Thursday, July 12, 2007

Thankful Thursday

On this Thankful Thursday, I have decided (after much internal debate) that I will share with you an email I sent to a dear blogging friend, one I have yet to meet, but one that God has gifted to me for such a time as this.

I waited until this morning to email you....although I have been up for the entire night. Several times, in the quiet of the darkness, I was tempted to go to my laptop and write....still, I couldn't make myself move in my paralysis to put the news in print. [My prodigal] is in jail.

He phoned us last night from the local police department to tell us that he was being questioned after being apprehended trying to cash a stolen check. We are uncertain of the real circumstances, all we know this morning, after his 3:30 a.m. phone call, he is in the [ ] County jail, on hold for 72 hours while the Police Department investigates the matter and makes a decision to charge him.

We have engaged a Criminal Defense attorney, NOT to get [our prodigal] out of jail, but because if charged, this is a felony charge, and we don't want to come up short once he is charged. We are not sure if he was truly aware that the check was stolen, or if he has become part of a "ring" of people who steal checkbooks and use them illegally. I'm sure that is what the Police are trying to figure out.

It was difficult at best to close my eyes last night, without wondering what [my prodigal] was doing and thinking. Gordy spoke to him both times (9:30 p.m. and 3:30 a.m) and he said he sounded melancholy but not desperately panicked. I think that tells me he understands the nature of his problem--and perhaps he knows he is guilty as suspected. Normally, when he is in a pinch that he did nothing to get into...he screams like crazy. His resolute attitude tells me much.

The young man who just a couple of weeks ago stood in my house and I feared I did not recognize, now is in serious legal trouble. It is hard to know how to I asked the Holy Spirit to advocate for him...for me. I have asked God to use this do His work in [my prodigal's ]mind, body and soul. We are not on the edge of despair, we are stilled by the shock of this. While it is tempting for our minds to race.....we are numb.

I wanted to let you know, dear friend, as it helps my heart to know that you will begin praying. At this moment, I am not sure that I will blog about this...although I am tempted. This is authentic living when you love a prodigal. The only reason to be silent about because at this time, at this moment, I am feeling that this is something between my God....and me. Still, there is a small voice booming in my heart--to share what loving a prodigal really is like.....not only during the wait when things seem manageable....but during the darkest of hours when circumstances become even more desperate. I am simply praying this morning that God will use this dark hour and shine his light into [my prodigal's] path. A light so bright...that it will be hard for him to miss it.
This morning, I am waiting to hear back from the atty who at this time, is 10 minutes away from the jail. She is going to see what she can determine has happened--talk with [my prodigal], look at his papers, and see how we can get his car out of impound. The impound charges by the his keys have been apprehended...and we need to get into his apt. to get his medications....which he must continue to take...even in jail. For today, if we can't get his med's...he can see the jail nurse and she will research (I'm sure call his Psychiatrist) and then dispense the medications as prescribed. Although, he takes a level three I don't know how they will get it...I'm sure there is a process.

I could go on....but I won't. I know you know exactly how I am feeling. Please hold us up in prayer as this process continues. I'm not praying for any specific outcome...just that God will use this event as [my prodigal's] "rock bottom." I'm not sure I can live through something more desperate. As it is, a felony charge would complicate his life immensely.....including future employment. Sadly, [my prodigal] was suppose to go to his new job...his second day on the job today. So I'm pretty sure--that job will disappear. But, we can't control chaos--can we....only God can make something beautiful out of such ugliness.

On this Thankful Thursday, I am thankful that God provides in each and every way that we need. My blogging friend was the first person I reached out to as I struggled with this news. Although we have not met, we are sisters in Christ....and He has been able to comfort me through this dear friend.

On this Thankful Thursday, I am thankful that I do not travel through this valley alone. I am grateful for your prayers for my prodigal and for your prayers for our family. I am thankful that when I am weak, He is strong.


SharonB said...

Diane I sat and read your entry today in tears. I can not fully understand, but do in part. I have had to love my [prodigal] through valleys and mountains. It's not easy ...but God is our strength and our rock. I will pray.

Denise said...

Bless you dear one, I am so sorry to read this news. I am surrounding your family in prayers.

C. H. Green said...

Although I have never met you my friend, I feel your pain as if we were blood sisters. How your heart must be aching right now. I pray that God will strengthen you, give you wisdom and peace. I know that God is still able and still on the throne. I pray for Curt that he can allow God to intervene in His life and bring him out of this confusion and despair. Know that we are lifting you up.

Dawn said...

I am thankful that you are thankful!

Barb said...

You and your prodigal are in my prayers, Diane. I did a post this morning asking for prayer for Dawn and her family because Feisty is so sick and there's so much stress going on. I'm going to update my post to ask our prayer warriors to pray for you, him and this whole situation.

I'm so sorry for the pain this is causing you.

Jada's Gigi said...

Oh our children, much pain they can heart is for you and with you today...I do not have such personal experience but my experience has been difficult enough to give me compassion for prayers are with you

ChupieandJ'smama said...

Prayers going out for your prodigal and your whole family!

Deena said...

Oh, sweetie...the things our children think to do, and never realizing how deeply they affect us when they do them.

Father, You were not caught off guard by this event, though we were down here. You see into the hidden places we cannot peer into, and You know with a knowledge that we cannot begin to comprehend.

Lord, we can do nothing but place this precious family into Your mighty hands. And that is so hard, because we want to help. We want to make the wandering ones return to You. I have my own prodigal and I long so desperately for all of our children to just. come. home.

We cannot understand. We cannot stop the hurt. We struggle in this valley of waiting and watching. But we know You are there with us. Yea, though I walk through the valley of doubt and confusion, I will not leave, for You are with me, and Your knowledge and Your mercy, they comfort me.

Hold Diane and her family close to Your heart today. Give her wisdom that transcends what she is capable of herself. Give her grace to walk the path You have chosen for her to walk. Give her compassion, give her peace, give her endurance. Flood her soul with so much of You that she cannot contain it.

This is when we so desperately need that peace that passes all understanding, and that joy unspeakable, but full of Your glory, Lord. Give it to us. In abundant portions.

In Jesus' name, amen.


GiBee said...

Diane -- I'm praying for you, your family, the attorney, the police, the circumstance, and that God's hand may move mightly and be glorified. May you find peace in knowing that your friends are supporting you in prayer!

Morning Glory said...

Diane, I've already said this to you in email, but I'll remind you here that God will hold your hand and go through this valley with you. He'll carry you in His strong arms when you can't walk anymore. Together you will arrive at the other side on higher ground. You're in my prayers.

Diane J. said...

Diane, I am so sorry it has come to this. I add my thoughts and prayers to all those who've already commented.

Email coming up soon.

Love, hugs and PRAYERS,


BooMama said...

This passage from Job is such a comfort to me during difficult times:

"Yet if you devote your heart to him
and stretch out your hands to him,

14 if you put away the sin that is in your hand
and allow no evil to dwell in your tent,

15 then you will lift up your face without shame;
you will stand firm and without fear.

16 You will surely forget your trouble,
recalling it only as waters gone by.

17 Life will be brighter than noonday,
and darkness will become like morning.

18 You will be secure, because there is hope;
you will look about you and take your rest in safety.

19 You will lie down, with no one to make you afraid,
and many will court your favor.

20 But the eyes of the wicked will fail,
and escape will elude them;
their hope will become a dying gasp."

Praying for you and your family....

Susie said...

I know you don't know me, but I am praying for you and your son. May you find comfort and peace.

Lyndy said...

Thank you for sharing your heart. I know this must be so hard and I will be praying for you.


Kelly Klepfer said...

I ache for you, yet hope is such a beautiful gift.

Let the words and prayers encourage and strengthen you and restore the courage that Satan chips away with his poisonous arrows.

The One who knows the number of hairs on our heads knows your prodigal. And loves him. Blessed hope.

Delia said...

Oh Diane, I'm so sorry that this has happened!

I'll be praying for your prodigal and for your entire family.

Sista Cala said...

Praying for you and yours, that the presence of God would be so near. Praying that your prodigal will recognize His presence and reach out to Him. Praying for you that you will rest in His embrace.

Granny B said...

Don't think I have been here before.
Don't know if this will help.
I have a child that we did alot of praying for. This child hit bottom big time and went to prison for 1 year.
Long story..... child accepted Jesus, got baptized, went to college and is now a drug and alchol cousolur(sp) several years and lots of tears crying out to God.
The Lord had to do what was needed at the time.
Am praying that your situation will be better for you all.
Sista Cala can vouch for me, if you are unsure of me.

Laurel Wreath said...

No you are not alone, I am praying for you through this difficult time. The human side of me wants to do more, but I know the best power I have is for your family and your son.


Sharon Lynne said...

I will pray. Sometimes things are taken completely out of our hands, and put in God's hands.

It's so hard when we can't help.

But God is with your son right now.
God saw this coming...he knew about it.

I will pray. We are going through a difficult time with our son, also.

May the many prayers of your friends guard your heart and mind and give you some assurance in this storm.

MugwumpMom said...

Diane, I am so sorry that you and your prodigal are going through this. May you continue to be strengthened with grace and peace. And may you continue to be a light that gives hope and inspiration to the rest of us who have prodigals - your perseverence is a beacon that says "keep standing" to some of us who might want to give up. Thanks so much for sharing this.

Blessings to you.

Chris said...

I do not know you, but read your post because I to have a prodigal child. I was moved and felt your pain when I read your post, and wept some. I too will add you to my prayer list. I pray that God will turn his life around and use this for his good. It is hard
God bless you and know you're in my prayers.....

Myrna said...

You do not know me. I have read some of your posts before. I came over from Barb's tonight. I will be praying for you and your prodigal. I am so aorry you are having to go through this. You are not alone.

Rodrigo said...

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Grafted Branch @ Restoring the Years said...

I liked your last thought, Diane.

Yes, He *can* make something out of this. It's what He does, isn't it?

So sorry for your grieving Mother's heart this day. But I know His grace will envelope you and you will be able to stand--no matter what.

The Blakes said...

I will be praying for your prodigal today...and for you. Keep trusting in Him and you will not be disappointed! Thank you for sharing and I know you know this but prayer is so powerful...know that you have a friend on the other side of the world praying for you and your son...

Baan Phroot, Thailand

Princess of Everything (and then some) said...

Praying here too. Just please be really careful and let go. Let God take care of this. I am a probation officer and all too often I see well meaning parents step in time and time and time again. God has a difficult time getting the prodigals attention when people keep juggling him. We all have to hit rock bottom to change.

Brenda said...

(((hugs))), precious one. How your TT post moved me to tears. Loving Father, continue to hold Diane close to you and lavish Your love, peace, and hope upon her. You are our Breath of Life. Thank You that she does not have to walk this journey alone. Thank You, Jesus.

Pearls of Wisdom said...

I am so sorry and in tears over what you are going though. God loves you precious and I am uplifting you in prayer.

Angel ():)

Anonymous said...

I have never commented on your blog but have read it many times. How is your daughter in law handling this? My son is 37 and has been in jail so many times and I have cried so many rivers of tears. Only in the last 3 years have I completely turned him over to the Lord. He knows we will not send bail money. We have spent thousands of dollars trying to help him overcome this. He is a very angry man. He has two precious children. I'm just another prodigal's mother.

eph2810 said...

Diane - thank you so much for sharing from your heart. I really don't know what to say, but know I am praying...

Be blessed today and always...

Lisa said...

This must be so frightening, esp at first! I cannot even imagine getting that first call.

But I know that you strong and have many people praying with and for you and your family.

May God continue to give you strength and wisdom, and may you find peace throughout the chaos.

groovyoldlady said...

Been there. Done that.

God IS faithful - both to you and to your prodigal. Keep your eyes on the Lord and not on the swirling tempest!