tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22456630.post7831000838804739379..comments2023-10-31T07:44:15.922-05:00Comments on Partners in Prayer for our Prodigals: Why are Goodbye's so sad?Diane Vierehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02859925247520578754noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22456630.post-49663910590801298132013-09-19T11:56:49.222-05:002013-09-19T11:56:49.222-05:00I don't know... I have been struggling yet try...I don't know... I have been struggling yet trying desperately to hold on to my faith...<br /><br />My son is in college and has begun drinking over a year ago. He has a girlfriend who is a different faith. <br /><br />My son hardly comes home "too busy". Yet it seems deliberate that he doesn't want to spend time with us. <br /><br />I was just thinking this morning... I wonder if there is any resources or help for the way I am feeling and how to reach him?<br /><br />We have been respectful of him keeping us at arms length. It hurts and I don't know how to respond ~ except when I see him, to be loving and act as though everything is perfectly fine.<br /><br />When he got his own place about a year ago, he said "don't worry Mom, I'll be back all the time". Not the case. I have no doubt he still loves God, but has walked away from everything taught as a child it seems. <br /><br />That isn't brought up when we see each other... again, I was wondering... what is the best way to reach out to him in the brief, infrequent visits?<br /><br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22456630.post-62083721670403489842013-02-12T01:38:42.459-06:002013-02-12T01:38:42.459-06:00Thank you so much for sharing your heart. Your wor...Thank you so much for sharing your heart. Your words ministered to me as I am facing another goodbye and have cried all day! I am dealing with so many of the same thoughts you shared. The perspectives that you gained have helped me and I know that I am not alone! I look forward to more on this subject~Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22456630.post-91371725566489448302013-01-18T12:06:18.451-06:002013-01-18T12:06:18.451-06:00See, I love you for this! On Jan 6th I had to say ...See, I love you for this! On Jan 6th I had to say good bye to my son as he headed off to finish his Senior Year In college. This is a life changing year for me and that sunday, I cried the entire day. just when i thought the tears were done, they would fall once more. <br /><br />I'm accustomed to change, as my day job has required sudden changes through out my 12 years there and not to mention the changes "life" throws at us. but i have to tell you, sometimes I wonder if my heart is strong enough to handle what waits for me this year. <br /><br />my step mom died suddenly. she was my step mom since i was a teenager, my son will likely NOT return home after college, and that is ok as i'd rather have him smack in the middle of God's will than home with me - my daughter is going off to college....and i could continue but you see what i'm saying. <br /><br />i told todd last year - "one day, i'll leave you and not cry...but not today." <br /><br />i seriously doubt there will be such a day. ever. for either of my kids. <br /><br />you bring me great Joy Diane! thank you for this post! <br /><br />love and miss you lots! <br /><br />@spreadingJOY Mariehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10000514743553076139noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22456630.post-1786127869993851942013-01-17T18:08:52.386-06:002013-01-17T18:08:52.386-06:00I have tried to comment on this several times on m...I have tried to comment on this several times on my ipad (which is NOT my best friend) and it wouldn't let me and I'm quite sure it couldn't be operator error!<br /><br />I didn't have a problem with goodbyes that were the normal emptying of the nest. My problem was saying goodbye to the dream that I would not only be a parent to my adult child, but also a friend. My oldest took that when he chose drugs and alcohol over being part of the family. It is an endless roller coaster and although I thought I had said a successful goodbye to tears, I find they still fall now and again. nancygraycehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05288996419936475583noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22456630.post-71435275142418678172013-01-13T20:37:27.356-06:002013-01-13T20:37:27.356-06:00I agree. The fear is the worst. THe ONLY reason ...I agree. The fear is the worst. THe ONLY reason I have kept Danielle on our cell phone plan is so that I can get online to see her activity - just to see if she is still alive. She was the one who saw all that I went through with Sara, and promised me she would never do the same to me - yet here she is, fallen away from us and from her faith. I know miracles happen because SAra has come back home to us and to her Lord, so I pray for another miracle with Danielle. Thanks for your perspective - you put words into what I was feeling. I'm praying for you, too, as your son ventures into the world and lives his own life. . . of which you shall always be a part. Valeriehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11089096141158601701noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22456630.post-48026538069179356322013-01-13T19:20:25.198-06:002013-01-13T19:20:25.198-06:00Perhaps it is different for different people. I t...Perhaps it is different for different people. I think there are additional emotions that raise their ugly heads when you have to say goodbye to a prodigal. Anxiety, loss of dreams and expectations, fear, dread, shame...just to name a few extra emotions that are counter intuitive to healthy emotional balance. I know from my own experience, and working with other parents of prodigals, fear is most paralyzing. What if he gets arrested. What if she overdoses. What if she gets raped or assaulted. What if he has no where to sleep in the cold? Fear paralyzes us from moving forward beyond our prodigals choices. Fear keeps us trapped in the enabling trap because if we stop enabling...they will have to face the consequences of their choices--and THAT scares us to death. You are right--in either case, we must trust God to protect their souls...and our souls! I think for the Christian parent, peace IS possible because we know that the problems are bigger than us...BUT NOT BIGGER THAN GOD. HE IS THE GOD OF ALL POSSIBILITIES! :)))<br />Your Partner in Prayerhttp://www.prayingforaprodigal.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22456630.post-2769977868185424592013-01-13T18:01:17.528-06:002013-01-13T18:01:17.528-06:00Is it more difficult to say "goodbye" wh...Is it more difficult to say "goodbye" when the child is doing well, overall, or when the child is a prodigal? At first glance, this might seem like a crazy question - but I've had to say goodbye to two prodigal daughters (and welcomed one back home), and it seems the pain I felt is similar to what you're going through with your son, Diane. Similar, but different - yet is the degree of difficulty the same or more in these instances? I guess perhaps it doesn't really matter. As long as we trust God in both instances, and experience the sadness and grief, that is what is important. Valeriehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11089096141158601701noreply@blogger.com