A CHRISTMAS JOURNEY HOME by Kathi Macias

How did you come up with the idea for A Christmas Journey Home?

I knew I wanted to do a Christmas book—the first of what would become an annual event that my publisher and I were discussing—and I also knew that despite the lighter tone required in a Christmas book (as opposed to the darker themes of the persecuted Church and human trafficking, which I’ve been writing about), I had to stick to my “brand” as closely as possible: hence, an “issues-related” Christmas novel, dealing with the issues related to illegal immigration.
What was your favorite scene to write in A Christmas Journey Home?

I loved writing this entire book, and the characters are delightful (except the villains, of course!), so I loved almost all the scenes. But I think I liked the scenes with Isabella’s old abuelo best, as the grandfather reminded me of my own grandpa and even my dad, both of whom I loved dearly. I love incorporating at least one elderly saint in each of my books, and in this one I decided on a man since most of the other books have had women as the elderly, praying characters. I also brought in a little boy because children can add such a delightful element to any story, and six-year-old Davey certainly does that in A Christmas Journey Home.

What was the most difficult scene, and why?

The toughest scene had to be when Francisco and Isabella thought they were finally on the verge of being able to get away from the migrant camp and find a small home of their own, where their baby could be born in relative comfort and safety. If you’ve read the book, you know that isn’t at all what happens. But this heartbreaking scene had to take place to bring the story to its miraculous conclusion.

What is there about you, apart from writing, that many people don’t know?

First, my “road name” is “Easy Writer” because my husband and I were Harley riders for many years. (We’ve traded the bike in on a 2005 Corvette, so I’m still “Easy Writer” but in comfort now!) Also, I served on staff at a large Southern California church for several years, training small group leaders and doing biblical counseling, among other things.

Who are some of your favorite writers, and are you an avid reader?

Absolutely I’m an avid reader! I have always loved books/reading/words and been fascinated by them. When I ran out of books as I child, I started writing my own. (Voila! Look what came of that!) As for favorite writers, that’s tough, but here are just a few: Brock and Bodie Thoene, Francine Rivers, Patti Lacy, Athol Dickson, Jim Rubart, and Alan Paton, who wrote my favorite all-time fiction book, Cry the Beloved Country. That book changed my life and inspired my novel set in South Africa in 1989, No Greater Love. I also enjoy reading Brennan Manning, Jennifer Kennedy Dean, Oswald Chambers, and Max Lucado for nonfiction.

What’s on the horizon for you now, so far as future book projects?

I am currently finishing up the final book of the three-installment Freedom series (Deliver Me From Evil, Special Delivery, and The Deliverer). Then I will jump into my Christmas 2012 novel (working title is A Home For Christmas) and a novel called Last Chance for Justice, which is part of the multi-author Bloomfield Series with another publisher. After that I hope to get going on a new fiction series, which is still in the discussion/planning stages with my publisher and agent. So life is busy, but most contracts coming my way seem to be fiction right now. I am also keeping busy with very occasional editing projects and some speaking/teaching around the country.
Where can we find out more about you, The Freedom Series, and keep up with your to-be-released books?

Please feel free to visit my website at www.KathiMacias.com.

I'm depressed!

In an effort to be authentic, I'm just gonna say it, there's no hiding it, it happens: I'm depressed.

I expect it--life happens; but still, I'm not happy about it!

I know what to do when it happens--still I don't have the energy to do it!

So, I'm setting the timer, I'm giving myself 24 hours to pout. I will function, I will do what I have to do....but I'm not gonna be happy about it!

Remember this post? And this post? What a difference a month makes. Oh, I know life is a rollercoaster...but I wish the fun of the rollercoaster would last longer than 4 weeks! Our son, the one who is finding his way to independence, was so happy and proud of his new job. He dressed for success, he arrived at work early. He finished each project with pride. And then, his back went out. Due to a curvature of his spine, our son's back has muscle spasms that hurt like crazy. We've known he cannot do work involving heavy lifting or labor; apparently, sitting at a computer all day working irritates the muscles in his back causing tremendous pain. He has been doing physical therapy and sees a chiropractor, takes muscle relaxants and pain medication. Nonetheless, his doctor ordered a two week medical leave from work--no twisting, no turning, no bending--no working.

His employer was very understanding, however, because he was hired on a temporary contract, his contract has been cancelled. His 7 month contract lasted two and one -half weeks, he has been without work for three weeks.

We have been holding him up, encouraging, supporting and finding perspective. I feel pressed at every side....when your child struggles, familial and parental relationships are stressed. Trying to find balance is exhausting! The collateral damage extends to every area of support and hope in your life. From part one: "Still, no matter how certain the family is that others will not understand—after all—history has shown just that—the family needs support. This is a heavy burden to bear alone. The family spirals into a shared depression, which of course, is desperately addressed once again, by itself. Even though the prodigal’s family may be diligently trying to live in the joy of life, it is collapsing under the pressure of the collateral damage of the prodigal’s journey. Individually and corporately, the color of their world has been tainted. Short of the miracle of the prodigal's return, will the brilliant hues of their hearts ever be restored?"

The details of this collateral damage really aren't as important as their existence. They zap! They drain! They corrupt. Like a bad virus on your computer (my laptop is going in as soon as the Geek Squad opens!), they need our God-squad! I've not been very good at pouting this morning because of a post that Grandma Dawn posted last week. I can see it in my mind, as though I am reading it--it is running through my mind in technocolor! How is a girl suppose to pout!

Yes, "We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed." 2 Corinthians 4:8-9

BUT, as Dawn reminds me in the replay of her post:

When the valley is deep,
When the mountain is steep,
When the body is weary,
When we stumble and fall;
When the choices are hard,
When we’re battered and scarred,
When we’ve spent our resources,
When we’ve given our all,

In Jesus’ name, we press on.
In Jesus’ name, we press on.
Dear Lord, with the prize
Clear before our eyes,
We find the strength to press on.
Forgetting all that is behind us
And straining toward all that lies before,
We press on toward the mark
Of the high calling
That is ours in Christ our Lord.
In Jesus’ name, we PRESS ON!

De-pressed? OR PRESS ON?

Hmmm? I may have to reset that timer....I may not need 24 hours!

Edited: 1:45 p.m. Perspective: Having just returned from doing some necessary errands with plans to take a nap and feel sorry for myself, my timer has been turned off with the devastating news coming in from Virginia Tech. 32 students dead--21 injured and one shooter--dead. May God be with the many families who are hearing the shocking news that their college aged son and daughters have been killed. May God comfort their aching souls as they try to understand such a horrendous tragedy. May our Father in Heaven hold them in the palm of His healing hands--hold each person who has been directly affected by this terrible event.

Works for me Wednesday

Prayer Closet

Do you have a favorite place to pray? A place that calls you to spend time with your God? This is my prayer closet; the place that, today, I will be on my knees in prayer for a dear blogging friend, Heather. Some of you may know Heather from Especially Heather--others certainly know her as one of the creators of Faith Lifts. She is Emma's Mom, and she needs our prayers.

Heather has been diagnosed with a brain tumor--glioma. For up to date information, you can follow her journey on her blog. Please visit Heather's blog and leave a comment of encouragement and prayer support. Then, please begin praying for this dear woman. Let's gather together today and storm the gates of Heaven. May God use this tumor as a witness to His faithfulness! After all, His Word is rich in blessing and promise.

Matthew 18:19 "Again I say to you that if two of you agree on Earth concerning anything that they ask, it will be done for them by My Father in heaven."

Mark 11:24 "Therefore I say to you whatever things you ask when you pray, believe that you receive them, and you will have them."

Isaiah 58:8 "Thy light shall break forth as the morning, and thy health shall spring forth speedily; and thy righteousness shall go before thee: the glory of the Lord shall be thy guard."

Psalm 41: 3 "The Lord will sustain, refresh, and strengthen [Heather]on [her] bed of languishing; all [her] bed You [O LORD] will turn, change, and transform in [her] illness."

Psalm 34:19 "Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the LORD delivers [her] out of them all."

Romans 8:31 "What shall we then say to these things? If God be for us, who can be against us?"

3 John 2 "Beloved, I wish above all things that you may prosper and be in health, even as your soul prospers."

Bring the Word of our LORD to your prayer closets today blogging friends. May His Word, His Resurrection Power, His Love, cover Heather today with a mighty force. We're asking for a miracle! Jeremiah 23:29, "Is not My word like a fire? says the LORD, And like a hammer that breaks the rock in pieces?"......LORD, Let your Word be like a fire and destroy this tumor that threatens Heather's life....may your Word be like a hammer that breaks this tumor into pieces. We're resting on His promises: "For all the promises of God in Him are Yes, and in Him Amen, to the glory of God through us." (2 Corinthians 1:20) Amen...and Amen!

“Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” 2 Corinthians 4:16-18

Heart-Shine

Just this afternoon, I received a phone call from a dear friend who is going through a turbulent struggle, one that is threatening the very life of her beloved son. After months of caring for the needs of this young man, she is tired; emotionally exhausted, physically depleted, and psychologically worn. Still, the cheery voice on the phone this day is filled with joy and strength as she relates how God is caring for her soul; that at the core of her very being, her heart is overflowing with renewed strength and hope in spite of anything that is happening outwardly. In the face of a life and death struggle, she is a living, breathing example of living from your heart.

There are many examples of people just like my friend; perhaps you are thinking of someone like her right now. How do they do it? How do they not lose heart in the face of desperate suffering? In our fast-food-society of quick fixes, how is it that some endure the long haul with such grace?

Here are just a couple of things that I see in my friend’s life that seem to make the difference for her. However, it is not a matter of things to do—it is a response from her heart. Her heart seeks:

The “light in the darkness” (2 Corinthians 4:6).

God’s promises for our suffering! (2 Corinthians 4:8-12)

The glory in suffering (2 Corinthians 4:17; Romans 8:17)

An eternal perspective (2 Corinthians 4:16-18)

When we are faced with a struggle of the heart, we are tempted to respond with our own strength or ability. We analyze, we theorize, we categorize. Our minds race to find relief from our pain. Each is in vain, if we do not engage our heart; for it is there that we willfully surrender our struggle to our Victor; the One who understands our pain and displays His glory through our sufferings (2 Corinthians 4:12b).

Reflections

Reread 2 Corinthians 4, begin this time with Verse 1 and don’t stop until the last word of verse 18. Take a moment and listen with your heart. Are you in a spiritual battle right now? What are your eyes “fixed on (v. 18)? What are you seeking? Have you engaged your heart? Let His light shine through—it’s there, He placed it in your heart “to give us the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ.” Let your heart so shine!

Written by blog/author, Published In LifeLine Devotionals, March 19, 2007

Fight or flee

As I've been reading Grandma Dawn's account (alongside Kev's posted at Twenty Eight Ceilus), I have been thinking non-stop about their journey to this weekend.

Reading about their fabulous ski-weekend, I could not help but think of the years of struggle that preceded this simple getaway. Their story of endurance, persistence, and faith has challenged my own thoughts on my innate reactions to my prodigals journey. What is my first, gut-level response when the phone rings announcing some new, chaotic, dilemma in his life? Have I really surrendered his journey to wholeness to God as I say--really, completely, once and for all--or do I take it back at every new crisis?

Don't get me wrong, I don't micro-manage every scary moment! There are the moments that I simply hide away; sometimes the crisis is just too heavy to carry. Or, more honestly, the wait of the journey becomes too burdensome, so I find myself aimlessly wandering away from the disaster, looking for a place to bury my head in the sand. Like an ostrich, however, when I bury my head in the sand, I am still exposed. As the joke suggests, when you hide your head in the sand--you only leave a larger target! (Visualize that for a second!)

I rejoiced with Dawn and her family as they spent a fabulous ski weekend together! I first "met" Dawn on May 20th, 2006. My excitement could not be contained that day as I read a comment on my blog from Dawn. I had "met" her daughter, Kristen, a couple of months earlier when Kristen began reading my blog. Believing that her mom and I would have much in common, she suggested (repeatedly) that Dawn view my blog and leave a comment! To no avail! I awaited this step of courage and was not disappointed on May 20th with Dawn's first comment. From that time on, we have been discovering that Kristen was, indeed, correct. We have traveled a similar road. I, for one, have been richly blessed in getting to know this sojourner who has traveled before me.

Her fight for her son's life is compelling. Kevin's fight for his own life is a miracle! I am so thankful and inspired by his story of deliverance. I long for the day that my own son experiences such a deliverance! Dawn and Kevin's story--the story of their entire family--inspires me to continue the fight. While my nature may tire and rely on it's instinct to flee, their story compels me to flee to the One who loves all prodigals more than we do; He loves them so much He sacrificed His own Son in our stead. What love!

Do you feel the energy, the strength, the hope, the Victory in that? It's enough for me to take my head out of the sand and look up to the One

who is waiting to help me with this fight! No doubt, these are the same hands that Dawn held tightly to as she fought the good fight!

My "get-up-and-go" is GONE!

Ever felt like this? The last few weeks (if I'm honest, maybe the last few months) my energy level has been severely depleted. I wander through my day wondering where it went and how I can get it back.

My blog surfing has energized my will to, at least, pretend it is returning. This post topped it off, however, getting to what may the root cause of my slump. For today, I will spend some time in His Word to rediscover the "clue" I am longing to rediscover. Tell me if you aren't reenergized after reading Victoria's post!?!?!

I have been reading posts about One Thousand Gifts this week as well. How can one stay flat when focusing on the many gifts we each have that we too often take for granted! One gift that I have been hiding in my heart for the past three weeks is my son's employment. I'm not sure why I didn't post immediately upon hearing his voice telling us he was HIRED; perhaps I didn't want to "jinx" this gift, perhaps I simply wanted to hold this long-awaited news, privately, near to my soul. Nonetheless, today I am thankful for my son's employment. He is working at an Arby's in Orlando, full-time, with benefits. This may not seem like any big deal to many others but let me give you the short list:

• He has secured this job on his own
• He is setting his alarm each day and getting to work on time
• He is making new friends who are also gainfully employed
• He has the opportunity to feel the independence he has so longed to feel
• Just having a job, any job, allows him to connect with his very supportive extended family--a phone call here....a phone call there...just to discuss average adult happenings. These are baby steps worth celebrating.

My blogging friends, we have much to be thankful for. Even when our spirit is not soaring, it is in the small things that our arms are supported and we can continue our praise! The small things are essential, the small things are huge; battles have been won with the support of just a few small things. Just go to Exodus 17:8-15; specifically verse 12:

"When Moses' hands grew tired, they took a stone and put it under him and he sat on it. Aaron and Hur held his hands up--one on one side, one on the other--so that his hands remained steady till sunset."

How many life-lessons can you find in this verse?

• The victory depends on allowing others into our struggle
• The victory is not dependant solely on one
• You will tire during a battle
• Even when you have to sit down during a battle, our God provides support

I am thankful for my Aaron and Hur--all of them--that have intentionally come along side my battle and provided support. I am thankful that even when my get-up-and-go is gone and I have to sit down during the battle, that God uses others to soothe my aching heart.

How my heart has already been transformed from just this knowledge! Having discovered just this one clue I have regained the energy, with the support of those I allow into my struggle, to lift my hands to the Throne of the Lord (Exodus 17:15), and wait on Him as He wages the battle with me. While my get-up-and-go may wax and wane, His strength never fails!

Thorns

Walking into my first Sexual Assault Survivors group, I didn't know what to expect. Upon the insistence of my therapist, I was entering a room filled with other women who had experienced a similar pain--one that had kept me isolated for years. As we sat nervously in a circle of chairs, the facilitator walked into the center of the circle holding a bouquet of single, red roses....one for each of us. As he handed a single red rose to each of us he said, "The beauty of a rose celebrates the beauty of life; for it persistently grows into a fragrant blossom in spite of the elements of weather, insects, and thorns. This rose celebrates your journey through the thorns."

This, my friends, was the first time I ever felt like a conqueror. Having grown up in a rage-filled, alcoholic home, and now finding myself in a SAS group, I most often felt like a victim. Could thorns actually lead me to victory?

Centuries before I sat silently in this circle of "sisters," the apostle Paul struggled with this same dilemma. Like Paul, I had petitioned God to remove my thorn. "Concerning this I implored the Lord three times that it might leave me." (2 Corinthians 12:8) A quick study of the life of Paul, you soon discover that within short order, Paul stopped pleading for the thorn to be removed and began boasting about his suffering! "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me." (v. 9 )

Like the rose, when I learned to take my focus off the prick of the thorns, I could realize the beauty of the blossom. My life was no longer defined by it's thorny experiences, it could reflect the beauty of the rose...or in the words of Paul, "the power of Christ!" Still, without the thorns, we cannot fully appreciate the beauty of the bloom! And while my SAS group was not a Christian group, God used this place to touch my soul and teach me a valuable spiritual truth; answering today's question from FaithLifts--How does Christ use those thorns to remind you of his Grace and Love?

Just as growing a beautiful fragrant rose is not an easy task, neither is fighting one's way through the thorns of life. Becoming thankful for the thorns only happens after much self-reflection and prayer. Certainly, it would take more than one post to journal through that very worthy process. And the real beauty is this, when you have felt the joy of the journey, you can proclaim with Paul, "that is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." (v. 10). There is power in weakness; there is eternal value in your suffering; when you give your thorns to God....he brings a spiritual value like no other.

When you are a victim to the falleness of this world, these are fighting words! This realization provides strength and courage to move forward. I am certain that without the thorns of my life I would not have grown in compassion, mercy, grace and love: the heart of our Lord. How do you personally use those thorns to minister to others? Interestingly enough, when taking a SHAPE analysis, these just happen to fall into my spiritual gifting! Anything I do at church or in my life, yes even the birth of this blog, is centered around these gifts. Is it possible that these life experiences helped develop my spiritual gifting? Hmm! Things that make you go......"GO GOD!"

So today it is my prayer that your life will be filled with bouquets of roses. May you know that in spite of the thorns, the beauty of this beautiful flower demonstrates the victory found in Jesus Christ.....the Rose of Sharon! (Solomon 2:1)

And I heard His reply:

Yesterday, after a week of studying prayer and the sometime silence of God, I heard His voice twice! Now before you call a Psychiatrist, let me explain; my soul was blessed by two fellow bloggers (or would it be "sister-bloggers?"

Reading through the comments from this post, my eyes filled with tears and my heart began to awaken to the sound of God's voice as Tam wrote:

I came across a book in my own home a few days ago and as I flipped through it and read a few passages I immediately thought of you...then I came here yesterday to share the book with you and your post was so poignant and addressed the very thing I was reading about...A passage:

Somebody Prays

"Somebody prays for a boy astray

Afar from home at the close of day,

Somebody loves him in spite of his sin

Would give her all to bring him in;

That somebody is mother.

Somebody's heart is filled with joy,

To meet a penitent erring boy,

To know her prayers were not in vain,

To welcome home her boy again

In spite of every sin and stain:

And that somebody is mother."

Author unknown

The book is titled simply "Mother" written by Jarrette Aycock. Published in 1945.The story is over 60 years old but still so applicable. It was written by wayward boy who finally, after years of straying and his mother praying...returned and became and evangelist.

As I sat silently, wiping the tears from my face, I soon realized that God understood how much I love my son and how much I long for his homecoming. May I be so bold to say, He used another blogger who happened upon a book in her home and happened upon a passage and happened to remember visiting my blog and happened to write a comment on my blog. Long pause............

Later, as I was checking links (via Technorati) I happened upon this generous and encouraging blogger who directed me to this amazing post! At a time when I have been struggling with my ability to believe that God may NOT answer my prayer, Ann's post was like a megaphone directly to my heart: "Yes, my child, I am with you and I have heard you."

It is only appropriate that Ann's blog is titled, Holy Experience. My holy experience yesterday was an "aha" moment: "Aha!" God is not absent, He is with me, yes, even in the dark night of my soul. It's His promise....it's His Word....He is faithful. It is when I am distracted; distracted by the circumstances of the struggle, the busy-ness of our day, the emotions of my perceived abandonment. When we make time to slow down, to search, to ask the tough questions, He breaks through our wall of our self-imposed-pity-party and makes His presence known.

Armand Nicholi has said, "We may ignore, but we cannot evade, the presence of God. The world is crowded with him. He walks everywhere incognito. And the incognito is not always easy to penetrate. The real labor is to remember to attend." This week, as I have been studying prayer and it's significance, I have subconsciously "remembered to attend." It is no surprise that God intentionally made his presence known!

Still, the hair on my arms is dancing and I have God-bumps! God's presence is real in the "world," and the blogosphere, "is crowded with him!" He is waiting to join us as we seek communion with Him. We must, only, remember to 'attend.'

Listen for His reply to you...today. And click on over to Holy Experience to share Ann's joy! Give her brother a warm "welcome to God's family." 'Attend' the celebration for "John Boy" and then, take a long pause, wait for His reply to you this day. He longs to be in communion with His children. I look forward to reading your report of attending to the Presence of God!

Dark night of my soul

I am reading Philip Yancey's new book, Prayer, Does It Make Any Difference. I have learned that when I read a Philip Yancey book, I am nourished, I am enriched, I am blessed. Because I have been struggling with the duration of the wait as I pray for our prodigals, this book caught my eye as I walked through the book store yesterday afternoon.

Emily Dickinson has captured the very place I find myself:

There comes an hour when begging stops

When the long interceding lips

Perceive their prayer is in vain.

Now, it is not my intent to be blasphemous, in keeping with the desire to be completely honest, I am desperate for a break in the silence. Family and friends encourage, family and friends support me in prayer. Still, the years of struggle weaken my spirit. Has this happened to you?

In a chapter entitled, The Sound of Silence, Yancey suggests that we Touch the Void. While many people believe that if your faith is strong enough your prayer will be answered, I have discovered that even Jesus begged "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?"
Furthermore, the Psalmist wrote:

How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever?

How long will you hide your face from me?

How long must I wrestle with my thoughts

and every day have sorrow in my heart?

But if I go to the east, he is not there;

if I go to the west, I do not find him.

When he is at work in the north, I do not see him;

when he turns to the south, I catch no glimpse of him.

O my God, I cry out by day, but you do not answer,

by night, and am not silent.

...my foes taunt me,

saying to me all day long,

"Where is your God?'

I spread out my hands to you;

my soul thirsts for you like a parched land.

I am not alone in my lamenting.

Yancey goes on to offer Survival Strategies for this unavoidable "season of dryness." Quoting Teresa of Avila, Yancey reminds me that "God is not really silent, we are deaf. My job is to remain vigilant like a sentry on duty, straining to hear the sounds of the night as well as the first signs of dawn." This is not a quick and simple answer to a long and difficult struggle. This is a process of growth. Yancey challenges me to ask the question, what is the purpose of my prayers? Do I desperately call out to God to hear my plea? Or do I pray to be in communion with Him?

Ouch! Communion? I am here to confess, my prayers are about gratitude, my prayers are about worship, my prayers are about petition; but communion? Regarding this kind of prayer, Dietrich Bonhoeffer wrote, "Seek God, not happiness--this is the fundamental rule of all meditation. If you seek God alone, you will happiness: that is its promise." Have I been chasing God, merely, for my own satisfaction? Or do I chase God to be in communion with Him? The difference in my answer leads me out of my season of dryness. The difference in my answer sheds light on the dark night of my soul.

"Touching the void"-- not abandoning the effort, rather, looking at the silence full face; with the Psalmist saying, "I spread out my hands to you!" Instead of hiding away from God, claiming disappointment in His silence, we may enter communion with Him, guaranteeing satisfaction! James 4:8 affirms, "Come near to God and he will come near to you!"

Philip Yancey asks, "Do you seek only answers or will you seek communion?" Perhaps, this is the same question that God is asking today!

Train for Life

“Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.” Proverbs 22:6

I have friends who have been exceptional parents. They did everything in their power to train and serve their children. One of their sons knew from an early age that he was going to try drugs and when he did his life began a dramatic tumble downward that continues to this day. Proverbs 22:6 is an often quoted verse, but also can be one of the most painful statements in the Bible.

Unfortunately, part of the problem is our inappropriate interpretation of this verse. Lots of people will quote this verse as a promise, almost a contractual agreement. This means if they train their child in the right way, then their child’s life will turn out well. So what do you do with a child in rebellion or addiction or who has turned away from God? Lots of parents suffer in silent agony blaming themselves.

This is an inappropriate interpretation of the Book of Proverbs. Proverbs is one of two wisdom books in the Old Testament. Proverbs gives general principles, but not specific promises. So in general a child trained in godly ways is going to end up following after God. But there are exceptions both ways. I have known parents who never trained their children spiritually and yet their kids have become spiritual leaders. I have also known really good parents who have struggled with kids in rebellion. The key point of the verse is we should do everything we can to provide good training for our kids. But don’t use this verse to blame yourself or criticize someone else.

Another important part of the verse is the phrase “when he is old.” Often kids who are rebellious turn around later in life. This is true of even famous leaders. Franklin Graham tells the story of drinking whiskey racing across the desert with no purpose or direction to his life. Yet, God turned his life around and now he leads the Billy Graham Association. But again, this isn’t a promise only a general principle.

Reflections

So what should we do? First, we should all do everything we can to encourage and help parents and avoid comparing our children. We also should be humble enough to admit when we need help and get the assistance that will help us be better parents. Most importantly we need to learn to pray for our kids and trust God to be their ultimate parent.

Today’s Life Line devotional was written by Paul Johnson

Soul Awakening

An interesting thing happened to me this morning as I was driving home from dropping my son off for his 2nd day of High School. My spirit was awakened as I listened to a Natalie Grant song, Held.

HELD

Two months is too little.

They let him go.

They had no sudden healing.

To think that providence would

Take a child from his mother while she prays

Is appalling.

Who told us we'd be rescued?

What has changed and why should we be saved from nightmares?

We're asking why this happens

To us who have died to live?

It's unfair.

Chorus: This is what it means to be held.

How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life

And you survive.

This is what it is to be loved.

And to know that the promise was

When everything fell we'd be held.

This hand is bitterness.

We want to taste it, let the hatred know our sorrow.

The wise hands opens slowly to lilies of the valley and tomorrow.

(Chorus) This is what it means to be held.

How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life

And you survive.

This is what it is to be loved.

And to know that the promise was

When everything fell we'd be held.

Bridge: If hope is born of suffering.

If this is only the beginning.

Can we not wait for one hour watching for our Savior?

(Chorus) This is what it means to be held.

How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life

And you survive.

This is what it is to be loved.

And to know that the promise was

When everything fell we'd be held.

For some time now, I have been standing in the gap for my prodigal. You know the routine, every waking moment you are praying, reading God's Word, relying on God's faithfulness and character when you are unable to lean on your own understanding. Until this morning, I didn't realize that the duration of this battle has caused a numbness of my soul. In a very real sense, I have been operating on auto-pilot. Suddenly, and without anticipation, the beautiful lyrics and melody of this song stirred my Soul! You see, when you are standing in the gap for a loved one, you begin to realize that you are often standing on that wall, a moving target for the enemy, and while the wait is long, your senses become dulled by the constant attacks and noise of the battle. While it is important to remain obedient in our plea, I have missed the soul stirring emotion of being "held."

To feel; when your child is walking on a dangerous path, it is natural to turn off your feelings--they are too dangerous to accept. However, when we turn off our feelings, when we shut down, we cheat ourselves of feeling the comfort that only God provides in our sorrow. When our focus is solely on the answer to our desperate prayer, we put God in a box and stand outside of that box in the cold; standing solidly in the war zone of fear, of anxiety, of self-directed manipulation.

What fears and anxieties cause my feelings to shut down? Am I afraid of God's answer? Do I trust His will for the life of my son? What is so scary that, in my humanness, I wrap my armor so tightly around my heart that I cannot feel the loving comfort of my Savior holding me?

It is no coincidence that when I came home from my daily school drive that I opened my Life Line Devotional and discovered this devotional.

The Reach of His Love

When we choose life, we choose God’s love to abound in us. But what is the reach of God’s love? Here are some examples, straight out of the Bible. Breathe these into your heart. Wear these words like armor. Treasure these truths.


How Far? “As far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.” Psalm 103:12


How Wide?
How Long?
How High?
How Deep?

“And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ…” Ephesians 3:17b-18

How Much?

“…and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.” Ephesians 3:19

How
Steadfast?

“But as for me, I will enter Your house through the abundance of Your steadfast love and mercy; I will worship toward and at Your holy temple in reverent fear and awe of You.” Psalm 5:7

How
Powerful?

“The Son is the radiance of God's glory and the exact representation of his being, sustaining all things by his powerful word. After he had provided purification for sins, he sat down at the right hand of the Majesty in heaven.” Hebrews 1:3

How
Faithful?

“For the word of the Lord is right and true, he is faithful in all he does.” Psalm 33:4

How
Beautiful?

“He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end.” Ecclesiastes 3:11

The ultimate example of God’s far-reaching love for us is found in John 3:16, “For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” Now, that is far reaching love!

Reflections

If we choose life, we choose God’s promises. What keeps us from choosing life on a daily basis? What steps can we take to fully receive and understand the far-reaching love of our Lord?
Today’s devotional was written by Janie Plante

You see, even when I hide, even though I shut down, no matter how long we operate on auto-pilot--our God is faithful to love us. My choice today is to rest in His promise: His promise of comfort and His assurance of the Victory that will be won--no matter what my performance on that wall. I simply need to remain standing, and when I fall, He has promised to hold me!

Today, focus with me on how it feels to be held in the arms of the One who loves you! Let Him comfort you, let your Spririt be stirred to abundance as He loves you through the battle. Even in the midst of the struggle--let your Spirit soar! Be held!

We're in a battle here folks!

Returning once again to the theme of my blog--Standing in the gap for a wayward loved one. I sit at my computer this morning, recovering from a gut-punch. You know the kind of punch--the punch that, although history proves you should expect it, your breath is knocked away, nonetheless. My prodigal has been fired from his job.

We are long past asking the "why" questions: why did this have to happen? Why can't he keep a job? Why! Why! Why! We know the answers.

In this journey, we are long past the road signs that say, "Travel with caution"--we have been treading through life waiting for the next IED to blow for some time now. We dart, we weave, we wear our protective gear; and still, we get hit. Standing in the gap for someone is dangerous work! We are fighting so much more than 'flesh and blood':

"Finally, be strong in the Lord and his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith with which you can extinguish all the falming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kind s of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints." Ephesians 6: 10-18

We should expect the battle of life. God has prepared our armor and we would be fools to not wear it! In text, that may translate a little coarse for most--but in the midst of my battle--it is the truth. It is the first weapon in spiritual warfare: God's Truth (His Word) (verse 14).

Protecting our vulnerable and vital mid-section, we are given the breastplate of righteousness. My breath returns slowly, thankful that I need not count on my own doing--I am protected by the righteousness of Jesus. His righteousness is stronger than any sword, dart or arrow the enemy can throw. His work at the Cross is evidence of that!

We are like a soldier in this battle. What soldier would go into battle without his shoes (well, what soldier since the day of George Washington's battles?). Our feet are fitted with the good news of His gospel. This is the only thing that will provide the peace and comfort we so desperately long for while in the midst of the battle.

Our shield of faith is a defensive weapon. How cool is that-my faith in Jesus will protect me and thwart off any impeding missles of the enemy! It is an active protection while I stand in the gap during this warfare. I don't have to waste any precious energy thinking of ways to defend myself--that battle has already been won.

Finally, as any mother of a motorcycle-riding-son would say--"Don't leave home without your helmet!" The helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit: God's spoken Word! Our Christian thinking is protected by His Salvation. We are to keep our mind on eternity--resting in the fact that the battle has already been won. God's spoken Word is our weapon of offense and defense! When I am in the Word, I am reminded that He is with me and has promised victory. When the enemy hears God's Word--he too is fully aware of my General's power!

For me, this gut-punch is a reminder that I may not have been wearing my armor sufficiently. I have discovered that while standing in the gap--we are like a moving target for the enemy. It is vital that we are fully guarded with the armor of God in our journey.

What does this mean personally for me? I must be in prayer and in His Word! Maybe this means I will do less blog-surfing and more God-searching. Maybe this means while I am praying a protective spirit over my prodigal--I will, also, begin to pray God's protective promise over his prayer warriors!

While we may think we know the answers to the why's....without a doubt, we KNOW the WHO of who is going to win this battle. How do you apply His armor daily? As you stand in the gap--are you fitted with the protection of His armor? THIS soldier is a little weary; yet, our LORD's faithfulness never fails. In my weakness--may the enemy see God's strength!

The meaning of success

“Give generously to [your needy brother] and do so without a grudging heart; then because of this the LORD your God will bless you in all your work and in everything you put your hand to.” Deuteronomy 15:10


God's Way of Success

I have been needy. And I have lived abundantly. However, between that first sentence and the second, there were paragraphs, no—chapters of people who stepped into my life and donated time, talent, and resources so that I might experience abundance.

When I was needy, I felt guilty. Not only was I ashamed of my circumstances, I felt guilty for the help. Little did I know, in His provision, God was not only loving me, He was rewarding those who were compassionately being obedient to his command. Isn’t God perfectly wondrous? God’s way; to “give generously and without a grudging heart” allows his compassion to flow to all people of the land. Isn’t that amazing? Not only are the poor cared for, but those who generously give will be rewarded by God (verse 10b).

As Director of Care Ministries at Woodridge, I have experienced first hand knowledge of people opening their hands and their hearts to those in need. Partnering with Interfaith Outreach both at Christmastime and the April Food Drive, Home Meals delivered to hospitalized or grieving families, furniture and gift card donations to Hurricane Relief families, and numerous trips to New Orleans to help rebuild lives and homes represent just a few of the ways that individuals at Woodridge have met the needs of others this past year. You have each demonstrated God’s definition of success in 2006. As Christians, as needy people who have been helped, we must make a difference in the lives of all needy people in our land. God holds special concern for the needy and the poor; to be used by God, in His providential care of the poor, is a blessing.

I have discovered it is not only a blessing; it is a miracle that in spite of our frailty, God intervenes on behalf of those he loves. This success does not require us to be perfect, just available. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “To leave the world a little better; whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is the meaning of success.”

Reflections

How do you define success? How closely does it align with Deuteronomy 15: 7-11? Loosen any “hard-hearted[ness] or tight-fisted[ness]” (v. 7); prayerfully refine your idea of success. Let God bless you as you become “openhanded” (v. 11) and open-hearted to how God wants to use you today.

*from Lifeline Devotional, August 23, 2006, written by Diane Viere

PERSPECTIVE

I left the cabin yesterday morning to return home for 36 hours. Interesting what six weeks away welcomes you home to! Actually, hubby and 2nd born have kept the house reasonably clean, however, with each step across the floors, I saw the full-grown "dust bunnies" hopping! So after a thorough vacuuming and sweeping, I felt safe again to walk barefoot through my home!

I returned home to sit in on a Doctor's appointment with my son. If you remember this post, you will recall why I was motivated to leave the calm of our lake place and race the 120 miles home for this long awaited August 2nd appointment. With the exception of the tire sensor in my car relentlessly blinking at me, telling me I had a flat tire, the early morning trip home was uneventful. (Yes, I did take the car to the dealership, at which time they checked my four, fully inflated tires, checked the air pressure, and discovered that when I added air to the front, passenger side tire before leaving, I caused an imbalance of air pressure--triggering the sensor to report--telling me that something was amiss with my tires. Good grief! Why did I think I was mechanical?!?!?

The meeting between my adult son and the Psychiatrist was well-on it's way by the time I arrived. Entering the room, the Dr. looked at me like I was an intruding guest. Seems that when your child is an adult, medical personnel must treat you like your heart doesn't have any ongoing rights to your child's medical condition. Hmph! I understand privacy issues, but I'm his MOM! Actually, the Dr. actually engaged with me in a 15 minute conversation, and when I was escorted from the room, I felt I had communicated what I had hoped to share.

Leaving the Dr.'s office and heading directly to the car dealership, I thought of the many times we had been in the place before: on the doorstoop of a real answer to Curt's dilemma. I could feel real angst at the core of my soul; did the Dr. understand our need for Curt's struggle to end? Could he feel the urgency? Would he prescribe the right med's? Could he see through the chaos of Curt's life to find the underlying problem that daily, fuels the pandamonium of Curt's life? Had he heard how much we love our son and how unacceptable this pain is to us?

After a day of scheduled errands, including going to my stylist and having her fix God's one and only mistake--not creating me a REAL blonde--I returned home last night at 10:30 p.m. following a business meeting/dinner. It had been a full day; while the answers of life were not necesarily found within this 12 hour period, I was at peace, for this may be the first day of a new beginning.

Because we are loved by our Creator, isn't that what we should experience each day--newness? How had I forgotten; not just remembered, but really rested in the promise we have as children of God, that "Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is [His] faithfulness. Lamentations 3: 22-23. How can I remain consumed by the trials that surround, when He is faithfully renewing His love for me, for you, for my son, each and every morning! His compassion never runs out. It is never out of balance! It does not require just the right dosage of prescribed medicine. It is new every moring!

Someone has said that the definition of crazy is "doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." Do you do that? I DO! For this day, I am going to shake it up a bit! I'm changing my age-old perspective. I will lift my eyes from the looming darkness of this world, and I will focus on the love of our God, who renews his compassion each and every morning! Imagine, intentionally waking each morning and before your feet hit the floor, you would proclaim, "I am stepping into God's renewed love for me this day!" How have I been focusing on anything else! It seems that Marcel Proust was onto something when he said, "The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes."

Curt is now on a new program of medicines and will be seeing a therapist weekly before his next appointment with the Psychiatrist in six weeks. With my new perspective, I am going to share with him my new set of eyes. I fear I have been modeling treading lightly; unsure of every step, waiting for the next shoe to drop! From this moment on, I want to walk in confidence, stepping boldly into God's love. For no matter what happens, we have a fresh start, a new beginning each morning.

It is my prayer that not only will my son see the difference, he will experience this renewal. I also pray, that if your landscape has been clouded, you will see with new eyes, this day and every day forward, that as you awake, God's love is fresh, renewed, and faithfully waiting for you to discover the real voyage of discovery; a jouney not to overcome, but to triumph!

Make it a new-perspective-kind-of day! Enjoy!

Tuesday's Treasure

Today's Treasure: Singing!

“Speak to one another with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs. Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord.” Ephesians 5:19

With the birth of each of our children, my heart was overflowing with gratitude to God for such amazing gifts. Looking into their newborn faces, I cried as I quietly hummed, “How (truly) Great Thou Art.”

Following a middle-of-the-night phone call, I raced to the hospital to join our son who had fallen ill. Feeling despair as I drove into the emptiness of the night, I turned on KTIS, where I heard the song, “Somebody’s Praying Me Through.” My heart was immediately comforted and I felt his peace. I was no longer alone.

Whenever I am exhausted as I stand in the gap for my loved ones, I turn the volume up on my favorite CD by The Martins. While harmonizing with them, I soon become reenergized with a strength not of my own:

Standing on the promises I cannot fall,
Listening every moment to the Spirit’s call,
Resting in my Savior as my all in all,
Standing on the promises of God.

At a time when my self-esteem had been wounded and I seriously questioned my worth, God spoke to me with Psalm 139. “How precious are your thoughts about me, O God! They are innumerable! I can't even count them; they outnumber the grains of sand! And when I wake up in the morning, you are still with me!" How amazing is my Creator—he knows me—he thinks of me—and he tells me I am his own! What worth!

Our daughter was married on August 13, 2005; what a wonderful day it was. Throughout the day, I had to stop myself from singing out loud; my heart was overflowing with happiness. Bursting with joy, a praise song from my youth came to mind and I silently sang the refrain:

Praise the Lord, Praise the Lord, let the earth hear his voice
Praise the Lord, Praise the Lord, let the people rejoice
Oh come to Father, through Jesus the Son
And give Him the glory, great things He has done!

Reflection: Listen for Jesus in your life today. Let these lyrics be your guide:

I come to the garden alone, While the dew is still on the roses

And the voice I hear, falling on my ear, The Son of God discloses,
And He walks with me, And He talks with me, And He tells me I am His own
And the joy we share as we tarry there
None other has ever known

**From March 29, 2006 Lifeline Devotional

WORKS FOR ME WEDNESDAY

Waking with the sound of my cell phone alarm at 7:22 a.m., I pull myself from the supine position and ready my mind for another Wednesday's with Beth. Wiping the sleep from my eyes and taking a deep cleansing breath; I am ready to be refreshed, encouraged, and fired up!

Psalm 139:16-18 (NLT)
16 You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.
17 How precious are your thoughts about me,[a] O God! They are innumerable!
18 I can't even count them; they outnumber the grains of sand! And when I wake up in the morning, you are still with me!

As I stumble out of my slumber--God is waiting for me! He is waiting to walk with me through another appointed day; filled with a very specific plan to fulfill a divine purpose. Is that enough to make your heart jump! Are you awake yet!

Beth's first point this morning is this: God has a highly personal and very specific plan and purpose for your life. Take a look at Acts 13:36 and Acts 17: 26. It is clear from these verses, you have a very specific placement in your generation, at this very time and this very place. You have been called to serve God's purpose in your generation; it is Beth's second point--perfectly timed!

You have been created with your unique personality and gifted with your very special gifting, for this set time, in this place, in your generation. Not your Grandmother's generation, not your parent's generation....but yours. You have purpose: exactly at this time frame at this exact place and hour. Is that significant enough to make you sit up in your chair (or bed as is my case!)

What significance! What relevance! Beth proclaims, we are meant to be relevant. "God intends for you to bring something that is relevant to this generation." To be a relevant Christian means we are in touch enough with the world without the world getting all over us. Hmmmm! Told you we were going to have to be fully awake for Beth!

She says, "If Christianity is a narrow way, relevant Christianity is like walking a tight rope. A tight rope between carnality and hyperspirituality." This is tough stuff so early on a Wednesday morning. What is hyperspirituality? John 5: 36-40 explains. While we may diligently study the Word of God, if we do not have a single Word of it in us--if we do not live them out with love--we do not testify to His Love. To walk this tight rope of relevance, we must live on purpose. This is hard work. Beth's challenge today is worthy: Make Hard Matter!

So get your running shoes on with me as we make this day count. If you have ever thought to yourself, "I am just a stay-at-home mom, I am just a speck in this world," redefine yourself this day. You have divine purpose, God has a plan just for you! And He doesn't just drop you in it and leave; his thoughts for you are "innumerable!" Does this energize your day as it has mine? I can't wait to see the plan unfold! A divine purpose works for me! Mundane, you say? Chaotic, you quip? Boring, you sigh? No, my life, your life, has a purpose! Whatever our day entails, whatever happens moment by moment, let's make it matter! Walk within the divine plan God has purposed for your....for this very time! There is glory in His plan--it's inescapable...for where God is--there is Glory! As you walk the tight rope of relevance, stay focused on that glorious purpose; avoid the pitfalls of the enemies scheme (Ephesians 6: 10-12). God's plan is better any day!

Tuesday's Treasure:

Unanswered Prayers?

I am a student of words. I believe in their power; they are descriptive, they are inspirational, they are enduring. Whenever I discover meaningful quotes, I copy them to my journal. Every book I own has been highlighted, earmarked, or paper clipped for easy access should I want to revisit a meaningful passage. I have been comforted, challenged, and convicted many times throughout my life solely by the printed word.

Yet, it is within the living breathing Word of God, that I have found my greatest sustenance. My most deeply cherished possession is my Grandmother’s Bible. The pages are yellowed and the edges are frayed, yet, it remains alive with soul nourishment. Her handwritten notes are fading but the truth of their message continually speaks.

Next to 2 Corinthians 12: 8-10, she wrote Morning, June 27, 1948--Brother Gottwald, having underlined verse 9. This verse held special meaning to my Grandma. Even though she died when I was only 10, I continue to learn about this cherished loved one by reading her Bible. “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”

After wondering what my Grandma’s thorn may have been, I continued on to read the underscored verse: “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” She did not list her thorn; she left a greater message--her strength was found in Jesus.

I draw great comfort from these words; for over the decades, I have repeatedly (more than three times!) petitioned God to remove my “thorn.” This thorn has tormented me since I was 15 years old. I have sought every kind of medical treatment, have been prayed over, and have believed that God would take my pain away. Yet, I continue to struggle with its pervasiveness.

For centuries, Bible commentators have only speculated what Paul’s thorn may have been. Isn’t Paul brilliant! Instead of identifying his weakness, he points us to Jesus--his strength. Perhaps he knew, that had he identified his struggle, believers of his day would have become distracted and responded with remedies or cures. Paul wanted our focus to be on his “weaknesses” (vs. 9b) because it is there that we find Jesus. This truth is relevant, whether in A.D. 55, 1948 or 2006.

Reflection: Where do you look when you are suffering? Do you set your eyes on the struggle only? How are you distracted? Within your own unanswered prayers, look for Jesus. Find his strength in your weakness. Let him sustain you, giving real purpose to your pain. Highlight 2 Corinthians 12: 9 and pencil in the words of Bible Commentator, Ray Stedman nearby: “The weaker you are, the stronger Christ can be.”

Underside of a Quilt

“…so Saul took his own sword and fell on it.” I Samuel 31:4b

According to my NIV Bible Study notes for verse 4, this is “the culmination of a long process of self-destruction.” In I Samuel, we have seen that Saul was chosen to be the Lord’s instrument to rule over his people. In spite of Saul’s anointing, he was unwilling to submit to the requirements that came along with his appointment and was eventually rejected by God. In I Samuel 31:1-6, we read how Saul ended his self-destructive life, by falling on his own sword. How did Saul’s life unravel in such a tragic way?

Time and time again, we have seen how Saul was blinded by a self-focused life, making him unable to submit to God’s perspective. There have been times in my life that I have questioned God’s perspective: times of emotional pain, times of physical loss and times I just could not understand why. And there have been those tragic times that I have been blinded by such a narrow self-focus that like Saul, I have become a rebellious child of God.

How can our vision be so distorted that we so easily miss the mark (or God’s standard)? Charles Colson uses the metaphor of a quilt to help define this human dilemma, illustrating the looming difference between God’s view/perspective and our own. Imagine with me for a moment that there is a beautiful quilt covering our world. God sees the top of the quilt: beautifully crafted with brilliant colors and an intricate, well-planned design. Our view is the underside of the quilt which shows tangled knots, frayed threads, and a confusing inverted blueprint. Using this metaphor, do you agree that relying solely on our distorted perspective is unwise?

What a sad ending to a life of potential. Because I am at the midpoint of my life, I have begun to think a lot about legacies. Questions like, “what do I want my life statement(s) to be” are daily considerations. After studying the life and death of Saul, I can now adopt a life statement that might look something like this: It is better to lean on God’s understanding than to fall on my own sword.

Reflections

What trials cause you to become rebellious? When faced with depression, anxiety, life losses and heart aches, do not lean on your own understanding—practice obedience. Trust God, read his Word, talk to him, lift your focus from the tattered underside of the quilt and look to Him…trust his perspective and his design for your life.

Today’s devotional was written by Diane Viere

*from Life Line Devotionals

WORKS FOR WEDNESDAY

I set my cell-phone alarm clock for 7:22 a.m. so I would not miss Wednesday's with Beth on James Robison's, Life Today. As it turned out, setting the alarm was not necessary as the family of Loons swimming nearby lulled me out of my slumber at 6:45 a.m! Just enough time to get up, wash my face, brush my teeth, brew a pot of coffee and get pen and paper in hand for today's topic: The Law of the Harvest.

Good thing I had my first sips of coffee because Beth began her teaching by challenging the audience, "Do you really believe God's Word? Or do you just read it, study it, be blessed by it? Do you sow the Word into your reality?" Picking myself up out of a prone position and propping the pillows behind my back, I sat up knowing I would not be able to view this laying down!

"Sow the Word into my reality?" What does that look like? In our season of tears, season of deep sadness and sorrow, do we really believe what God's Word promises or do we just know what it says and expect His guarantee of the Harvest? Beth suggests: "The harder the test; the broader the effects of that past test--the bigger the ramifications. If God allows you to go through a deeply sorrowful time, when you sow the seeds through a time of tears something huge is on the other side--there is G.L.O.R.Y. at stake! Our entire line is going to be marked by our faithfulness." Phew! There's motivation to be obedient and sow the Seed! Not only are we guaranteed that God will walk through our sorrow with us; future generations will be marked by our faithfulness.

This sowing means that while the seed will never die, the sower (that's you and me) must die a little. For me this means, I must trust God's promises for my prodigal and release my right to----anxiety, unforgiveness, fear, unbelief--my right to be mad! If I truly believe what God's Word says, I must dig deep, plant the seed, and wait for the Harvest. I must not fertilize that seed with doubt, fear, unbelief or destructive behaviors. I must wait for the Harvest. The Harvest is not a fast food harvest--it comes up with just the tiniest of green and begins to grow into a full harvest of JOY!

I have said repeatedly on this blog, my son's journey is moving forward in baby steps. At times, this frustrates me! I want his growth to be steady and growing in leaps and bounds. There I go again, expecting the Harvest to be McDonald's style: Super-sized and fast! This is the part of THIS sower that must die....to guarantee the seed will grow into a full harvest, I must stop throwing weeds into the Harvest! What examples can you think of where you have not died for the Harvest?

For me, I struggle dying to my timing. I want my son's miracle NOW! Yet, when I listen to what Beth has told us this Works for Me Wednesday, I am inspired to die to my impatience. For, there is "Glory at stake."

What miracle are you waiting for? Is your desire so significant that you are willing to set aside your expectations and rely totally on God's guarantee for the Harvest? Are we willing to give up our right to micro-manage, to be mad, to be unforgiving; or are we going to, by faith, die to ourselves and be guaranteed the Harvest? Sounds like a no-brainer doesn't it? But it is hard work! Maybe this post should have been under "Tackle it Tuesday!" For it is hard work! I could post a before picture.....
This is me, struggling with my inability to give up my rights! I'm micro-managing the Harvest, I'm causing the weeds of unbelief, unforgiveness, and impatience to grow along side the precious little seedlings.
The after photo would look something like this! Now, isn't this a little better for Works for Me Wednesday??? When we plant the seeds of our Harvest, we must release them to God who guarantees the Harvest. When we "go out weeping, carrying [our] seed to sow, [we] will return with songs of joy, carrying sheaves [of joy with us!]" Praise the Lord....and pass the G.L.O.R.Y!

“Does it make any difference son—that I love you?”

This was my heartfelt plea as I sat in a Doctor’s office yesterday afternoon, trying to comfort my adult son as he cried uncontrollably into the palm of his hands. Mood disorder; barely three syllables long, yet, the ramifications of a manic episode could take days to describe.

As a little boy, whenever he couldn’t sleep, my son would crawl into our bed, cozy in between his Dad and me, and announce with certainty that he would fall asleep if only, “Mommy would just rub my back!” Each time he awoke from a childhood nightmare, this routine occurred and, he was right; it always worked! This day, as I sat next to my 6’4” son, I touched his back and began to rub lightly. I no longer felt the soothing connection, the warmth you feel in your gut when you know—you can make it all better. I can’t, I keep trying, but this is bigger than any childhood nightmare. Somehow, my son knows this as well. He didn’t lift his head from his hands, he didn’t relax; his shoulders just sagged in defeat as he continued shaking from the relentless emotion he was releasing.

“Son, I love you. We are here for you. We are proud of how you are working through this.” In times past, a manic episode would entail self-medicating, rages, and a rapid-fire, chaotic down-ward spiral. By the time we sat in the patient room this day, we had endured 6 days of mind racing, anxiety attacks, sleepless nights, and paranoid thinking. At each angst filled moment, our son had come to us for help. This engagement is a welcome relief; different from times past.

“Mom, I just…….can’t……..do……..this…….any……more!” he sobbed in between gasps. It reminded me of a time when he was 10-years-old and his school classmates relentlessly teased him day after day. You see, my son has Tourette’s Syndrome; and the 4th grade children did not understand his uncontrollable ticks. Driving home from school in our mini-van one day, my son asked me, “Mommy—would it hurt a 10 year old boy to die?” It was my time to gasp. When someone’s life feels desperately out of control, the desire to live is diminished.

“Son, you are doing this. You have taken control of this; you chose to see a Doctor today. You have decided to do exactly what is needed. You are incredibly strong son—and I know you can do this. We will help you; you can count on us. You don’t have to endure this alone. Does it help you to know, at all, that I love you?”

His only response was to sob. As the Doctor arrived, we began to review what brought my son to this point. It was then that I realized how far we had truly come. I remembered the times before that my son had not turned towards us when he was in pain; instead, he delved further into the distant land that all prodigals roam. I remembered the countless times he disregarded our offers to help. I remembered the times he angrily announced that he didn’t need, nor did he ever want to be like, us. This day, he sat quietly next to me as we discussed with the Doctor what direction to go. It was at this moment that I was given a gift of thought, an “Aha! Moment” if you will. It was a gentle whisper, “Your son is heading in the right direction. You are his mother; he is finding his way back home to you…and to me!”

Stomp your feet, clap your hands, sound the trumpets! Yes! A mother’s love—a father’s love, does make a difference! And the love of our Heavenly Father—empowers us and is ever present: “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage. Do not be afraid nor be dismayed for the LORD your God, is with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9

This kind of love has eternal value! His love makes a difference; I find rest in it each day. Oh, that my son, and all prodigals, could find their way home to His life transforming love!