Monday, April 03, 2006
I have been thinking; with so much thought about saying goodbye to my oldest son, I merely have to look in my youngest son's room and I am reminded--I am in another goodbye of sorts. He is my third child, our charm! He is ten years younger than our 2nd child, and no, he was not an accident or the fruit of a 2nd wife's womb. He is a gift beyond words...to these aging parents!
While getting ready for the day, I passed his room to see all of his favorite clothes laid out on his bed. This morning the dialogue went something like this:
"M-O-M...where are all my clothes?"
"Son, I don't know what you did with them, I don't wear them!"
"M-O-M! I need them, I'll be late for school! I have n-o-t-h-i-n-g to wear!"
Part of that is true--he has shot up 5 inches just during this school year. He is taller than his mom!
"M-O-M! I can't find anything in the drier....where are my clothes!"
It was too obvious--they were on his bed, neatly folded, waiting for him to choose what he would wear. Where was he looking!?
But, how could I be frustrated with my 14 year old? How many times throughout my day do I long for a re-do of the14-year old days of my 2nd child? I love teenagers! I love their sense of humor (check out the pink T-shirt, "Don't laugh, this is your girlfriends shirt!). I love their sense of adventure (can you see the ripped knee of his favorite jeans--that's why they are his favorite!). I love how they experiment with being an adult--while still in the safety of their home.
Yes, my 14 year old is growing up too; he will be leaving soon. My house will be empty of the getting-ready-for-school-frenzy. Gone will be the noise of pre-pubescent boys as they plan their future around becoming NBA players. Missing will be the dirty white (grey) socks peaking out from under his bed. And empty will be my heart!
So, I am not frustrated. My boys are on a journey of good-bye. I will treat today accordingly. Maybe if I live more closely to this truth, I will cherish all of the events of the day. It is not so easy to be frustrated if I simply remember....each day is a goodbye. Saying hello to this realization equips all mothers to release their young men (and women) to their own lives. This is just another sacrificial gift we give to our children; that and clean clothes (and a few thousand unsaid others) is a good start for their journey!