falling through the cracks daily and being put into homes to provide safety only to be left neglected again. How can we expect these children to become productive adults growing up in this environment? How can we teach these children how to have faith in God and then themselves to correct the wrongs being committed in their lives? How can we help Foster Parents to recognize the difference they can make in a life of a child and the importance of their role? And most importantly, how can we teach to break the Cycle of Abuse so we can shrink the numbers of children going into foster care in the future?"

As many of you know, this is a topic that is near and dear to my heart. My husband and I have fostered 21 children over a 12 year period of our marriage. In fact, I have written about our Foster care experience with our oldest foster daughter, Diana, in a series entitled, "Why Foster Care."

Diana came to our home when she was 13 and soon became an orphan when her birth mother legally terminated parental rights. Her father, an addict, previously abandoned the family.

She has remained a vital part of our family and our hearts and is now 36 years old and has a beautiful family of her own. This is not a typical path for those children aging out of foster care.

In My God Box, Margaret writes of the "truth [that she] came to realize changed [her] life and can change the lives of others. " Margaret's story encourages those who read to "have faith in God--put your troubles into his hands and allow him to use you for the purpose you were born for. Once I started to follow this truth in my life I came out of despair to complete happiness and peace. I recognized my ability to help others and the importance of viewing each other as God's children, people who possess a lot of value and have a mission, just like I do, for God."

This message is the difference that our foster daughter heard one morning a few months ago as she listened to the radio in her car and heard Margaret's interview regarding My God Box. Diana called me that afternoon and with a joy in her voice that was rare, announced, "Mom! I heard this woman on the radio today whose story is MY story." After listening to every detail that touched my foster daughter's heart, I decided to Google Margaret Iuculano and try to contact her. Diana needed that book!

Margaret replied to my email request immediately and personalized a copy of My God Box and sent it out to Diana that very day. I could barely wait for Diana to call me when it arrived in the mail several days later.

AND, I could barely wait to participate in the Blog Tour! I have asked Diana to share her thoughts with you all today, for it is only appropriate that you hear directly from her the DIFFERENCE one book, one story, one life.....can make in another's life.

Several months ago, I was listening to a morning radio show out of Minneapolis, MN and I heard Margaret talking about her book. I was thinking, "this is about MY life!" Upon my return home, I called my Mom and told her about the book. A few days later, I received an autographed copy in the mail and began reading it immediately.

I was amazed at how similar, almost parallel our lives had been. But, I felt that she has accomplished some thing I have been unable to. Having an abusive and volatile home life as a child; different men entering, abusing and then leaving our home, a nonexistent father and alcoholic mother--gave me no hope. Finally, I was removed from the home at age 11 due to an abusive step-father. I was one of the lucky ones being placed with families who were loving and nurturing. The first home was a temporary home where I was allowed, for the first time, to be a child. The second was a family that, to this day, I have a great relationship. They are my Family, thank God. I was made a ward of the state at 12 or 13 and desperately wanted them to adopt me. However, for reasons unknown or unexplainable to me at the time, I was denied that piece of paper I thought would change my life.

At 16, not able to or unwilling to comprehend this failure on my part, I attempted suicide and was forced to move to a new home.; to the home of a very nice woman, with whom I still have a great relationship. But at that time, all hope was lost again and I began looking for that attention I so desperately longed for in all the wrong places. I had my first child at 23, married her alcoholic father and divorced him within a year. Now I am 36, I have been married for 8 years and have two other children, one of them, Hailey, has a severe disability. Yet, I still feel that I am missing the love and approval of that mother/father figure I have so desperately longed for my whole life.

Margaret's book, My God Box, has made me realize that maybe I have been looking for that love and approval in the wrong place. Having feelings of being failed by our small town church and their lack of understanding and grace with regards to my daughters disability, I no longer attend church but have started reading the Bible and praying much more than I have in the past. Still a bit of a skeptic, but I am now willing to see if God is what has been missing from life all this time.

I would suggest anyone feeling alone, alienated, or anyone looking for love and acceptance--this book is a must read. Whether your childhood was riddled with abuse and neglect or not, this book will show you how God can get you through even the toughest of times.

I am so proud of Diana and can't wait to see what God will continue to do in her life.

I am so grateful that Margaret has shared her story and just know that it is touching the lives of so many; bringing them the hope they have waited so long for.

When asked what compelled Margaret to write My God Box, she replied with a challenge for each of us, "I feel I was blessed to have found God amid all the pain and misery I endured during my growing years. However, I also feel it's time to give thanks and give back. I struggled for over two years with doubts and mixed feelings about setting my life in print, but whenever I took a step back, I was energized and encouraged by the awe-inspiring certainty that God wanted me to tell my story--for self-healing, but more importantly to open the minds and hearts of other suffering individuals to the mercy and goodness of God. God is hope. Without God there is no hope. Without hope there is no life.

Thank you Margaret for showing us all what a difference we can make when we simply give our lives, pain and all, to our God of hope and abundant life.

So from Diana, from Margaret and from your blog host, I would like to say THANKS for taking the the time to visit Margaret's Blog Tour today. Margaret adds, "if you would like to learn more about me and my mission, please visit Margaret Iuculano: A Story of the Power of Faith and Angels for Foster Kids and know that 100% of the book proceeds goes to Angels for Foster Children. Please feel free to contact me at anytime."

The prayer of Margaret's heart is that others would "see the message in My God Box and that it will inspire you to learn to overcome a traumatic experience and more importantly help someone else. I pray that you will agree that all it takes is a mustard seed of faith to realize your God Given potential." To visit other blogs where Margaret will be appearing each day, October 6-19, 2008, click here.

Spread the Word and enjoy the GREAT music!

A Reflection on this Mother's Day

Could I have known from the very start, 

How lost I could be in my child's heart? 

The joy I would feel at the sound of her breathing~

That with her first breath....my life had new meaning. 

How could I have known how much she would change me? 

Becoming the woman I n'er dreamed I could be. 

How deep the commitment to walk side by side, 

And protect at all costs, my love would provide.  

How can it be that my heart would expand? 

To make enough room for such a young man? 

Each child's unique and God's gift--times two...

Family! Such blessings, I had not a clue. 

           Still moment by moment I learned to trust, 

           No matter my history, old pain turned to dust. 

           For God had provided a healing path, 

           Revealing His love; a love that will last. 

I couldn't have known how complete I would feel, 

How full was my heart, to love with such zeal,

No holding back was my new found creed, 

Could it get any better?  Yes! Then there were three! 

How much we have grown since that first Mother's Day, 

God brought us together, there's no other way. 

My heart knows for certain, you were sent from above, 

To bless this mother's heart with an enduring love!

TACKLE IT TUESDAY

***** I'm sure you're exhausted from all of your tackling today--sit for a spell and relax; read this fabulous interview with Allison Bottke, author of the newly released "Setting Boundaries....."  It may be the most valuable tackle you do today.  Thanks for visiting and leaving a comment for Allison!  

Interview with Allison Bottke

Thank you Allison for taking the time to speak to my "Partners in Prayer" about your new book, "Setting Boundaries with Your Adult Children: Six Steps to Hope and Healing for Struggling Parents."  In previous interviews you have stated that you have come to embrace "a truth that has changed my life--I no longer believe in coincidences, I now embrace that God is the 

Master of orchestrating 'God-cidences.' " 

I believe, Allison, that this very moment has been orchestrated by God to minister to those who are reading this interview.  I believe with you that God "has a plan for who he wants us to meet, what lessons he wants us to learn, even what books he wants us to read.  He even has a plan for the trials and tribulations of life."  

Since the start of Partners in Prayer for Our Prodigals nearly three years ago, I have witnessed this very truth in action and am so honored to have you here with us today to discuss your very personal journey to writing this book.  

You write that this book has come out of your own personal experience with your son.  Please tell us about that. 

Allison:  For years I really thought I was helping my son.  I wanted him to have the things I never had growing up.  I love my son, and I didn't want him to hurt--but sometimes pain is a natural result of the choices we make.  For a long time I didn't understand the part I was playing in the ongoing drama that had become my son's life--I didn't understand that I didn't have to live in constant chaos and crisis because of his choices.  When I chose to stop the insanity and start living a life of hope and healing my life changed.  It's a feeling I want other struggling parents and grandparents to experience.  I want other parents to know that change is possible when we choose to stop the destructive cycle of enabling.  And we can stop it.  I know, because I've done it.  

It is difficult line to walk between helping and enabling our adult children.  You say there are two separate yet intrinsically combined things going on when we look at the pathology of enabling our adult children, help us understand--what are those two things?

#1.  We have the issue of the dysfunctional child himself--the product of our enabling.  Most often, we are dealing with adult children who have no concept of healthy boundaries as they pertain to their parents and grandparents.  Many are dealing with addictions to alcohol, drugs, sex, pornography, gambling, and more.  Some of these children are involved in illegal activity, while others have been in and out of jail numerous times.  Some are abusive to us.  Some have jobs while others do not, most have extreme financial challenges.  Others are still living at home, and some have even moved their spouse or "significant other" into their parents' home with them.  Many have been in and out of treatment centers, most often at the urging (and cost) of their parents.  While we cannot change the behavior of our adult children, we can change how we respond to their actions and to their choices.  We can, and must, begin to establish healthy boundaries and rules.  

#2.  Then, we have the issue of our own personal health and growth (or lack thereof).  For many of us, we have spent years taking care of, bailing out, coming to the rescue, making excuses for, crying over, praying for, and otherwise focusing an unhealthy amount of time and attention on this adult child, that we have neglected our own mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical health.  Many of us have neglected other family members as well, as the adult child has taken so much of our energy.  Some of us are now experiencing severe financial ramifications from having enabled our adult child.  Others are finding their marriage falling apart as tempers flair and situations spiral out of control.  What is it inside of us that makes us respond in such a way--that makes us enable our adult children?  

Amen! Sister!  You've got my attention!  If, as you say, the main problem with dysfunctional adult children isn't the choice they make or don't make--but something else entirely; if their choices aren't the main problem, what is? 

Our biggest problem isn't about our adult child's inability to wake up when their alarm clock rings, or their inability to keep a schedule, or their inability to hold down a job or pay their bills.  It's not about their drug use or alcohol addictions.  It's not about the mess they're making of their life.  The main problem is about the part we're playing in stepping in to soften the blow of the consequences that come from the choices they make.  The main problem is us.  Instead of praying to God to stop the pain, remove the difficulty, or change the life of our adult child, we must rise up and pray for something entirely different.  We must pray for the courage to look deep in our own heart and soul--pray for the strength to begin a journey that quite possibly may change our own life--and pray for the wisdom to make new choices in our own life. 

Somehow, Allison, this is very encouraging news!  After years of trying to change our dysfunctional adult child, you have given us the hopeful news that there is something tangible we can do--have the power to do--change me!  After years of subconsciously, inadvertently and sometimes intentionally enabling (sometimes it's just easier to give in!), what are some things that parents can do to break the cycle of enabling? 

Follow the six steps to S.A.N.I.T.Y.:  

S:   Stop blaming yourself and stop the flow of money.  Stop continually rescuing your adult          children from one mess after another. 

A:    Assemble a support group of other parents in the same situation. 

N:   Nip excuses in the bud. 

I:    Implement rules and boundaries. 

T:   Trust your instincts. 

Y:   Yield everything to God, because you're not in control.  

These six things can start a parent on the road to S.A.N.I.T.Y. in an insane situation that is spinning out of control.  However, a key issue in breaking the cycle of enabling is to understand whose problem it really is.  

Brilliant, Allison!  By using an acronym, and an appropriate one at that, you have given us a tool to remember as we transform our prayers, our thoughts and our actions.  A worthy goal for every parent.   What is the ultimate goal of "Setting Boundaries?" 

While recognizing and identifying enabling issues must come before positive change can be made, it is the eventual peace and healing parents will feel as they gain power in their lives that is the goal of this book.  It's a tough love book for coping with dysfunctional adult children, as well as getting our own lives back on track, "Setting Boundaries with Your Adult Children" empowers families by offering hope and healing through six S.A.N.I.T.Y. steps.  I walk parents through a six step program to regaining control in their home, and in their life.  

This book is more than a social science research project, from the opening pages, you are very candid regarding your own struggle to boundaries with your adult son, in a section titled "Why I Had to Write This Book."  Why did you feel the need to be so open so quickly? 

There are many good books available on boundaries.  Most of them are written from the perspective of a psychologist, therapist, counselor, or theologian.  Never in my years of searching for help did I find a book on boundaries written by a parent in pain who had walked in my shoes.  I wanted readers to quickly understand that this book was different.  

Where can my "partners in prayer" go for more information on your book and on the S.A.N.I.T.Y. ministry? 

Everything you could possibly need is contained on our web site, Sanity Support Group Network.   I encourage your readers to tell me what they think about "Setting Boundaries with Your Adult Children."  I really do want to hear reader feedback.  They can reach me at "mailto:SettingBoundaries@SanitySupport.com"  

Remember to tell a friend in need and help save a life!   

Allison, thank you for sharing your heart and soul with us today and in "Setting Boundaries."  You have given us tangible ways to regain control and for that, I say THANK YOU!  Let the healing begin!   "Real healing begins when a parent stops believing the excuses and lies and insists on the truth.  As we develop our action plan, there must be no room for excuses.  Our boundaries must be firm.  There is a right and there is a wrong, and we are going to choose to do what's right.  Period (p. 118, Bottke, Setting Boundaries with Your Adult Children).  

As we put our action plans into motion, let us always remember, "We should never give up hope that our adult children will find a way out of the dark abyss of addiction.  We should never stop encouraging them, emotionally supporting them, and loving them.  And we should never stop praying for them.  Miracles happen every day, and God will make a way where there seems to be no way" (p. 189).  Like the father of the prodigal son in Luke 15, may we begin today--and everyday by surrendering our adult child(ren) to the God and keep our eyes on the prize--the banquet that awaits each of our prodigals as they discover their way home.  For as Allison writes, "We do not parent as those who have no hope.  We have a God who watches over our children--if we'll just get out of His way and let Him do the restoring" (p. 72).  

Let me know, please, if you're getting out of His way today--won't you?  I am; I may need your support and should you need mine--I'll be here.  And so will the many others who are praying with us.....daily....for the miracles we long for.  Today, let's agree to pray that the miracle will begin in us!