EVERY STEP I TAKE
A little hunched over from the long haul--my son arrived safely in Orlando on Thursday evening, April 6th at 6:00 p.m. My 6'4", 23-year-old-always- independent-sometimes-rebellious-son made it without incident cross-country, navigating highways and expressways for 1554 miles, negotiating hotel rates and detours without fear; still as he leapt up the stairs to meet me at my hotel doorway--he fell onto my 5'6" frame....and cried.
"You keep track of my children's wanderings. You put their tears into Your bottle. Are they not in Your book?" Psalm 56:8
It was an exhaustive and emotional journey for my son, full of opportunity for reflection and softening of one's heart. Each mile of his drive was covered in prayer; it is what a mother does from the moment of conception.
"When God thought of mother, he must have laughed with satisfaction and framed it quickly--so rich, so deep, so divine, so full of soul, power, and beauty was the conception." Henry Ward Beecher.
Somehow, his tears represented hope; his heartstrings remained in tact--he missed his family. He was entering a new city, a new job, and a new role--he would be the man he would need to count on from now on. Perhaps he was mourning the loss of a long childhood; better still, was he relieved to finally arrive at this moment in his life? He was at the onset of a fresh new start.
"Though my children walk in the midst of trouble, You will revive them. You will stretch forth Your hand against the wrath of their enemies, and Your right hand will save them." Psalm 138:7
Our weekend together was filled with a checklist of things to get done. Open a bank account (check), find an apartment (check), locate the Doctor and Dentist's offices (check), find the D.M.V. (check) and car repair shop (check). Each step of the way, as we prepared for his future, God provided.
"My children's hearts devise their ways, but You, LORD, direct their steps." Proverbs 16:9
Oh, and we had fun! A late night trek to Hard Rock Cafe, strolling along Universal's City Walk, shopping at Downtown Disney, Breakfast with Winnie the Pooh, Tigger, The Mad-hatter and Snow White at Disney's Grand Floridian, dinner at Kobe's Japanese Steakhouse, getting lost looking for the hugest mall ever (Mom was driving!) and simply taking in all the sites and sounds of a very beautiful City. The sun warmed our faces and peace filled our hearts.
"Don't worry about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to Me. And My peace, which passes all understanding, will keep your heart and mind through Jesus Christ." Philippians 4:6-7
Yes, it was a very good weekend. As I prepared to leave Orlando on Monday morning, I was filled with emotion. Reviewing the whirlwind of planning that had brought us to Orlando and the flurry of activity to this point, I had to stop and remind myself to breathe deeply. Do you ever forget to breathe? Maybe it's just me; but at that moment, I found myself forcing a deep breath and the words to a Michael W. Smith came to mind, Breathe. Silently singing these words, my lungs were refreshed and my soul was quieted.
Within that calming breath, also came the realization that this fresh start may just in fact be part of God's promise for my son. Psalm 147:3 assures, "You heal my children, the broken in heart, and bind up their wounds." As we shared our final moments, my son wept as we hugged good-bye. Looking at his tear-stained face, after years of struggle and pain, I recognized the face of my little boy. As the tears streamed down my face onto his trembling shoulders, each one held a very special prayer; a prayer for more than the moment, a prayer holding eternal value--that the loneliness my little boy was feeling, would draw him to be filled up.....once and forever.......by God.
"In every man there is a loneliness, an inner chamber of peculiar life into which God only can enter." George Macdonald
Every step I have taken since boarding that airplane has been filled with confidence as I continue to stand in the gap for my prodigal, for "I am confident of this very thing, that You who have begun a good work in my son will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ." Philippians 1:6
*All scripture references and quotes are from My Personal PROMISE BIBLE for Mothers. I highly recommend this pocket size life-saver published by Honor Books, Tulsa, Oklahoma!