Value in Weakness

“Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong,”

2 Corinthians 12:9b,10

Value in Weakness

Can I be real for just a moment? No theological dissertation, no philosophical meanderings…just a heart to heart talk? Woodridge Community Care, of which I am a part, does not have a grand mission statement; our intent is simple—to care for those within our community who are hurting. However, we live in a society that frowns on weaknesses and sharing them sometimes comes at a cost. Consequently, our nature is to hide our frailties behind a mask of strength and perfection. While many people are willing to share spectacular spiritual experiences (like the super apostles v.11), still today, most find it difficult to share their weaknesses. Yet, in 2 Corinthians 12, we learn that it is within our weakness that we see God’s strength.

I have a Christian friend who is a survivor of childhood abuse. She worked diligently for years in an effort to heal from unthinkable abuse and victimization. Some time ago, suffering from the exhaustion of her recovery work, she fell on her knees before God and pleaded for him to heal her, to take this terrible burden from her--to remove the painful emotional scars that remained. If my friend were personally sharing this testimony with you, she would joyfully smile as she told you of God‘s reply, “Roseanne, I have healed you through and through…I left the scars so others would recognize you.” Today, Roseanne proclaims the healing power of God’s love to women in prison. These hardened hearts respond to her witness because they recognize her emotional scars. If Roseanne chose to hide her weakness…these women would never see God’s strength. I believe that if you asked her, Roseanne would agree with Paul when he proclaimed, “Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong,” (vv. 9,10).

How motivating is that? All we have to do is allow God to do a spiritual work with our human experience. Not only will others see His power, but our weakness will be made strong. Hmmm….That’s real value!

Reflections

Is there an experience of pain that God is calling you to share with others? What is stopping you from “boasting” of your weakness so others may see God’s strength? Seek his will, listen as he directs you. Memorize 2 Corinthians 12:9a, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Begin today…give supernatural value to your pain, help someone else see Jesus.

Originally published in LifeLine Devotionals, 2005

WORDLESS WEDNESDAY

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What do you feel when you see this photo? I see love! Taken at the San Diego Zoo; older gentlemen was there for physical therapy. I stood and watched this scene for at least 10 minutes before I took this photo. Amazing!

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First Fridays with Val

"The most painful step in any healing process is often the first one. You must face the ugly truth that you're in a destructive relationship and that you are the one who has allowed it to continue."
Allison Bottke, Setting Boundaries With Your Adult Children, pg. 105

As a counselor, I know that the healing process is never a static one. At times, it seems like a client will take a few steps forward, and slide backwards for a period of time. I guess I never expected the same thing to happen to me. I thought I was well along the way in terms of restoring SANITY into my life, and progressing well into the healing process. Until "IT" happened again, I found I had to set some new boundaries with my adult daughter recently. Pretty firm and intense ones, at that. Boundaries which could NOT be crossed because if they were, then I would be condoning the destructive behaviors she has been participating and accepting the emotionally and verbally abusive relationship she continues to stay in. IT HAPPENED AGAIN! She agreed to the boundaries, and then went on to break each and every one of them.

Words can't describe the utter anguish, disappointment, anger, and sadness I felt. But, of course, I don't have to explain those feelings to any of you-because all of you have been there too.

Two things are different this time around, however. The first thing is that it FINALLY dawned on me how destructive this relationship has been to me. It's affected me on many levels--physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Nobody has ever treated me the way in which she has treated me--I wouldn't allow it, to begin with--and yet I've allowed it to continue with her! I had to draw the line in the sand and show her that I deserved respect, and that I wasn't going to allow this destruction to continue. The second thing that's different is that the stakes are much, much higher. I had to give her an ultimatum. Choose us or choose your drug (her addiction to her abusive relationship). If she chose us, then she could no longer have ANY contact with him because she is such a different person around him (just like a drug addict is different when they are drugged), and we can't tolerate her when she's like that because she is so sick (she lies, she manipulates, she is lazy, she is irresponsible, she is disrespectful, etc). Well, after give us false hope for 4 days while living with us again and stringing us along with promises of going to college and getter her credit back in order and going back to church, she decided to go back to him. As it stands now, we will no longer have any contact with her until she decides she wants to get better and until she apologizes.

Today has not been a good day for me. I have felt very angry towards her--for all the havoc she has wreaked on our lives, for all the promises she has made and broken, for all the lies and manipulations and ingratitude. But worse yet, I have felt very angry at God and abandoned by Him. I know that the devil delights in breaking up families, and it feels like that is exactly what he has done to us. I am feeling so drained, so exhausted, so overwhelmed. And I am so sad that my daughter is no longer with us. She actively made the decision to reject us and our love, and that hurts so much.

I'm afraid of this distance that I feel from not only my daughter, but from God as well. I know the saying "Let go and let God," but my quivering soul is afraid of what the outcome might be. But, as Allison points out on page 146 in her book, "True healing begins when we make the head-heart connection that we MUST "leg go and let God"...

So, her I am again--at a new stage of the healing process. And tonight, I will begin a new journey of bridging that distance which I placed between God and me. I will surrender to His will, surrender to His love, surrender to His mercy, surrender to His peace and comfort. Tomorrow is a new day, and I will face it with strength and determination to not give up the battle, to continue to pray for His will to be done, and to patiently wait while God works his magic in my life as well as in my daughter's life. Please keep us in your prayers.

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Dear Val~ You and your family ARE in our prayers.

We "rise before dawn and cry for help; I have put my hope in your word. My eyes stay open through the watches of the night, that I may meditate on your promises." (Psalm 119: 146-148).

"The Lord delights [...] in those who put their hope in his unfailing love." (Psalm 147:11). "There IS hope for your future, declares the LORD. Your children will return to their own land."

HOPE in our LORD, is never in vain. And though we may tire and grow weary, our hope in the LORD "will renew [our] strength. [We] will soar on wings like eagles; [we] will run and not grow weary, [we] will walk and not be faint." (Isaiah 40: 31)

"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." Hebrews 11:1

Standing in the gap with you...Your Partner in SANITY!!!