Friday, March 03, 2006

Love....on its knees

Often (who am I kidding--always!), when we love a Prodigal, it feels like there is simply nothing we can do to help them. We are told to practice "tough love"--to let them hit rock bottom--that it's the only way they will learn. I don't know about you, but as a mother, it is nearly impossible to DO nothing. It was hard for me to learn that although I was able to help my son as a little boy when he scuffed his knees, tumbled off his skateboard, or lost his favorite bat; as an adult child, I am no longer able to kiss him and make it all better. Hard, this was devastating. What was once was a cherished interaction with my son, was now being called enmeshment. By trying to make my son's life better, I was crossing all boundaries and was challenged to release that controlling nature. Controlling? I thought I was helping!

It is the hardest thing I have ever had to do: surrender my desire for my son's well-being. That is, until I remembered where or who I could surrender that desire to.

When a mother prays for her wayward son,
No words can make clear the vivid reality of her supplications…
She does not really think that she is persuading God to be good to her son,
For the courage of her prayer is due to her certain faith
That God also must wish that boy to be recovered from his sin.
She rather is taking on her heart the same burden that God has on his;
Is joining her demand with the divine desire.
In this system of personal life which makes up the moral universe,
She is taking her place alongside God
In an urgent, creative outpouring of sacrificial love.
Her intercession is the utterance of her life
It is love on its knees.

--Harry Emerson Fosdick
When a child is a Prodigal--we don't have to stop loving them to avoid enmeshment issues; we simply must love them differently. It is a higher calling. To withhold what comes naturally, to surrender our child's future to their Creator, to let go of our maternal instincts and have faith in our God who shares in our love for our children--is sacrificial love. I sacrifice my human nature--that I have the answers, that I have control over my child's decisions, that I must intervene. Conversely, it is when I intercede for my son that I practice real on its knees.
Join me today as we get busy and DO nothing! This do-ing nothing takes courage! It requires great love but more importantly it simply requires what your already have: faith! Faith in our loving Heavenly Father....the one who understands our pain; after all, He understands Prodigals--he's got a whole world of prodigals! Join His desire for each one. Give your child to Him--once again, over again, yet again, forever again.
Can't wait for the banquet...can you?


Lisa said...

Very nice post!

Don't forget about me! You've won February contest when you link to my bloggie-poo! Or if you can't figure out the link thing-just mention my blog.

I'm going to list you as the official winner for February! I have a couple of books you can choose from-just let me know!!

Take care!
ps-how was your vacation?!

C. H. Green said...

As always, a great post. I pray every time I visit the blog. Hope you have a great weekend.

HolyMama! said...

this was good. i needed this!

Janice (5 Minutes for Mom) said...

I am crying as I read your site. I am sure that is a pretty common reaction.

I found you from a comment you left on Owlhaven.

Before I decided to stay at home with my son two years ago, I was a youth worker with Youth for Christ working with at risk teens. Working with kids with addictions is of course brutal, but a few got even deeper under my skin. They became part of my soul as I prayed and prayed for them.

A few of my "kids" are doing pretty well now. But the ones that were really addicted and from really messed up homes are not. My heart is so broken for them. I think about them all the time,and wish and pray they will still break free.

The ones that ripped my heart into pieces are the ones who really sincerely dedicated their hearts to Christ. I witnessed their true desire to have Christ with them. But the addictions won (hopefully just temporarily) and they fell back into destructive lifestyles.

I love what how you describe loving your son. It is such a painful and delicate thing to love a prodigal.

My dear big brother, once such a strong Christian, is now an atheist,adamantly living without God.

Now as the mother of a young boy, I try so hard to not live in fear, to somehow hand my son over to God. After seeing all I have seen it is so hard to not be afraid. What can I do to keep my son's soul safe. My mother did everything she could. My brother loved the Lord. And then, he just left. I find it so hard to not live in fear now about the fate of my own little sweet son.

Thank you for sharing your perspective. I am sure you are a blessing to so very many.

PS - Does your son know about this blog? What does he think?

Glenys Hicks said...

Hi. I love this poem! Just to let you know that I have a new blog and would love to exchange links. My previous blog was Spending Time With Glenys.
Still praying for all our prodigals!



Anonymous said...

Keep up the good work »