Wednesday, April 12, 2006

EVERY STEP I TAKE

A little hunched over from the long haul--my son arrived safely in Orlando on Thursday evening, April 6th at 6:00 p.m. My 6'4", 23-year-old-always- independent-sometimes-rebellious-son made it without incident cross-country, navigating highways and expressways for 1554 miles, negotiating hotel rates and detours without fear; still as he leapt up the stairs to meet me at my hotel doorway--he fell onto my 5'6" frame....and cried.

"You keep track of my children's wanderings. You put their tears into Your bottle. Are they not in Your book?" Psalm 56:8

It was an exhaustive and emotional journey for my son, full of opportunity for reflection and softening of one's heart. Each mile of his drive was covered in prayer; it is what a mother does from the moment of conception.

"When God thought of mother, he must have laughed with satisfaction and framed it quickly--so rich, so deep, so divine, so full of soul, power, and beauty was the conception." Henry Ward Beecher.

Somehow, his tears represented hope; his heartstrings remained in tact--he missed his family. He was entering a new city, a new job, and a new role--he would be the man he would need to count on from now on. Perhaps he was mourning the loss of a long childhood; better still, was he relieved to finally arrive at this moment in his life? He was at the onset of a fresh new start.

"Though my children walk in the midst of trouble, You will revive them. You will stretch forth Your hand against the wrath of their enemies, and Your right hand will save them." Psalm 138:7

Our weekend together was filled with a checklist of things to get done. Open a bank account (check), find an apartment (check), locate the Doctor and Dentist's offices (check), find the D.M.V. (check) and car repair shop (check). Each step of the way, as we prepared for his future, God provided.

"My children's hearts devise their ways, but You, LORD, direct their steps." Proverbs 16:9

Oh, and we had fun! A late night trek to Hard Rock Cafe, strolling along Universal's City Walk, shopping at Downtown Disney, Breakfast with Winnie the Pooh, Tigger, The Mad-hatter and Snow White at Disney's Grand Floridian, dinner at Kobe's Japanese Steakhouse, getting lost looking for the hugest mall ever (Mom was driving!) and simply taking in all the sites and sounds of a very beautiful City. The sun warmed our faces and peace filled our hearts.

"Don't worry about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to Me. And My peace, which passes all understanding, will keep your heart and mind through Jesus Christ." Philippians 4:6-7

Yes, it was a very good weekend. As I prepared to leave Orlando on Monday morning, I was filled with emotion. Reviewing the whirlwind of planning that had brought us to Orlando and the flurry of activity to this point, I had to stop and remind myself to breathe deeply. Do you ever forget to breathe? Maybe it's just me; but at that moment, I found myself forcing a deep breath and the words to a Michael W. Smith came to mind, Breathe. Silently singing these words, my lungs were refreshed and my soul was quieted.

Within that calming breath, also came the realization that this fresh start may just in fact be part of God's promise for my son. Psalm 147:3 assures, "You heal my children, the broken in heart, and bind up their wounds." As we shared our final moments, my son wept as we hugged good-bye. Looking at his tear-stained face, after years of struggle and pain, I recognized the face of my little boy. As the tears streamed down my face onto his trembling shoulders, each one held a very special prayer; a prayer for more than the moment, a prayer holding eternal value--that the loneliness my little boy was feeling, would draw him to be filled up.....once and forever.......by God.

"In every man there is a loneliness, an inner chamber of peculiar life into which God only can enter." George Macdonald

Every step I have taken since boarding that airplane has been filled with confidence as I continue to stand in the gap for my prodigal, for "I am confident of this very thing, that You who have begun a good work in my son will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ." Philippians 1:6

*All scripture references and quotes are from My Personal PROMISE BIBLE for Mothers. I highly recommend this pocket size life-saver published by Honor Books, Tulsa, Oklahoma!

26 comments:

Morning Glory said...

My eyes are filled with tears as I read this. How hard it must be for you, but how wonderful your faith is. I've prayed for you while you were gone and have waited for the trip report. It sounds like it was a really lovely time together. I'm so glad.

great2beme said...

I read your blog after you said it was close to mine and wow it was. It gives me peace to know your son is more grown up then my kids and yet you weep together, laugh together and pray for one another I am sure as well. It makes watching mine grow up a little easier and it gives me a peace, The verses were a great reminder for me as well I wrote several down to meditate on as I face the big battle I am going into with the school system. I read the one about salt and I landed one something Monday that now I need to flavor for others so he won't be so bitter anymore. Anyway, your story, your faith and your incredible love story between a mother and a son were inspiring and thank you for sharing!!!

Rachel said...

I'm glad you had a good time with your son!

Free In Christ said...

What an awesome experience. It sounds like your son KNOWS how much you love him, unconditionally. This was a very touching post.

Saija said...

what a blessing you are to your son ... surrounding him with your prayer and breathing scripture into it all... blessings to you Diane!

Elizabeth said...

So happy for you that you made some very good memories and set up for your son so well as possible so that he will be better able to survive. It is the hardest thing to leave them behind...move them out on their own, etc. Sometimes as mamas we have an awfully hard job. But prayer is our best weapon isn't it?

Blessings on you both!

Juliabohemian said...

Once again, wow. I so cannot relate to that kind of feeling.

When I was 18, I left home and my parents didn't talk to me for...jeez, months. It wasn't until I had a really bad accident that someone called them. They weren't worried where I was. I hope to have this kind of connection with my own children.

msdramateacherlady said...

I am happy to hear that everyone made to Orlando safe, and that you have returned home. What an exciting journey for your son to be starting. Knowing he has your support will help him to be successful.

aggiejenn said...

This was a joy to read. I'm so glad things are looking up for your son and that you have such a good relationship with him. Thank you for sharing this with us.

heartsjoy said...

WHaaaa! Sniffle Sniffle!! That is the SWEETEST story! I was sitting her reading with my little 8 year old son close at hand. When I had to go for the tissues (when you said you saw your little boy again...when he was crying) I just started weeping and my son was looking alarmed. He asked why I was crying...I said this story I was reading was just so touching about another mother and her son. He said "Are you sad?" No. "Then why are you crying?" I just think of my little boy and relate to how that mother must feel. He looked confused. I told him to get ready because in life and with women especially Mommy he would see this and probably not understand. L

Shalee said...

God is so faithful! I am so happy that you had a blessed time with your son. Your son can have no doubt that you truly love and protect him with prayers.

theresa said...

Catching up on your blog after a long two week move on our new house. And once again, it's a tear-jerker!! My littles one are only 3 and 1 and I can't imagine this day in the future with my girls. We'll be praying for you!!

moira said...

Hi soo glad you had a good trip home and you know that I am thinking and praying all goes well
Moira

Cherrypie said...

You made my eyes leak xx

Perri said...

I can't wait to read how successful he is. Your writing is truly awesome. You put into words what so many of us feel when we send our children off into the world.

Sue said...

Glad you had the opportunity to join your son as he begin this part of his life.
Blessings,
Sue

C. H. Green said...

What a journey both of you are on! This post just reinforces my belief that it is ordained of God for you to share your experiences with the world. So many prodigals, so little time...

Danielle said...

Great post. My eyes are also tearful being a mother myself. Surrendering our children to God is so tough but God understands.

I always think of Moses mother placing him in a basket and sending him away on the stream. There comes a point in time where we let go...

Thank you for sharing the Promise Bible that you are using. I might get that...and give it out as a gift. It sounds truly incredible. The other quotes you have shared here are terrific as well.

I'll be back! Thank you fellow blog mother!

In Christ,
Danielle
California

Magnolia said...

How touching! I'm reminded of the commercials where the big, burly football players face the camera and their faces light up with a smile as they wave, "Hi, Mom."

They never outgrow us in their hearts.

I'll continue to pray for him.

stacey said...

This is such a beautiful post. I'm so glad your son made it safely and that you guys got to have such a great time together.
Have a blessed Easter.

Hattigrace said...

How beautiful he can be so vulnerable with you. Says a lot about his trust in you and love for you. What a good mom you are.

David said...

blessed easter

Viamarie said...

Just dropping by the greet you a Happy Easter! May this season and all your days be blessed with His wonderful love.

Kate said...

As a daughter who went 1500 miles from home to move to Orlando and work for Disney almost a year ago, he will be fine. Great, even. It's a good city, and he'll meet great people at work. And you will have lots of excuses to come visit -- I know my mom does. :)

lazymama said...

Awesome awesome!! I feel your heart ache and i feel your pride as well! Thanks for sharing! He'll love Orlando!

bjk said...

Been there...done that.....you wrote it so well....Thank YOU