As I awake to another day of hope-filled anticipation, I drag my weary body out of bed and will myself to wake up. The emotions of the last few weeks are taking their toll.
Turning the lights on would be an offense to my burning eyes. The early morning newscasters are reading their teleprompters, giving me a weird sense of comfort--yes, the world continues on even though I've been left behind.
My waking thoughts were of you my son; how are you doing today, what are you thinking, what are you feeling? Today is a day 'off' from your intensive schedule and I pray you will be rejuvenated by the break.
These breaks cause fear in my "I'm-making-progress-on-NOT-controlling-every-detail-of-your-life" heart! I fear the scheduled break will tempt a more permanent unscheduled break. I fear the day off will tempt the commitment you have made. How can there be a break in an intensive program. There are no breaks in the all-consuming need....that THIS! MUST! WORK! Whether awake or asleep, the desire for this life-changing process to work never takes a break!
Someone has said, we must control our fears--they must not control us; was it Dr. Phil? Maybe Oprah! I think the real quagmire with fear is that while we should address it, it must not direct us.
So as I stumble through these first moments of this challenging day, I am reminded of the words of someone I DO know: "FEAR NOT!"
4 He will cover you with his feathers,
and under his wings you will find refuge;
his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.
5 You will not fear the terror of night,
nor the arrow that flies by day,
6 nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness,
nor the plague that destroys at midday.
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, "Abba, Father."
I Peter 3: 13-15
13Who is going to harm you if you are eager to do good? 14But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed. "Do not fear what they fear; do not be frightened." 15But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect"
Dear Abba Father...hear my prayer. Let me walk through this day, where I am tempted to fear, by trusting in YOU. Be my strength. Thank you for loving me enough to know me...really know me...and provide a way to peace and confidence when I am surrounded by the terror of my own thoughts. Thank you that I can find refuge in the shelter of your faithfulness. Thank you that I can find your strength each time I am weak. May others see my weakness and see your strength...for then, I will surely "boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me" YOUR grace is sufficient for me! (2 Corinthians 12:9)
My son, God's got our backs! He knows our frailties and has provided a way through every fear we (maybe just me!) may have! He loves you! He loves me! "There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear" (I John 4:18 a); ahhhhh, do you feel the confidence and peace son?
I have nothing to fear for this day! May it be a day of rest and relaxation, a day of confidence and peace, knowing that you are in the process of a miracle! My Miracle In Progress....I love you!