Choose JOY!

Too often, when you love a prodigal, the pain of the ongoing loss over shadows the joy of your life.

Yes, I said joy; for it is there! An important book that I cannot recommend highly enough, is Carol Kent's Between a Rock and a Grace Place. For those who have not read Carol's books, When I Lay My Isaac Down and A New Kind of Normal, Carol writes with raw vulnerability as she shares the story of her only son Jason. I will not review Jason's story here other than to tell you that Jason is currently spending life in prison without benefit of parole in a Florida prison. In Between a Rock and a Grace Place, Carol reminds us that even in spite of life's greatest disappointments and tragedies, there are still pockets of joy surrounding us. (To hear my Blog Talk Interview with Carol Kent, one of my POCKETS OF JOY this year, listen here).

As we come to close of 2010, let's shift our focus from what didn't bring us joy to what did bring us great joy. Thank you for letting me share the many moments of joy that occurred in 2010 and please share your pockets of joy with me as well!

2010 was a very big year in the heart of this Mom!

My baby had a baby! I was present for Lenora Marie's birth in August; it was a power packed 4 hours of JOY! OK.. .THAT is from Grandma's perspective, after all, I wasn't having the contractions. But can you say EPIDERAL~! What a difference labor is today from delivery back in the day when the dinosaurs roamed the earth and I gave birth...naturally! In my humble opinion, it was much more natural WITH that epideral! ;)

Watching my daughter be a mommy has brought endless joy to my heart! And I am pinch-me-blessed that she shares Lenora so generously with this Grandma! While Katie and family now live in Dallas, Hallmark provided a FABULOUS and JOYFUL way for Grandma to read to Lenora every day! How I wish I could show y'all the video on Facebook; if you're on Facebook you can see this brief 45 seconds of JOY here

We had a fabulous Christmas, as you can imagine! There's nothing quite a new baby to brighten up the senses of gratitude for the REASON for the SEASON!

Our youngest is now a Freshman in College! With his first semester successfully under his belt, he visited his long-term, long-distance girlfriend in Dallas (yup, that'd be the SAME city our daughter now lives in!)

He is home during J-Term and this momma hen feels right again! He will do a little more traveling to Texas and then his girlfriend will spend a week in the snowy tundra mid January before he returns to his dorm room and mates on February 1. Can I have a redo on MY college experience please??? ;) What joy!

We spent many moments of joy together as a family this year! Our son, Curt has been working as a Med-care driver...it is a perfect job for this young man who loves nothing more than driving! Even on Minnesota winter roads! We were hoping he could join us as we helped Katie and Eric (and Lenora) move to Dallas just before Thanksgiving, but HE decided that his job took precedence! JOY!


Pockets of abundant joy in my personal life! There were abundant blessings professionally as I met online with other parents in pain each week and was inspired as they courageously changed their lives. Weekly pockets of joy as I had the opportunity to interview many, many amazing authors, speakers, singers, advocates, and a host of hope-makers! This mid-life, midwestern, menopausal momma could not have imagined the joy that is possible when passion meets purpose!

Lest you are led to believe that 2010 was that rare year of perfection, I must tell the truth. There were moments (shoot, days, weeks and months) of struggle. And yet, I found joy, even in the midst of those trials. Pockets of abundant joy in my spiritual life. If I could paraphrase a secret I've gained in 2010 regarding trials and tribulations, it would be in one word: Praise! I don't know how I've missed this for such a long time--perhaps I once knew (and implemented) this secret, but in 2010 it was revealed as a stunning AHA moment (like a brick on my forehead!)

When you feel abandoned, isolated, and hopelessly alone in the pain of your struggle--You! Are! Not! God has promised, He is always with us. Oh--THAT's not the secret discovery of 2010! The real discovery was Psalm 22:3, God inhabits the praise of His children! This was the year that I tested this Truth! It works! OH THE JOY! It is with joyful enthusiasm that I ask you to consider testing this Truth when you feel the despair of the struggle of loving your prodigal. No long process....simply praise! Recite memory verses, listen to Christian Worship songs, recite Bible passages if you don't have the energy (or even desire) to praise on your own! God inhabits the praise of His children! WHAT JOY!

What are some of your joy pockets of 2010? I'd love to share in your joy; but more importantly, I'd love to have you experience the joy that happens when you only grab those pockets of joy--they are there--waiting for each of us to engage and experience them. Don't let one more moment of joy pass you by...let's make 2011 the year of JOY!

Enough of the goodbyes already!

As I stood at the airport security line last Sunday and watched my daughter, son-in-law, and new grandbaby pass through the screening process, my heart shattered into a million pieces. Saying Goodbye after a wonderfully long Christmas weekend together was harder than I had imagined. Oh--I understood logically--I would be seeing them again very soon, but in that moment, no amount of cognitive reasoning seemed to penetrate the pain I was feeling. Goodbyes are hard. If goodbyes are difficult when you have a healthy relationship, how much more difficult are goodbyes when you love a prodigal. The 'goodbyes' we experience when we love a prodigal cannot be so planned as a trip to the airport. They occur without notice or warning and the daily losses of hopes and dreams for them soon, far surpass the hope that your prodigal will, one day, be whole.

Saying goodbye to reasonable expectations.

Saying goodbye to hoped for outcomes.

Saying goodbye to the person your prodigal used to be. Should that "old acquaintance be forgot and never brought to mind?

At the end of yet another year, I think of goodbyes. Some are ready to move on from 2010...perhaps it's been a very difficult year. Goodbye and good riddance! Others can't wait to see what 2011 holds for 2010 was a very good year! Let 'er roll! But for parents who love a prodigal, the goodbye of another year of unanswered prayers leaves us battle weary and hopeless for the future. Will we ever "take a cup of kindness yet...for auld lang syne?"

As we take those first tenuous steps into a New Year, if you listen carefully, you may begin to hear the dim melody of "Auld Lang Syne."

Should old acquaintance be forgot,
and never brought to mind ?
Should old acquaintance be forgot,
and old lang syne ?

CHORUS:

For auld lang syne, my dear,
for auld lang syne,
we'll take a cup of kindness yet,
for auld lang syne.

And surely you’ll buy your pint cup !
and surely I’ll buy mine !
And we'll take a cup o’ kindness yet,
for auld lang syne.

CHORUS

We two have run about the slopes,
and picked the daisies fine;
But we’ve wandered many a weary foot,
since auld lang syne.

CHORUS

We two have paddled in the stream,
from morning sun till dine;
But seas between us broad have roared
since auld lang syne.

CHORUS

And there’s a hand my trusty friend !
And give us a hand o’ thine !
And we’ll take a right good-will draught,
for auld lang syne.

Do you hear the HOPE in the lyrics of this New Year's Eve Song? Now let me ask the real question: Do you feel the pain in Burns' rhetorical question? If you do, you probably love a prodigal.

It's always amazing to me that we can feel both the sting of great loss and the comfort of hope in the same instant. Yes, there is hope found in the words penned by Burns in 1788, but not the hope we will need to remain strong as we stand in the gap on behalf of our prodigals (Ez. 22:30).

Where does THAT kind of hope come from? The hope that overshadows the pain of our losses? The hope that sustains us during the much too long wait? The hope that soothes our aching hearts with each new goodbye?

Listen to Psalm 121 as sung by Paul Wilbur; let this become your theme song for the New Year. Let's choose to say goodbye to hopelessness, despair, and! the! shame! It is my prayer that you will be strengthened as you listen...grab your Bibles, turn to Psalm 121 and get ready to be empowered!

As you listen, think of those losses that leave you hopeless...grab a notebook...write them down. Write this verse directly underneath your list:

"Sustain me, my God, according to your promise, and I will live; do not let my hopes be dashed." ~Psalm 119: 116

Dare, just for a moment, to think of your future; what have you been putting off as you've been commiserating with your goodbyes? What dreams would you like to reignite in 2011? You guessed it....write them down. Write this supporting promise directly below your dream list:

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

What about my prodigal, you ask? Turn the page and entitle this page: My Watchtower Promise:

"So there is hope for your descendants,” declares the LORD. “Your children will return to their own land." Jeremiah 31:17

Add to this page in RED letters Luke 15: 11-31

Stay on your Watchtower and stand firmly in the gap on behalf of your prodigal. Stop chasing after your prodigal. Surrender him/her to God; be like the Father in this parable--stay put! Anticipate your prodigals return and stay in God's purpose for your life. Stay in His bountiful blessings so you can throw that banquet!

Turn the page just one more time; here's our first To-Do list of 2011!

"Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer." ~Romans 12: 12

Can you feel the difference THAT kind of hope makes?

Are you ready? Let's lift up our eyes from the goodbyes of this year and look to the hills~from where our help comes from!

YOU are the change you've been looking for!

If I could give you one gift this Christmas Season it would be this bit of advise: YOU are the change you've been looking for!

So many families who live with the dysfunction of a wayward loved one struggle to find just the right solution that will cause their loved one to change. Paralyzed by fear, defeated by hopelessness, they walk through life never experiencing joy....joy has been deferred until...until...until their loved one changes.

Lifetimes are spent sacrificing personal well-being and fulfillment all in an attempt to change someone else.

Body, mind and soul become depleted as we become financially, spiritually, and emotionally bankrupt.

No matter what we do, we cannot effect change in the life of our loved one. We wait. We search. We believe we are responsible for the change in their lives; and the pain of our struggle grows as we continue to refuse to accept that which we do not want to accept.

"We change our behavior when the pain of staying the same becomes greater than the pain of changing. Consequences give us the pain that motivates us to change. ~ Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend

BREAKING NEWS: You are the change you've been looking for!

You are NOT responsible for the choices, the behaviors, the consequences of your prodigals life.

He/she IS responsible for his/her choices, behaviors and must face the sting of the consequences to learn from their prodigal journey. As long as we continue to assume the responsibility (cross THEIR personal boundaries), we rob them of the growth opportunity that is presented with every poor choice, every dangerous action, every irresponsible behavior. As long as we continue to enable our prodigals, we engage in their journey causing significant collateral damage. Both to them and to us.

The change you've been looking for is IN you!

Things do not change; we change. ~ Henry David Thoreau

You can step into JOY today: YOU can change!

• Decide today to step back into your life.
  
• Build a fence around you. Define what is your responsibility and what is not. Remember, fences keep danger out and keep you inside, safe from entering harm's way.
  
• Begin your 'boundary training.' Respect your fence! Honor your boundaries! "Do" your boundaries! "If your boundary training consists only of words, you are wasting your breath. But if you 'do' boundaries [...others] will internalize the experiences, remember them, digest them, and make them part of how they see reality." ~Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend

Feel the effectiveness of Dr's Cloud and Townsend's words: Here we've been trying to affect change for all of these years....and all we had to do was establish and 'do' our boundaries! We are the change we've been looking for!

• Choose what will be protected behind your new fence: your joy, your happiness, your dreams, your goals. Family, finances, faith, fun! What do you want your life to look like? Remember, life is NOT a dress rehearsal! You pass this way only once...isn't it time to take the reins of your life...and ENJOY!

But what about our prodigals? How can we move on without them?

Grab your Bibles and read Luke 15: 11-24. I'll be here waiting...go ahead...give it a read :)

I just have one question: What did the father of the lost son do?

He did not chase after his prodigal and enter the pig pen with him.

He did not save his prodigal from hunger, despair, or squander.

He! Stayed! Home! He stayed behind his front gate and continued on with his life. Oh, he awaited the return of his lost son (and I can imagine him sending his servants each and every day to look for his son's return) for we read in vv 22-24: “But the father said to his servants, ‘Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let’s have a feast and celebrate. For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ So they began to celebrate."

The father waited, but he never took one step out of his own life, his own purpose. He didn't engage in his prodigal's journey in spite of the famine, hardship, danger or despair.

If you love a prodigal--you KNOW, how you KNOW--this could not have been easy.

And yet, what do we learn from the father in this parable?

STAY PUT!

STAY STRONG!

PREPARE FOR THE BANQUET!

We're gonna need a fortress of boundaries to prepare for that banquet, aren't we, for with every word of struggle our prodigal faces, we are tempted to ease their pain. With every devastating phone call, we are tempted to save her. With every discovery of imminent harm, we are tempted to pay the price in their stead.

Yet, if we continue to try to change that which we cannot change, how will we ever be able to one day throw a banquet upon their return home if we are broken emotionally, financially and spiritually.

The change begins in us!

Will you test this bold 'theory' with me THIS Christmas week? Choose ONE step back into your life today....what will it be?

Build a fortress of boundaries around that choice and DO it this week.

We are not victims of circumstances dear ones, we are more than conquerors!

Give yourself an early Christmas gift today--BE the change you've been looking for!

Are You Hungry?

Some years ago as I was struggling to face the reality of a broken relationship, I sat in my Therapist's office as he shared an analogy with me.

He had long been telling me that this relationship was over, worse yet, it had never been and could never be be the idealized relationship I had so long desired it to be. I refused to accept that I had been abandoned by my parent. Staying in denial, I continued to give my parent opportunities to be my Daddy. Yet, every time I engaged with him, going to him to feed my aching soul, I left feeling rejected and sorrowfully malnourished. I believed, it was my only option: I had to find just the right way to reach his heart, for I truly believed I remained unworthy of love until my Daddy loved me.

He was closed. I kept knocking on his door; the lights seemed on, but no one ever answered the door.

As I listened to my Therapist share this story, I began to see that I had additional options.

"Diane, it's as though you've been on a long road trip; you're tired, lonely, and starving. You pull up to a strip mall with 5 restaurants. You recognize the restaurant you have frequented often, and you go to the front door, but-- it is locked. You double and triple check--yup, it's locked. Stepping back, you peer into the window and see the sign in red letters, "Sorry, we're closed."

You feel the hunger pangs; you are famished. You watch as streams of families enter the other open restaurants, and yet, you stand paralyzed outside the one restaurant that is closed."

Yes, friends, it was at that moment I had my very own "AHA" moment! I realized that because of my refusal to accept that which seemed unacceptable, I had contributed to my hunger. It was time to choose differently. I had options. The restaurant I had been trying to pry my way into was permanently closed. I would now move just a few steps to the left or to the right and be fed--nourished--and satisfied!

It was no coincidence that as I left my Therapist's office that day that two days later the nation would be celebrating Father's Day. As I entered the Father's Day Service at my Church that Sunday, I took those "couple steps to the left or to the right" and turned to my Heavenly Abba and found the door was wide open. As I entered into His 'restaurant,' I saw a banquet had been prepared for me that satisfied my every need. As I read Psalm 17: 7-8, I realized-- I AM the apple of God's eye, and my hungry heart spilled out:

"When I think of the emotions evoked by this phrase, I immediately think of a contemporary expression: Daddy's little girl. Don't you just smile and isn't your heart warmed as you think about a father's love for his daughter or his son?

For years, I have longed to experience that kind of love; to really feel loved and protected, esteemed and valued, cherished and...chosen, again and again, each and every day by my father. Sadly, this was not to be. Interestingly, the longing to be "daddy's little girl" did not die with the death of my father; in fact, it grew with the absence of the hope I previously felt that maybe, just maybe, before he died, I might become the apple of his eye.

As I matured chronologically and spiritually, I sought comfort in the fact that my husband was a wonderful parent to our children. The wonder I felt as I watched him love and care, protect and guide, was felt at the core of my heart, but did little to ease my longing. I wanted to be loved by a dad like that. And then, nearly ten years ago, I discovered that my father was not in fact my biological father and my paternal parentage would never be revealed. I was broken; the years of expectation were now weighted down by the realization that I was more of an orphan than an apple. Hopes shattered and defeated by the weight of this knowledge, I retreated. After weeks of intentional isolation and calculated self-pity, I soon became sick of myself! How could this sorrowful daughter be the apple of anyone's eyes--so I ran--that's ran to that Father's Day Service for some spiritual counseling. Unwittingly, yet immediately, I discovered that I had entered the "shadow of [his] wings" (Psalm 17:8). Finding refusge in God's love for me revealed a previously obscured truth: as His child, I am the apple of His eye! He is my refuge (Psalm 16:1), He is my portion (16:5), He is my inheritance (16:6), He is my joy (16:11). I had called out to God and He answered my prayer, He gave "ear to me...and showed me "the wonder of [His] great love" (17: 6-7). He removed my sorrow and replaced it with His joy. And I am kept "as the apple of [His] eye;" I am Abba's little girl."

Are you hungry today? Read Psalm 15-17. Listen to all that our Heavenly Father offers to His cherished children. Is there a longing in your heart that years to be satisfied? Run to your Heavenly Father, let Him "still the hunger" of your soul and be satisfied!

When the door to your treasure has been locked

Lost treasures

Have you ever been given a treasure? An unexpected gift that fills your heart to overflowing the moment you receive it. You may not have known what to expect but soon, very soon, you know you cannot live without it.

You are grateful, you honor, and you love your treasure more than yourself and you are filled with joyful abundance as you walk through life with your treasure.

And then it is gone. No matter how faithfully you look, how hard or how long you chase, your treasure is gone. You search, you plan, you sacrificially race to find it; you go to unknown places and unfamiliar territory hoping to retrieve your treasure. Days, weeks, months, and perhaps years go by, and although you don't want to give up, you walk up to the last door, just moments after it has closed...and it is locked. You know your treasure is just beyond the brick and mortar, yet, you cannot push your way through.

While the door prevents you from entering, you can still feel your treasure, you carry it with you in your heart. If only there was one more thing you could do; how you long to hold your treasure safely in your arms once again. There is not, and the weight of the loss is too much to bear. You have been faithful, you have tried with all of your might, and yet every opportunity offered has been in vain. The last door has been slammed shut. You are defeated, you feel hopeless, the fight is over.

The door to your heart has been broken, shattered into a million pieces. You are empty.

Where do you go when the door to your treasure has been locked up and sealed tight? You are broken and spilled out, where do yo go from here? How can you even begin to gather your brokenness together and take your first steps back home...without your treasure?

As I lay broken and spilled out this morning, my thoughts turn to our very own God chaser. God understands, for he's had a whole world of prodigals. From Genesis to Revelations, we discover that God relentlessly provided ways for His treasures to return to Him. He gave us perfection, we wanted more. He offered restoration with His Law, we rejected and broke it. He gave us miracles, we were unsatisfied. His final offer was one of grace--and His only begotten Son, Jesus, paid the sacrifice in our stead to open the door, once and for all, so we could break through the locked door of separation and walk into abundant and eternal life! Yes, God understands; his Heart knows our pain. His heart did not give up on us--to the point of unthinkable sacrifice on our behalf.

God's Heart.

When we are lost and defeated.....trust God's heart.
When our struggles blind us from the Truth.....trust God's heart.
"When we don't see His plan...When we can't trace His Hand...Trust [God's] heart."

Are you laying in a puddle of despair on the outside of the last closed door today? Please listen to this beautiful song of Truth by Babbie Mason. Let it restore your soul and give you strength to pick up the first pieces of your broken heart.

There is hope for "He sees the master plan and He holds [your] future in His [righteous] hand."

As we lay broken in mind, body and soul, our spirit "sees the present clearly, but He sees the first and the last. And like a tapestry He's weaving you and me to someday be just like Him."

Today, will you join me, and set aside our own ways of restoring our treasure? Perhaps we've been trusting ourselves in our search...this moment, as you listen to Babbie Mason's beautiful song, let's begin trusting God for our treasure. He "alone is faithful and true" and He alone gave us our treasure. He had the power to create our treasure and God still holds the resurrection power to restore our treasure.

You've have heard it said before, "When one door closes another door opens." Let's pick up the puddle of our brokenness laying before an impenetrable door and Trust God's heart as he opens the right door, His door--that no one can shut! (Revelations 3:8)

The Birth of a Butterfly

"There is an alchemy in sorrow. It can be transmuted into wisdom, which, if it does not bring joy, can yet bring happiness.~ Pearl S. Buck

The first thing I did after reading this quote this morning, was look up the definition for alchemy! I wanted to know what Pearl S. Buck had in mind!

I have always believed that there is supernatural value to our pain. I am not alone in this for theologians long before me have written exhaustively (and more eloquently) than I ever could about this truth. My belief that pain has a divine purpose was made not by studious conviction alone--it developed over time as I, like you, suffered enough sorrow and sadness that the only thing left to do was to grab onto God's waiting hand.

Enter, Pearl S. Buck, a woman who certainly had her fair share of suffering and disappointment. Struggle and success. As I remembered my Literature classes of long ago, it began to make complete sense that Pearl S. Buck chose a scientific term to describe the transformation that is possible--even in the face of suffering.

When your loved one is a prodigal, the journey can be chronically painful. Too many of us put our lives on hold until...until....until that moment our prodigal will return home. We refuse to go on with our lives-with our transformation- and, consequently, remain cocooned not in a place of growth but the dangerous place of paralysis. If we stay there for too long, we lose our dreams, our goals, our purpose, our very life.

Are you thinking, like I am, of the birth of a butterfly? Think back to your elementary school years, remember the process of the birth of a butterfly?

Stay with me just a little longer! ;) This isn't a science lesson, it's a metaphor~ :)

In this metaphor, we are the butterfly and the cocoon (chrysalis) is the pain that we feel. The metamorphosis is only possible when we choose to fight our way out of the entrapment of our cocoon and develop into the beauty that God desires for us.

Imagine with me just for a moment, the loss of beauty we would have in our world if that little larvae didn't push it's way out of the cocoon. Would the wonder of springtime be the same without the beauty of a flitting butterfly? If the butterfly stays in it's cocoon, what happens to it's purpose? My memory may be fading from those long-ago elementary science classes, but I seem to recall that a butterfly's purpose is to pollenate, helping other flowers grow, creating even more beauty!

Got the picture?

Science is clear, the butterfly must come out of it's cocoon to be a butterfly and live out it's purpose.

Literature may not be as clear, but I believe Pearl S. Buck provided crystal clarity in this quote.

Yes, there is suffering and we will experience sadness. And yet, the existence of both does not have to stop us in our tracks. "The alchemy of suffering" is that we can choose our metamorphosis; it will lead to wisdom if only we push through the cocoon of our present pain. We can change the form of our current state. The birth of a butterfly requires stages before we see it's beauty: it transforms from egg, to larva, to pupa--to glorious butterfly.

To me, "the alchemy of suffering" means we do not have to remain immobilized by the cocoon of pain. The lesson Pearl S. Buck has offered is an invaluable one: suffering can bring about wisdom and minimally, happiness.

Were I able to have a cup of tea with Pearl S. Buck, I would have liked to thank her for this quote, but would have wanted to add one more piece to the transformation; a philosophical element that I believe she may have missed. For I believe that the purpose of the butterfly extends beyond it's natural purpose and beauty; I believe it's foundational purpose was to bring glory to it's Creator! I believe that the "alchemy of suffering" not only leads to happiness....it leads to complete joy and glory when we let go completely, offering even our deepest pain to our Creator.

Are you ready to be transformed? I am! Let the chemical reaction begin! Let's move from the immobile state of paralysis and begin our metamorphosis! Will you join me?

BREATHE!

"When you have nothing left but God, then for the first time you become aware that God is enough." ~Irene Haugereid

As I was strolling through my early morning walk on Facebook, I happened upon this fantabulous quote by Irene Haugereid.

Ever heard it said that there is purpose in your pain?

Well, I have! In fact when I work with hurting hearts in my Christian Counseling practice, I have actually SAID it. ;)

Still, when you see it again for the VERY FIRST time, it makes perfect sense!

For days, I have been struggling to recover from a very deep, cut-to-the-heart-loss. Yes, I've been responding as I can in the secular realm, but I have also been seeking the spiritual lessons that come if we only open our hearts to them in the midst of the pain.

My reply to friends and family who have asked how I am doing through this crisis has been, "I am experiencing such sadness, it is almost too much to bear--but I am in peace. Do you know what I mean?"

Typically, I get the look of confusion and empathy: Poor thing-this has knocked her off her block!

But when I saw this quote this morning on Facebook, it explained how this IS possible far greater than I have been able to explain.

When you experience a loss, so great, that you feel there is nothing left.....you will always find God there....and He is enough!

He is there holding His hand out to you; all you have to do with the last energy left is to grab hold.

Some may not understand this for they have never found God in their pit of despair. He IS there. We just need the wake-up call, the knock on our head and heart, the eyes and the willingness to look outside of ourselves and see Him. He is there!

The very fact that we have not fallen into the desperation of our loss and suffer in isolation alone-- is our first hope. He is there, breathe, He understands, breathe, He knows, breathe. He leads us to His promise, He restores our souls and leads us to His Will for our suffering. BREATHE!

Yesterday I asked the question, Who Am I? Today, via cyberspace, God reminded me once again--to WHOM I belong! BREATHE! His promises are certain, His character never-changing. I know WHOSE I am and I will gratefully grab on, hold tight, and BREATHE as He leads the way.

The photo of the painting at the top of this post was sent to me by a dear friend. It adds only a deeper dimension to our ability to BREATHE. Have you been swamped by the storm that has entered your life? Grab on today dear friend, God is waiting with His righteous hand extended and has great purpose for you....and for the pain you feel today! Grab on, hold tight.....then BREATHE!

Do you know WHO you are?

I woke up this morning feeling....uncertain. Lost. Helpless. Wanting to simply shut the alarm off and hide in my bed all day, I threw the covers over my head and lay in the comfort of my winter quilt--I was, literally buried in my thoughts. As I began to unearth the root cause of my negative thoughts, I discovered that my feelings were driven by one simple fact: I was defining myself by someone else's opinion of me. Words spoken to me out of anger had reached the core of who I believe I am.

How often do we do this? When we love a prodigal, how much do we sacrifice as we continue to fight harder for their lives than they do? Do we sacrifice our self-esteem, our self-confidence; defining ourselves by their words rather than our principles and values?

Why do we do this?

Because we forget WHO--the WHOSE--we truly are.

As I lay buried under the covers, literally digging deeply into the darkness, my first answer was not thing things I do, not the roles I play, not the hats I wear. I unearthed the deepest root of who I am: I am a child of the King.

Throwing the covers off my body, I got mad. Not the kind of mad to enter a fight and try to convince anyone else of who I am, but mad enough to rest in God's promise of who I am. I woke up!

I arose from my self-imposed isolation, joined my Abba Father, and chose to be for our shared glory! I wrote on my Facebook wall, announcing to the Heavenlies of cyberspace:

You are not defined by your prodigal's addiction or dysfunction: You are a child of the King! "you received the Spirit of adoption by whom we cry out, “Abba, Father" The Spirit Himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God-heirs of God and joint heirs with Christ, when we suffer with Him, we will... also be glorified together." Romans 8: 12-13,17

You are not alone! You are a child of the King!

I am convinced! No matter how others define us, the "Spirit Himself bears witness....I am the child, a God-heir of God...and a joint heir with Christ!" As such, when I suffer, I suffer "with Him and will be glorified with Him!"

Do you know WHO you are?

It is my prayer for all of us today that we will be buried deep enough by our struggle, deep enough in the pit of despair, that the only thing we CAN see is the core root of WHOSE we are. Awaken our souls oh Abba Daddy, call us home to you....where we belong. You who created us in the secret places of our mother's womb, you, who has carved each day of our lives in your book, you, who promises to be with us always. We are the children of the King! May we walk boldly through each struggle, not with our own might or ability, but equipped with your glory.

I know who I am...I know whom I belong to....there is no need for confusion. We are not lost. We are the heir to the King!

Where do we go when we feel lost and confused? Our Abba Daddy waits...His promises never fail. He loves us....step into your destiny today--let's go get our hugs!

The Lord is My Refuge

One of my favorite Scripture verses is from Isaiah, Chapter 40, verse 31:

"but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."

When you love someone who is a prodigal, there are many days where the promise of this verse is enough to carry us through the wait.

And then there are the days when the wait includes unimaginable consequences that seem to extinguish the light of this promise. In fact, this is true for any circumstance that seems unbearable. Where do we go when our strength is depleted, when we no longer soar, but we experience a crash landing. Where do we go when we can no longer imagine running or even take one more step in our journey of hope? Where do we go when we receive news so shocking that the ability to breathe is no longer a natural function?

Let our last gasp be: The Lord is My Refuge!

Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High
will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
² I will say of the LORD, “He is my refuge and my fortress,
my God, in whom I trust.”

³ Surely he will save you
from the fowler’s snare
and from the deadly pestilence.
⁴ He will cover you with his feathers,
and under his wings you will find refuge;
his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.
⁵ You will not fear the terror of night,
nor the arrow that flies by day,
⁶ nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness,
nor the plague that destroys at midday.
⁷ A thousand may fall at your side,
ten thousand at your right hand,
but it will not come near you.
⁸ You will only observe with your eyes
and see the punishment of the wicked.

⁹ If you say, “The LORD is my refuge,”
and you make the Most High your dwelling,
¹⁰ no harm will overtake you,
no disaster will come near your tent.
¹¹ For he will command his angels concerning you
to guard you in all your ways;
¹² they will lift you up in their hands,
so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.
¹³ You will tread on the lion and the cobra;
you will trample the great lion and the serpent.

¹⁴ “Because he loves me,” says the LORD, “I will rescue him;
I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.
¹⁵ He will call on me, and I will answer him;
I will be with him in trouble,
I will deliver him and honor him.
¹⁶ With long life I will satisfy him
and show him my salvation.”~Psalm 91 NIV

Do you face a situation today that has brought you to your knees and left you helpless to activate one more morsel of hope? I have. Today I am done with the fight. Today, as I stay on the floor, unable to pick myself up, I choose to look to the One who promises to "command his angels concerning [me] to guard [me] in all [my] ways."

When it seems like there is nothing left to do--take note--there IS one more thing we CAN do! Re-read vv 9-10: "If you say, “The LORD is my refuge, and you make the Most High your dwelling, no harm will overtake you, no disaster will come near your tent."

He will make the next move!

Because He loves us!

Because he loves me,” says the LORD, “I will rescue him;
I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.
¹⁵ He will call on me, and I will answer him;
I will be with him in trouble,
I will deliver him and honor him.
¹⁶ With long life I will satisfy him
and show him my salvation."

If your dwelling place happens to be on the floor of despair today, acknowledge His name. Call on the One who will answer you in your time of trouble--He will deliver you when your fight is over. You will not only be rescued, you will be blessed (honored) with relief, with "satisfaction" for your choice.

Even in the pits of our despair, we can find hope. Have you forgotten that? I did. How blessed are we to know a Savior, who continues to be with us where ever we travel. Where ever we dwell. Wherever we are--He is with us.

When life is falling apart at Christmas time, the words of the Season bring special meaning:

Messiah: the promised One who came

Immanuel: God with us

Let these words slather you today; may these words renew your strength for such a time as this.

I have; and somehow, a miracle happens once again, and I feel prepared to soar again, sheltered by the feathers of His wings.

How about you?