Friday, December 08, 2006

Collateral Damage: Part Three


Time was, when a tiny soul,
Clothed with flesh and bone
Entered my life and carved
Its image upon my heart.
What lies ahead? Asks my heart.

This is the quote I chose to display at the top of my template when I designed my blog last February. One of the most stunning awarenesses of my life has been the immediate and permanent creation of heartstrings at the birth of each of our children. Never could I have imagined that my heart would literally leap out of my mind, body and soul to touch the hearts of these precious gifts from God.

More shocking to me, was the realization that these heartstrings can be broken? Shocking? Does this statement reverberate "blasphemy?" How can a parent's heartstrings unravel; break and fray, losing it's grip of a one so deeply loved?

This seismic unraveling creates havoc in your life. At first you are not even aware it is happening. When the tremors come so fast and furious that you can not help but notice, you hide in denial. How can a parent's heart close itself to it's own child? With the ripping of each layer of the cords strength, a new vulnerability exposes itself. The wear and tear of each fray weakens the stronghold of the cords center. How much longer will the connection endure?

Collateral damage (part one and part two) not only complicates your prodigals journey to home, it wreaks havoc on your heartstrings. Even when you have a finely-tuned plan to repair and strengthen them, you can feel the ripping and fraying with each new and sadly, repeated episode. Tear by tear you begin to realize that you are losing the image that so wondrously appeared in your heart so long ago.

Coming: Part Four: Keeping the connection


C. H. Green said...

Yes, I'm still around and reading blogs. I just have soooo much going on right now. I am amazed at all the work that is coming in--blessings derived from all of your prayers. I know things are busy around your house too, but keep up the inspiring blogs.

Anonymous said...

wow - powerful and scary - looking forward to part four.

sema said...

Wow! Though I am not a parent yet, I truly understand and I can relate with this post. When K and I were in that "hole" so many promises were broken. Sadly there were so many repeated episodes, that tore us apart farther and farther. Though my love for him was different than that of a mother and son, I still felt those same heartstrings broken, tearing us apart, but there was hope for restoration! For a new beginning!

Dionna Sanchez said...

I didn't have time to read your in-depth look at this, but I agree with your theory. Any relationship can be broken depending on what is or isn't invested into it.

Dawn said...

You write what I have lived. It is so well done! There is still hope as long as they are still alive! Such pain and agony.

Anonymous said...

Don't lose that image that so wondrously appeared in your heart so long ago, because Jesus is not done with you or your Son, yet. Hang in there, I know it's very hard having a prodigal son, but we just have to hang on to the hope. Here's a little something I wrote recently, that I would like to share with you, I'm new to bloggin so I don't have much on my site, but please visit my site and read Take my baton, Jesus.

eph2810 said...

You have posed some very hard questions. I think something to ponder...

Debrand said...

Hi. First, thanks for your support on my blog. Second, remember that God allows these things in our lives to mold and shape our future. He WILL complete the work He has started within you and your son. It has to be in HIS timing to make it stick. He will bring them back from the 4 corners of the earth.

Nancy said...

Great job, and looking forward to #4! Thanks for the wedding info. I need all of the help that I can get!

Gretchen Lavender said...

You have such a gift of putting your thoughts and feelings into words. God bless you.

Dawn said...

Did you read my Purple Shoes post? Did it give you "God Bumps?"

Hattigrace said...

I was disowned by my parents 3 times. That is how they dealt with their control issues of me not being who they wanted me to be.

I always loved them. I just did not like their definitions of life.

They were atheists. I left them and eventually found the Lord. Or was found by Him.

I vowed I would never judge and disown my daughter. She is free to be who she wants to be. She is living with her boyfriend, not in church. . . it hurts that she is not close with the Lord.

But I trust that His love for her is greater than mine and He will draw her back to Him as He has me.

Parents are so quick to blame the children for frayed heartstrings when in fact, the parents were inflicting blow upon blow unawares.

Morning Glory said...

Diane, this continues to be a beautiful journey through your heart that you're sharing with us. Never forget that God loves your child more than you do. That thought gave me strength many times.

Anonymous said...

I think that although our heartstring may suffer a few breaks in them from time to time - they can never break completely. Especially when they are strengthened by Gods love.

Just quickly want to wish you a blessed and happy CHRISTmas. I have enjoyed blogging with you this year and I will continue to pray for your prodigal with you.

Lisa said...

Hi Diane,

Nice job here! You capture the positive and negative of parenting and family very well. It is amazing how much each family member impacts the family unit, no matter the age.

One thing that I've learned is that even as children grow to become adults, it never gets easier. I had this vision that when my kids turned 18 that they would just magically be able to move out and become wonderful adults.'s not quite that easy, is it?

The problems they go through are just tougher, and parents have little or no control to help them.

My daughter turned 21 in August and lives at home. Her issues are much harder to deal with than my 15 yr old's are, that's for sure. Of course, she has always been much more of a "strong-willed" child.

We are also feeling the negative effects of an alcoholic in our family, and it's getting worse. That's usually the time that something has to give...that's the scary part...either that person seeks help or face serious consequences, and family again, has little control, other than to pray.

So Pray! It's the best defense for parents!

Thx again, are very talented.