Tuesday, January 20, 2009


The older I get the more difficult change is! I prefer to think of my resistance as "Comfort in the known" but it really is the "Fear of the unknown."

My logic tells me that our routines will change, our relationships will change, roles will change, and our assumptions DO change. But my emotions engage and I stay stuck in old, familiar patterns in spite of those changes.

That is, until I saw the video by James Thomas, a Facebook Friend, Christian Life Coach, and brilliant young Christian man. His advise to categorize and describe change in an effort to demystify change....is nothing short of brilliant!

Learning to set healthy boundaries with my adult child has been affected by my resistance to change. Making decisions in the heat of the moment causes most people to take the easiest way out of the pain. As James states, we have more than one option when we make a commitment to change.

1) modify the situation or
2)modify the way we think of the change

And since I am no longer taking responsibility for the choices, behaviors or consequences of my adult child's life......I can modify the situation by modifying the way I think! :)

The SANITY Support Group Network exists to help and encourage parents of dysfunctional adult children to make changes, not in the life of their adult child, but in their own lives. This change requires a huge leap of faith....for it could be categorized as "giving up control" kind of change...which is particularly difficult when the consequences loom large.

James is right....we CAN demystify CHANGE! Thanks James for helping me tackle my fear of change on this Tackle It Tuesday!


Kathy Butryn said...

Hi Diane...thanks for dropping by my blog earlier. This is a great post. I look forward to visiting you again...you have posted some great resources!!

BarbaraLee said...

I don't give advice. I just give this is what I would do.
We raised our children the best we could. It is time for them to let God enter their new life.

Nadine said...

Good post. Adult children are in the hands of the Lord - isn't that so true.

Debra said...

How I needed to hear this! Thanks for posting it. Blessings to you today!