Monday, June 11, 2007

Key Bible Text

Read Luke 15: 11-32

God Cares About … Prodigals (Part 1) (published LifeLine 6/11/07)

More than one in five Christian kids admit they use or have used
drugs/alcohol.
- According to the Barna Research Group - Hit by a Ton of Bricks

Perspective

While the word Prodigal cannot be found in the Bible, the dictionary defines prodigal as “rashly or wastefully.” Additionally, one cannot define prodigal without referring to the parable of the lost son. H. Norman Wright, a psychologist and prolific Christian author has defined prodigal in the following manner:

"The word is used to describe someone who is extremely wasteful. In the biblical story of the prodigal son, the son wastes his inheritance and so much more. Prodigal children waste the values their parents have worked to instill in them. They waste their potential, their abilities, their health, their future. In some cases, they waste their lives.” (Loving A Prodigal, H. Norman Wright)

Prodigals are not limited to one’s children or drug use; Christian and non-Christian alike, whether child or adult, spouse, relative, or friend—anyone who walks away from God is lost and in need of prayer!

Pray:
Pray a hedge around the prodigals in your life (Hosea 2: 6-7)

Serve:
Stand in the gap for the prodigals in your life (Ezekiel 22:30)

Give: Support and hope to the families of a prodigal. Be their Aaron and Hur (Exodus 17:12)

Challenge:
Find meaningful ways to minister to the family of a prodigal. Be a listening ear, offer prayer support, and actively enter their journey as they wait for their loved one to return home. If you are the family of a prodigal, choose a friend to share your heartache with; select a prayer partner to stand in the gap with you.

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Collateral Damage (Part One) (originally published 10/02/06)

When you love a wayward child your heart is torn to pieces. No matter the circumstances of your prodigal’s choices: drugs, alcohol, mental illness, jail, prison, lies or deception; each is a dart that further poisons your emotions, changing your core worldview. No matter how much hope you cling to, the day-to-day experiences of your reality chip away at the very core of everything you hold dear and sacred. Family, friends, faith—all are encumbered with the weight of your burden.

The energy required to stay connected with those around you is depleted with every misspoken word, every misunderstood conversation, and every misinformed statement of concern. Don’t misunderstand; the damage the choices your wayward child makes are clear to all who know them. It’s the collateral damage, the invisible ramifications of your prodigal's choices that weave through your heart with a vengeance; spouse against spouse, sibling against sibling, friend against friend. Perhaps the most damaging consequence is the insult of injury done to your faith.

Oh, the irony of such a statement. While you remain firmly intact, standing in the gap for your loved one, your faith falters. Questions become accusations, hope becomes despair, and your faith becomes fodder for the enemy. How long the wait, Oh Lord? I have stood on your Word, on your very Promises; where is my answer, Oh God? Why don’t you hear me? I feel so abandoned in this journey; why can’t you reach my son?

While you shore yourself up, shaming yourself for even doubting, the conflict enters another sacred area of your heart—your home. After all, who else really understands the battle you are waging? The very people who have been your life source become the enemy. No one else is safe enough to share such raw emotions. Within this state of vulnerability, each family member copes differently—while one is facing the issues head on, the other is resting in denial. While one is practicing grace, the other is unable to tolerate, yet, one more excuse. Stretched beyond reasonable limits, creative parenting exposes foundational limits of forbearance that could never possibly have been discussed in any pre-marital counseling sessions. Every attempt to reach out is squelched, receiving only shame and embarrassment for not producing solutions. With each attempt, your perception affirms: this is your battle alone to fight. This isolation causes a family in struggle to collapse on itself.

Still, no matter how certain the family is that others will not understand—after all—history has shown just that—the family needs support. This is a heavy burden to bear alone. The family spirals into a shared depression, which of course, is desperately addressed once again, by itself. Even though the prodigal’s family may be diligently trying to live in the joy of life, it is collapsing under the pressure of the collateral damage of the prodigal’s journey. Individually and corporately, the color of their world has been tainted. Short of the miracle of the prodigal's return, will the brilliant hues of their hearts ever be restored?

4 comments:

Dawn said...

Oh, my goodness, I have read this before, but you capture our journeys so well! I was nodding my head at everything you said. I am so thankful for you and your ability to succintly put it into words. And for understanding!

I actually hit on a bit of this in my post today as well - though I was quoting someone else who said it well, and it wasn't strictly about prodigals, but any time we have a promise from God and then it takes SO LONG to see the answer.

groovyoldlady said...

I have so been there, done that!

Good news today, though: We just got a letter from Bonehead in bootcamp. He IS taking some steps to turn his life around: went to church, wants us to pray for God to help him with his mouth and guard his heart, wrote a letter to his children and bared his soul (pray that the letter will touch his wife!)

I am aching for the pain he is going through, but I am SO happy to see him stepping this way!

Morning Glory said...

Oh Diane, I heard and felt every piece of pain in this post. I wish I had answers, but I don't. I've been through the dark valley of recovery with a child and it seems like there is no way up sometimes. Recovery from any addiction is for the rest of their life. God can forgive and heal their hearts, but the journey for them never ends.

I had to come to a place where I could say inwardly that she was not going to be allowed to control my growth and recovery from the trauma she brought into our family. The child must be released into its own solutions, while we simply continue to pray.

God doesn't come in and zap the wayward child into submission. The child is an adult and the choices belong to the adult child, as much as they hurt us as mothers.

I truly pray that you will be able to release some of the agony that lives in the situation. Set him free as an adult and bring healing to your own life. When I quit giving my daughter the power to control how I felt, I began to heal and grow. She had to be released by me.

Bless you, Friend.

eph2810 said...

Diane - what a powerful post :). As you might know, I used to work for a pastor. His first born is a prodigal. The pastor is taking it really hard - they a pastor's son would walk away from God was beyond him. But the more he tried to talk to his son about faith issues, the more the son withdrew. It is really hard-breaking to see.
Thanks again for sharing...

Blessings to you and yours.