Enough of the goodbyes already!

As I stood at the airport security line last Sunday and watched my daughter, son-in-law, and new grandbaby pass through the screening process, my heart shattered into a million pieces. Saying Goodbye after a wonderfully long Christmas weekend together was harder than I had imagined. Oh--I understood logically--I would be seeing them again very soon, but in that moment, no amount of cognitive reasoning seemed to penetrate the pain I was feeling. Goodbyes are hard. If goodbyes are difficult when you have a healthy relationship, how much more difficult are goodbyes when you love a prodigal. The 'goodbyes' we experience when we love a prodigal cannot be so planned as a trip to the airport. They occur without notice or warning and the daily losses of hopes and dreams for them soon, far surpass the hope that your prodigal will, one day, be whole.

Saying goodbye to reasonable expectations.

Saying goodbye to hoped for outcomes.

Saying goodbye to the person your prodigal used to be. Should that "old acquaintance be forgot and never brought to mind?

At the end of yet another year, I think of goodbyes. Some are ready to move on from 2010...perhaps it's been a very difficult year. Goodbye and good riddance! Others can't wait to see what 2011 holds for 2010 was a very good year! Let 'er roll! But for parents who love a prodigal, the goodbye of another year of unanswered prayers leaves us battle weary and hopeless for the future. Will we ever "take a cup of kindness yet...for auld lang syne?"

As we take those first tenuous steps into a New Year, if you listen carefully, you may begin to hear the dim melody of "Auld Lang Syne."

Should old acquaintance be forgot,
and never brought to mind ?
Should old acquaintance be forgot,
and old lang syne ?

CHORUS:

For auld lang syne, my dear,
for auld lang syne,
we'll take a cup of kindness yet,
for auld lang syne.

And surely you’ll buy your pint cup !
and surely I’ll buy mine !
And we'll take a cup o’ kindness yet,
for auld lang syne.

CHORUS

We two have run about the slopes,
and picked the daisies fine;
But we’ve wandered many a weary foot,
since auld lang syne.

CHORUS

We two have paddled in the stream,
from morning sun till dine;
But seas between us broad have roared
since auld lang syne.

CHORUS

And there’s a hand my trusty friend !
And give us a hand o’ thine !
And we’ll take a right good-will draught,
for auld lang syne.

Do you hear the HOPE in the lyrics of this New Year's Eve Song? Now let me ask the real question: Do you feel the pain in Burns' rhetorical question? If you do, you probably love a prodigal.

It's always amazing to me that we can feel both the sting of great loss and the comfort of hope in the same instant. Yes, there is hope found in the words penned by Burns in 1788, but not the hope we will need to remain strong as we stand in the gap on behalf of our prodigals (Ez. 22:30).

Where does THAT kind of hope come from? The hope that overshadows the pain of our losses? The hope that sustains us during the much too long wait? The hope that soothes our aching hearts with each new goodbye?

Listen to Psalm 121 as sung by Paul Wilbur; let this become your theme song for the New Year. Let's choose to say goodbye to hopelessness, despair, and! the! shame! It is my prayer that you will be strengthened as you listen...grab your Bibles, turn to Psalm 121 and get ready to be empowered!

As you listen, think of those losses that leave you hopeless...grab a notebook...write them down. Write this verse directly underneath your list:

"Sustain me, my God, according to your promise, and I will live; do not let my hopes be dashed." ~Psalm 119: 116

Dare, just for a moment, to think of your future; what have you been putting off as you've been commiserating with your goodbyes? What dreams would you like to reignite in 2011? You guessed it....write them down. Write this supporting promise directly below your dream list:

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

What about my prodigal, you ask? Turn the page and entitle this page: My Watchtower Promise:

"So there is hope for your descendants,” declares the LORD. “Your children will return to their own land." Jeremiah 31:17

Add to this page in RED letters Luke 15: 11-31

Stay on your Watchtower and stand firmly in the gap on behalf of your prodigal. Stop chasing after your prodigal. Surrender him/her to God; be like the Father in this parable--stay put! Anticipate your prodigals return and stay in God's purpose for your life. Stay in His bountiful blessings so you can throw that banquet!

Turn the page just one more time; here's our first To-Do list of 2011!

"Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer." ~Romans 12: 12

Can you feel the difference THAT kind of hope makes?

Are you ready? Let's lift up our eyes from the goodbyes of this year and look to the hills~from where our help comes from!

When the door to your treasure has been locked

Lost treasures

Have you ever been given a treasure? An unexpected gift that fills your heart to overflowing the moment you receive it. You may not have known what to expect but soon, very soon, you know you cannot live without it.

You are grateful, you honor, and you love your treasure more than yourself and you are filled with joyful abundance as you walk through life with your treasure.

And then it is gone. No matter how faithfully you look, how hard or how long you chase, your treasure is gone. You search, you plan, you sacrificially race to find it; you go to unknown places and unfamiliar territory hoping to retrieve your treasure. Days, weeks, months, and perhaps years go by, and although you don't want to give up, you walk up to the last door, just moments after it has closed...and it is locked. You know your treasure is just beyond the brick and mortar, yet, you cannot push your way through.

While the door prevents you from entering, you can still feel your treasure, you carry it with you in your heart. If only there was one more thing you could do; how you long to hold your treasure safely in your arms once again. There is not, and the weight of the loss is too much to bear. You have been faithful, you have tried with all of your might, and yet every opportunity offered has been in vain. The last door has been slammed shut. You are defeated, you feel hopeless, the fight is over.

The door to your heart has been broken, shattered into a million pieces. You are empty.

Where do you go when the door to your treasure has been locked up and sealed tight? You are broken and spilled out, where do yo go from here? How can you even begin to gather your brokenness together and take your first steps back home...without your treasure?

As I lay broken and spilled out this morning, my thoughts turn to our very own God chaser. God understands, for he's had a whole world of prodigals. From Genesis to Revelations, we discover that God relentlessly provided ways for His treasures to return to Him. He gave us perfection, we wanted more. He offered restoration with His Law, we rejected and broke it. He gave us miracles, we were unsatisfied. His final offer was one of grace--and His only begotten Son, Jesus, paid the sacrifice in our stead to open the door, once and for all, so we could break through the locked door of separation and walk into abundant and eternal life! Yes, God understands; his Heart knows our pain. His heart did not give up on us--to the point of unthinkable sacrifice on our behalf.

God's Heart.

When we are lost and defeated.....trust God's heart.
When our struggles blind us from the Truth.....trust God's heart.
"When we don't see His plan...When we can't trace His Hand...Trust [God's] heart."

Are you laying in a puddle of despair on the outside of the last closed door today? Please listen to this beautiful song of Truth by Babbie Mason. Let it restore your soul and give you strength to pick up the first pieces of your broken heart.

There is hope for "He sees the master plan and He holds [your] future in His [righteous] hand."

As we lay broken in mind, body and soul, our spirit "sees the present clearly, but He sees the first and the last. And like a tapestry He's weaving you and me to someday be just like Him."

Today, will you join me, and set aside our own ways of restoring our treasure? Perhaps we've been trusting ourselves in our search...this moment, as you listen to Babbie Mason's beautiful song, let's begin trusting God for our treasure. He "alone is faithful and true" and He alone gave us our treasure. He had the power to create our treasure and God still holds the resurrection power to restore our treasure.

You've have heard it said before, "When one door closes another door opens." Let's pick up the puddle of our brokenness laying before an impenetrable door and Trust God's heart as he opens the right door, His door--that no one can shut! (Revelations 3:8)

Hope in the face of loss

In September, 2001, Christian songwriter/singer, Tammy Trent and her husband, Trent Lenderlink, headed to Jamaica on a mission trip. On their only day off, 9/10, Trent, an experienced diver decided to free-dive in the idyllic waters of the Caribbean and waved to Tammy, as was their tradition, before his dissent. He never resurfaced. Tragically, his body was found the next day, 9/11/01 and Tammy faced an unthinkable loss alone in a foreign country for no family was able to get to her because all airplanes had been grounded due to the national crisis of 9/11/2001.

Loss, unimaginable loss.

Tammy writes in Beyond the Sorrow: There's Hope in the Promises of God, "When I first lost my husband, it seemed impossible to even breath. Shock, then sadness, and sometimes fear, literally took my breath away."

Loss, paralyzing loss.

Parents who love an adult child who is making choices, unthinkable, unimaginable choices due to drug/alcohol addictions, mental health disorders, or distorted entitlement beliefs, we can identify with shock, sadness, and fear that takes our breath away. We hold our breath hoping against hope that something we do will make the crisis stop. As time passes, we continue to make decisions from that place of weakness, desperate hopelessness and helplessness. Is it really possible to find hope in the face of loss?

Tammy Trent says YES!

In her new release, Learning To Breathe Again: Choosing Life and Finding Hope After a Shattering Loss, Tammy writes:

"I didn't know which way to turn [...] But now I believe Trent's destiny helped change my heart and show me that I have it within me to give God something greater. That's what I'm doing now, rejuvenating my music and sharing my testimony with audiences around the country, including the awesome Women of Faith conferences. I want to pay tribute to Trent and also show others, by his example, how they can become more thoughtful husbands and wives, more fun to be with, and how they can bring devotion to God into everything they do. I want them to understand, as I do now, that even when God doesn't appear to be using us for his purposes, when we make ourselves available to him, he's using us!"

As I interviewed Tammy Trent this week on the Setting Boundaries and Finding SANITY Blog Talk Radio Program, I was pinch-me-I'm-so-blessed as I listened to Tammy inspire! Oh--I have read Tammy's books and many of her songs are marked "played most often" on my iPod; I know Tammy Trent's ministry message. But as Tammy spoke to us during this power-packed 15 minute interview, another dimension was added to my 'research' for this interview: Tammy Trent is personally walking in HOPE and JOY in the face of loss. She is real! HOPE IS POSSIBLE!

Please take time to click on the link above and listen to Tammy's interview. You will be blessed. Tammy Trent SHINES as she shares her life with the world. She has offered her deepest pain to God, she has surrendered impossible circumstances to our God of Impossibles!

Tammy Trent encourages us, no inspires us, as we continue to wait for the day that God will bring our prodigals home, that we can walk in hope and joy. Tammy's willingness to share her journey from loss to hope brings 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 to life:

"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of Compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God."

Doesn't that just make you want to BREATHE again?