Thursday, June 21, 2007

My life is but a weaving,
between my God and me,
I do not choose the colors,
He worketh steadily.
Oft times he weaveth sorrow,
and I in foolish pride
Forget He sees the upper,
and I the underside.
Not till the loom is silent,
and the shuttles cease to fly,
Will God unroll the canvas,
and explain the reasons why
The dark threads are as needful
in the skillful weaver's hand
As threads of gold and silver
in the pattern He has planned.
(Author unknown)
I am thankful for poetry. "The Weaver" is the poem that, at the time of my father's death, our family sent to each person who blessed us during our time of grief. Today, I find myself returning to this poem of comfort.
I am thankful for "Aha" moments, yes, even the painful ones. I have
learned and been convicted this week that I must stop chasing my prodigal. In my desire to do all that it takes to stay in relationship with him throughout his wayward journey, I have not followed the guiding principles of God's Word found in Luke 15: 11-31.
I am thankful for hope. We have once again returned to the place when loving a prodigal has become so painful. Too painful. When I look into his eyes, I no longer recognize the little boy I gave birth to. As he enters our home it is as if a stranger has entered, still, my heart longs to hold my sweet, lost, son. There is a chill in my heart that threatens to take up a permanent residence. And yet, today, I listen, not to the "dark threads" of this threat, but to the hope we have in "The Weaver." I am thankful to defer to His "help and shield" for this loss.
I am thankful that "our help is in the name of the Lord, the Maker of Heaven and earth." He is the same Maker, "The Weaver" of my life and my prodigal's. In the midst of this desperate pain, I have forgotten it is not "until the loom is silent" that my Maker will reveal and I will understand.
I am thankful that although the pain of this struggle is depleting, I can rely on the strength of our Lord to persevere. Strength not just to persevere but strength that leads us to His joy. It is in this joy that my heart risks hoping once again as I begin to understand "the dark threads are as needful in the skillful weaver's hands, as the threads of gold and silver in the pattern He has planned."


Deana (Dee) said...

well said!

Kim said...

I'm sorry for your pain, but I am glad you know Who to lean on during this pain.

Dawn said...

So, so, so true!! Every word. I can so relate. The HOPE is the thing. I wrote about that one day. We are still hanging on to hope that the other "situation" in our lives will be a part of that beautiful tapestry someday. The part of the "stillness of the weaver" struck me especially.

Re your comment - long hair is bad for me! Not everyone. I have very yucky hair that only cooperates with the help of chemicals and scissors!

Blessings, friend.

Dawn said...

One other thought - I mentioned in one of the "deliverance" posts about the eyes of the TC students when they first entered the program and the difference when they were changed by God and their lives were cleaned up. Amazing! The eye is definitely the window of the soul.

Halfmoon Girl said...

What a lovely poem that brings hope. I had a quick look around here- what a ministry of encouragement you offer. Thank you

Delia said...

It's difficult to watch our prodigals change from the children we've always known and not be able to do anything. We're going through something like that now. I'm so glad we have God to handle it for us.

The poem is very beautiful. Thanks for sharing it.

Sharon said...

I "hear" you.
Although our son is home--he has not returned to his Father. I have had to place that area of his life in the hands of my Father.
If your son is also your brother in Christ-- sometimes we have to follow the word and let them go.
God is guiding even when we have to walk that truth out in faith.

Sharon said...

I'm so sorry for your pain, but just keep on trusting and leaning on God. Keep praying ~ for God always answers prayers.

Mary said...

Thanks for sharing your heart. God's Word never returns void but accomplishes that for which He sent it. Keep on praying. God's Word is true. Praying with you. Blessings on your day.

Karen said...

Wow! I loved that poem!! I am so sorry for the pain you are going through. I will be keeping you in my prayers. And thank you for your sweet comments on my blog today!

Blessings to you and yours~

Terri @ In His Hands said...

My heart aches for you. Thanks for sharing the poem and I'll keep you and your son in my prayers.


Denise said...

Bless you for such a precious post.

groovyoldlady said...

It is tremendously hard to stop chasing, to stop trying to fix things, to stop trying to make healing or repentance or restoration happen.

But It's VERY freeing when you do.

Sandy said...

Hi Diane, I love your list, but my favorite is HOPE. So important for all of us not to lose HOPE.
Thanks for visiting my site.
For Reluctant Entertainers

Betty Jane said...

I do understand your pain but do cling to the Hope that only He can give and in a real way continue to show you just what that looks like. I pray that your heart finds rest in trusting Him. Blessings Sister -

MugwumpMom said...

Yes, it hurts. The only solace is that we can trust that God will find him. He leaves the 99 and goes to look for the 1, and "when He has found him" there is rejoicing...not "if" but "when". Your son will be found, as will mine.

BunnyGirl said...

Hey there,
I don't have a prodigal child but a husband. I find it tough so to read a mother's perspective on it is so challenging. Keep the faith and hold on. This is a great site and an encouragment to others.

By the grace of God ... said...

Such a beautiful -- beautiful post. I can relate as I have some prodigals as well, and I am so very thankful for the hope we have in the Lord! Bless you dear one!! Huggles!

Sharon Lynne said...

My heart goes out to you. I know how hard it is to bear the pain...and keep walking.

In times like these, it seems that everything else falls away except Jesus. Keep your focus on Him--as the storms of pain wage around you. Keep your eyes on Him. He will steady you.

Dawn said...

I have tagged you for an inspiration little meme. Hope you have time to do it!

Penless Thoughts said...

Your post brought tears to my eyes. Been there, done that.

Grafted Branch @ Restoring the Years said...

You express the pain of loving a lost one very well. For me, for now, I've taken up the mantle from my deceased grandparents in praying for my dad.

Nadine said...

Wow - well said. I wil pray for you and your family.

eph2810 said...

Diane - that is such a beautiful poem. Thank you so much for sharing it.
I know that your heart is heavy. Don't give up. Someone had prayed for me over the years I walked away from Him who is our only source of strength, peace and joy. I am glad that someone did take the time to pray for me. Our Heavenly Father will not give up on anyone--so we can not give up either :)

Thank you so much for sharing your heart with us this past week.

Be blessed today and always.

To His Glory said...

I cannot describe how long I have been looking for a site on prodigals. Yours has blessed me. In the course of my Bible study this week, I found the following short story. Even though my prodigal son is not "deceased" (as in the story), sometimes my grief is as if he were. The story goes:

During WWII, a bereft father lost his son. In his time of tremendous grief, the father was comforted by his pastor. But as often happens when someone hurts so deeply, he said some things he didn't mean. This father was angry over what had happened to his son and angry with God that He had let his son die. The nearest person he could find to God was his pastor, so he let him have it.

"Where was your God when my son was killed?" he shouted at the pastor as tears rolled down his cheeks.

With understanding and compassion, the pastor quietly answered: "In the same place He was when His own Son was killed."

This story served to remind me that nothing we go through on this earth has not already been felt through the nail scarred hands of Christ. Our grief over our "lost" sons and daughters has true meaning to our Heavenly Father and he cares deeply about what we are going through. He has been there FIRST.

Anyway...the story gave me comfort and I hope others get the same. Thanks for you efforts towards other parents of prodigals. Out of NEED grows BELIEF. Thank God for happy endings! (Story quoted from "Jumping Hurdles, Hitting Glitches, Overcoming Setbacks" by Steve Brown. Great Book!)

Lynn said...

The poem is awesome. I need to keep a copy on my bulitin board. Thank you.

Sista Cala said...

So glad to find "The Weaver" again. I failed to copy it when you first posted it. I had a copy once and somewhere over the years, I lost it. It truly is a timeless piece.