Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Fight or flee

As I've been reading Grandma Dawn's account (alongside Kev's posted at Twenty Eight Ceilus), I have been thinking non-stop about their journey to this weekend.

Reading about their fabulous ski-weekend, I could not help but think of the years of struggle that preceded this simple getaway. Their story of endurance, persistence, and faith has challenged my own thoughts on my innate reactions to my prodigals journey. What is my first, gut-level response when the phone rings announcing some new, chaotic, dilemma in his life? Have I really surrendered his journey to wholeness to God as I say--really, completely, once and for all--or do I take it back at every new crisis?

Don't get me wrong, I don't micro-manage every scary moment! There are the moments that I simply hide away; sometimes the crisis is just too heavy to carry. Or, more honestly, the wait of the journey becomes too burdensome, so I find myself aimlessly wandering away from the disaster, looking for a place to bury my head in the sand. Like an ostrich, however, when I bury my head in the sand, I am still exposed. As the joke suggests, when you hide your head in the sand--you only leave a larger target! (Visualize that for a second!)

I rejoiced with Dawn and her family as they spent a fabulous ski weekend together! I first "met" Dawn on May 20th, 2006. My excitement could not be contained that day as I read a comment on my blog from Dawn. I had "met" her daughter, Kristen, a couple of months earlier when Kristen began reading my blog. Believing that her mom and I would have much in common, she suggested (repeatedly) that Dawn view my blog and leave a comment! To no avail! I awaited this step of courage and was not disappointed on May 20th with Dawn's first comment. From that time on, we have been discovering that Kristen was, indeed, correct. We have traveled a similar road. I, for one, have been richly blessed in getting to know this sojourner who has traveled before me.

Her fight for her son's life is compelling. Kevin's fight for his own life is a miracle! I am so thankful and inspired by his story of deliverance. I long for the day that my own son experiences such a deliverance! Dawn and Kevin's story--the story of their entire family--inspires me to continue the fight. While my nature may tire and rely on it's instinct to flee, their story compels me to flee to the One who loves all prodigals more than we do; He loves them so much He sacrificed His own Son in our stead. What love!

Do you feel the energy, the strength, the hope, the Victory in that? It's enough for me to take my head out of the sand and look up to the One
who is waiting to help me with this fight! No doubt, these are the same hands that Dawn held tightly to as she fought the good fight!


Morning Glory said...

Diane, these journeys are so individual and the help from God is tailored to those needs. Your love as a mother and as a prayer warrior for your son are so beautiful. We've been down a similar road, and I know how hard it is to release the child. But I firmly believe that as long as there is breath in his body, there is hope for deliverance and redemption.

Blessing and prayers as you continue to walk this road.

Linda said...

I think there is no greater miracle than that of a changed life. I saw it happen miraculously for my husband, and I am rejoicing with Dawn and Kevin as they tell us about their miracle of recovery and grace.
How could I ever doubt when I see the evidence of God's love and grace and mercy in the lives of others. It is a wonderful story - as is yours.

Jada's Gigi said...

God knows these kids rack our hearts...let us continually give them over to the one who does indeed love them more than we ever could. Thanks for stopping by my place...nice to visit you again...its been a while...

Dawn said...

Oh, Diane, you have me in tears. Believe me, I have been where you are so many times. I have wanted to run away and never come back. I have been angry, sad, angry, sad, up, down, all around. In total denial, head in the sand for sure. God is good! Kevin is 30 today and we started this journey so many years before we even knew it. That's why I dug out those pictures of such happy times with our little towheads. We are creating new memories, we have good old memories, and giving the ones in between to the Lord! I have cried so many tears, felt like such a failure. I cherish this cyber friendship and look forward to the day that we meet IRL! I know that many people are praying for Curt. God is a God of miracles and restoration. Don't give up hope. Ever.