Wednesday, August 01, 2007

Dear Son,

It has been a very long 48 hours of silence. This is last day of the three day assessment you have agreed to participate in. Tomorrow morning we will meet together and listen as New Season's outlines their recommended treatment program, hand-designed for you.

Your Dad and I have been trying to keep busy while we wait nearby missing you so. We returned to the Pier at Hueneme Park Beach where we all walked early Monday morning before you entered New Seasons. From the very first moment I saw this Pier, I have known it was our "Pier of Hope." In fact, today as I muddled through the afternoon, I returned to it's point and sat watching, watching, and watching. Unaware of what I was looking for, after all, there was very little more than rolling waves, I was compelled to pray. It was at that exact moment that I realized it was on this Pier of Hope that I would be your watchman--seeking God's protection for your upcoming decision to stay.

In ancient days son, watchmen sat atop the walls that surrounded the cities. From the vantage point of towers, these watchmen could watch for invading armies threatening harm to the city. When an enemy was spotted, the watchmen would announce their impending arrival and all of the towns people had a job to do to protect their city. Drawbridges and gates were closed, civilians were protected, water was secured to put out the fires from any flaming arrows launched by the enemy; everyone had a job to do to spare the city.

As I sat on our Pier of Hope today son, I prayed in earnest Psalm 130: 5-6: "I wait for the LORD, my soul waits, and in his word I put my hope. My soul waits for the LORD more than watchmen wait for the morning more than watchmen wait for the morning." It was the first time during the last 48 hours that I felt I was doing something of lasting value. I wasn't sight-seeing, I wasn't just killing time, I became your watchmen on our Pier of Hope. I was on alert and readying for the looming battle. Each of us has a job to do to spare our "city (our family)." I have asked the LORD to go before you in this decision, to protect you from the flaming arrows of the enemy--to put out these flames of doubt, confusion, fear and resistance--and allow you to do your part. It is your decison, son, but know this--you are not in this battle alone.

This afternoon as I retreated from my vantage point on "Pier of Hope," I did not leave with the same heaviness I felt when I entered. My heart is settled, I will be your watchman....watching, watching, watching....waiting to announce any threat, but more importantly, petitioning the One who is our fortress...He is our strength, He is our very real Hope son.
I love you. Your Mom


Barb said...

I've just read all your letters to your son Diane. You honesty and your transparency are amazing. I can tell that this is at least as hard on you and his father as it is on him. I'm praying for all of you and especially that he makes the right decision.

Diane J. said...

The watchmen were the first line of defense for their city, just as you are for your prodigal, Diane.

Courage, faith and peace I pray for you, my friend.

Love and hugs,


ktwalden said...

What beautiful words! Thank you so much for sharing.