Friday, March 14, 2008

On this last day of the Ultimate Blogging Party... a repeat of an earlier post, for although this blog-hopping is incredibly fun and and making new friends is tremendously worthwhile, I have dedicated this last day of the Party to the mission of my blog:  connecting, supporting, encouraging and praying with other families who love a Prodigal.  

Love....on its knees

Often (who am I kidding--always!), when we love a Prodigal, it feels like there is simply nothing we can do to help them. We are told to practice "tough love"--to let them hit rock bottom--that it's the onlyway they will learn. I don't know about you, but as a mother, it is nearly impossible to DO nothing. It was hard for me to learn that although I was able to help my son as a little boy when he scuffed his knees, tumbled off his skateboard, or lost his favorite bat; as an adult child, I am no longer able to kiss him and make it all better. Hard, this was devastating. What was once was a cherished interaction with my son, was now being called enmeshment. By trying to make my son's life better, I was crossing all boundaries and was challenged to release that controlling nature. Controlling? I thought I was helping!

It is the hardest thing I have ever had to do: surrender my desire for my son's well-being. That is, until I remembered where or who I could surrender that desire to.

When a mother prays for her wayward son,
No words can make clear the vivid reality of her supplications…
She does not really think that she is persuading God to be good to her son,
For the courage of her prayer is due to her certain faith
That God also must wish that boy to be recovered from his sin.
She rather is taking on her heart the same burden that God has on his;
Is joining her demand with the divine desire.
In this system of personal life which makes up the moral universe,
She is taking her place alongside God
In an urgent, creative outpouring of sacrificial love.
Her intercession is the utterance of her life
It is love on its knees.

--Harry Emerson Fosdick

When a child is a Prodigal--we don't have to stop loving them to avoid enmeshment issues; we simply must love them differently. It is a higher calling. To withhold what comes naturally, to surrender our child's future to their Creator, to let go of our maternal instincts and have faith in our God who shares in our love for our children--is sacrificial love. I sacrifice my human nature--that I have the answers, that I have control over my child's decisions, that I must intervene. Conversely, it is when I intercede for my son that I practice real love....love on its knees.

Join me today as we get busy and DO nothing! This do-ing nothing takes courage! It requires great love but more importantly it simply requires what your already have: faith! Faith in our loving Heavenly Father....the one who understands our pain; after all, He understands Prodigals--he's got a whole world of prodigals! Join Him...in His desire for each one. Give your child to Him--once again, over again, yet again, forever again.

Can't wait for the banquet...can you?

And I can't wait for the upcoming Setting Boundaries Blog Tour! 

Click on the link to see who is hosting throughout the month of April.  

This long-awaited for, much needed book has finally been released.  Run...don't walk to your local bookstore, amazon.com, or better yet, go to Allison's website and order one book for every person you know who loves an adult child who is wandering or lost--for every parent who is being strangled by the ties that bind them to the chaos of their adult child's life.    This is a must have book!  

I will be hosting an interview with Allison on April 27th, 2008.  Watch for upcoming details--as I may not be able to wait until the end of April to share the joy I feel that this book has been published!  For such a time as this!  Praise God!  

It has been such a joy to meet you all this week and visit your blogs during the Ultimate Blogging Party.  A huge THANKS to 5 Minutes for Mom for hosting this massive and most successful event!  You Rock!  

5 comments:

Dawn said...

Allison sent me the book and I need to get busy reading it. I'm anxious to read the interview.

Pam said...

Hi Diane! Thanks so much for visiting my blog and leaving me your comment. I know exactly what you mean when saying your RA kept you feeling as if you have the flu. That's me as well. After some bad flare ups and I actually have a good day, I rejoice in the reminder of what it feels like to "feel good"!! I'm sure you can relate.
I've enjoyed your blog and believe it to be a wonderful ministering tool for many parents. God bless.

Dawn said...

I am so glad you let us know about the tour - I'll have her on April 18.

Sharon Lynne said...

Thank you for that post.

Tonight I needed the "let go" message. We have just locked my son out. It will be hard when he gets home tonight.

I'm looking forward to the upcoming interview(s) with Allison!

ktwalden said...

Just found your link from "Giving Thanks on Thanksgiving". Your posts on prodigals are a blessing. Can't wait to read the rest!